Basic Things to Ponder and that Really Matter in Living One’s Life
Let me ask a few questions that could possibly trigger our mental processes;
- Have you ever wondered why you would want to continue living? Is it something like you live because you have no choice…you were born so you have to continue living or existing till you die…or because you cannot just stop breathing or you just cannot kill yourself so you have no choice but to continue living?
- Next question is. Do you really live or do you merely exist?
- What is the difference between mere existing and really living?
- Last question would be, if you really live then what is the meaning of life for you or what make your life meaningful?
- What are the things (whether you possess it already or that you are still pursuing) that you really value in your life?
Let me discuss each question one at a time and so I start with number one then follow on chronologically. The answers here would be my personal answers and I am speaking for myself. Individual differences would cause millions of varied answers to the same questions and everybody is entitled to live the life that one chooses.
Question number one reminds me of an incident with my Dad some decades back when I was just entering puberty. My Dad spanked me because he said I was stubborn. I cannot really recall in details why I made him so angry but I remember my statement to him; “You should not have sired me; I wish I was not born.”
I was sobbing as I said it, not only because of the physical hurt of the belt that he beat on my skin but worse was the agonizing feelings of inadequacy or that sort which made me feel like I didn’t deserve to live because I was not good enough in life and at everything I did or decided to do. I felt that I was a mistake, that I was born a mistake or that it was a big joke or mistake to be here in this life.
I actually attempted to commit suicide many a times but I found out that even in killing myself I was not good enough as well because no matter what I tried to do to kill myself I am still alive until now. (Is it obvious?)
We did not choose to be born neither did our parents chose what kind of personality their children would be once they are born and what kind of life they will be living, (if they did live life.)
In this statement, it is very tempting to discuss on ‘was there anybody who made the choice as far as our personality and kind of life we will be living is concerned?’ The preceding argument would be deeper and broader topics to discuss so that I will just have to limit this discussion about the “now” that we are already in this dimension of the supposedly living state.
Assuming that we have to continue existing because “that’s the way it is” and we are too coward (or brave enough?) to kill ourselves then we have to let our ability to choose the kind of life to live for ourselves in order to really live that life in accordance to the intention of the Giver or Creator of all lives and things in nature.
To personally choose the direction of your life is life itself. This is the only way to live life as opposed to just exist in and be blown where the wind goes.
To Live and to Merely Exist
Basically we all exist whether we like it or not and regardless of what kind of existence each of us is going through.
Majority of the people exist and can easily ride on the bandwagon of what everybody is doing or need to do in a given time, place, and society or culture.
If one would be good enough to belong and be like everybody else then that would be enough for them and there would be fewer tensions to tackle.
The common pattern of life in a given society would be first, being born, then belong to the family, then belong to the peer group or age level socialization processes, church (if any), school, job, and so on.
Some people do it well enough to be in that social pattern but for various reasons, a lot more cannot cope and adjust to this social pattern due to many individual differences (or social defects?) such as the IQ cannot cope with lessons in school, being bullied, and many individual preferences and personal conflicts that cannot adhere to the requirements inherent in the pattern that a given society has sanctioned in its evolving nature.
Whether one can belong well to the societal sanctions or sidetrack from it, one basic human endeavor is to be happy in the kind of life he had chosen. If one has to be in the “bandwagon” then that must be his/her personal choice; likewise, if one is in the “sidetrack” then that must be his/her personal choice. This is the only way to be happy.
Happiness then is living the life you had chosen and created for yourself and can be defined as the freedom to choose; and not only has that one had known of this freedom but also to have one’s freedom to choose work accordingly.
Simply put; your life now is the life that you had dreamed of and that you were the one who had desired and created such life you are living now for yourself.
Meaning of Life for You
Life can only be meaningful if you had defined it for yourself and had acquired or achieved those things that you deem most important for you so that you protect those things from any outward attacks that may damage the values you put into it.
There are countless areas in life that one may value. The Values put into these basic things in life may vary with individual preferences; individual preferences is influenced by cultural, psychological, spiritual, physical, genetic, material, and so forth background.
Among the many areas in life that an individual can value and which one is convinced that he cannot live without are as follow;
- Family, Relationships, and Socialization Processes
- Education and Self-Expression
- Socio-economic status or Status quo
- Travel and Leisure
- Personality, Self-Value, Dignity and Spirituality
The preceding are just a few of the possibly millions of choices that an individual could be interested about and which one may value throughout his life.