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Black Women White Men - Does Race Matter?

Updated on December 15, 2011

It was only about 50 years ago when interracial marriages or relationships were extremely scarce and you would rarely see a white woman with a black man, never mind black women white men relationships. These were the days of segregation and violence against black people.

Thankfully, we have moved on and interracial marriages are fairly common and widely accepted apart from a small section of society who probably will never accept it.

Mixed marriages first appeared perhaps unsurprisingly amongst those living in mixed communities where people slowly learned to accept each others differences and over time, even embrace them. Usually these relationships were between a black man and a white woman with black women white men relationships very scarce indeed. There are many theories for this, some more mythical than others.

For quite some time, it was extremely rare to see black women & white men in a relationship and even now, this is much less common although social barriers seem to be breaking down on this too.

So why are black women white men relationships not so common?

One predominant argument put forward is that white men simply can’t ‘satisfy’ black women. As those in this form of mixed relationship would tell you however, this is a myth and most likely put forward by the more macho element amongst the black male community who are keen to perpetuate certain myths about the black male’s prowess. There is also a theory put forward by some that there is a significant amount of pressure put on black women within their families and communities not to have relationships with white men. This is sometimes cultural and may depend on the heritage of the families but some also argue that there is a concern that any children that they may have will be mixed race. Some however argue that this is exactly the reason why some black women do want children with white men. There has been an increasing trend amongst black women and especially middle class black women to use skin lightening products to give a more ‘Beyonce’ shade to their skin and naturally a mixed race child is much more likely to be a lighter shade of black.

Marriages between black women and white men have a higher success rate than black men white women ones.
Marriages between black women and white men have a higher success rate than black men white women ones.

Another theory put forward is that many black women see black men as more promiscuous and much less likely to settle down with one woman. Whilst there is no guarantee with white men, studies show that divorce rates between black men and white women are higher than in black women white men marriages.

As many studies have shown too, there is still a significant amount of racial inequality within the workplace and in general, white men earn more than black men. Whilst this in no way indicates that black women are ‘gold diggers’, it is a fact that if a women is looking to raise a child, her partner’s financial security is likely to be a factor that she will take into consideration.

Of course, it is impossible to ignore the historical weight of the slave trade too in mixed marriages and relationships. There is a certain pride amongst some sections of the black communities who see mixed relationships and especially black women white men relationships, as selling out to the colonials. This argument however only takes the political factors into account and completely ignores the only thing that really matters and that is simply that some black women love white men irrespective of their skin colour.


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    • Frank Atanacio profile image

      Frank Atanacio 

      6 years ago from Shelton

      I don't know.. but damn look at Beyonce.. and Will Smith's wife.. powerful strong black women any man would be a fool not to notice the power and ability and the strength black women have.. They are survivors .. period so you're right to ask why black women and white men are not so common....perhaps we really can't handle strong, independent women..? Good read though...

    • Esenbee profile image


      6 years ago from Jacksonville, Florida

      I totally agree with this article. I find that it "seems" that black women are held accountable for the "survival", if you will, of the black race. We are constantly encouraged to support our men and I believe that "that" concept left a stain on our(black women) mindset about interracial dating and/or marriage.

      The black race as a whole has been culturally, emotionally, economically, etc damaged from slavery and the Jim Crow error. with so many of us having a mindset that is fixed on keeping the culture that we have, dating outside of your race is almost like committing a sin lol.

      I am glad that things have changed and are continuing to change as for as interracial dating. In due time, I believe that black women will become more open and persistent in dating not only white men but other men from different racial backgrounds as well.


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