- Education and Science
Blessings, Sayings, Wisdom and Wit
Ever get stuck for something to say? Perhaps you are writing on a card, signing an autograph book, or just need some quick verbal response. Here are some sayings from mostly unknown authors you might want to use:
Confidence is the ability to be who you see inside.
Happiness is something you decide on ahead of time. A decision you make every morning when you wake up. You have a choice to spend the day in bed recounting difficulty, or get out of bed and be thankful for the choices that you have.
Each day is a gift, and as long as your eyes are open you should focus on the new day. Make happy memories to store away to remember. Old age is like a bank account, you can only withdraw from memories what you put in.
Keep life simple and enjoy each moment. Only do what you can accomplish. Take it easy. Do something special everyday! You are never too old to adopt a hobby, take up a sport, and pursue your dreams.
It is good to have an end to journey towards; but the journey is all that matters in the end.
Praise the ripe field, not the growing wheat.
Young people don't know what old age is, and old people forgot what youth was.
The school house bell sounds bitter in youth and sweet in old age.
The older the fiddler, the sweeter the tune.
Take care to lend grace and dignity to small matters, while giving the weight of deep and careful consideration to matters of greater consequence.
When the old dog howls, the young pup learns.
Five simple rules to be happy:
1. Free your heart from hatred.
2. Free your mind from worry.
3. Live simply.
4. Give more.
5. Expect less.
Murphy’s Law: Everything takes longer than you think. and if anything can go wrong it will.
Ten Commandments For a Happy Home:
1. If you take it out, put it away
2 .If you ate on it, wash it
3. If you turned it on, turn it off
4. If you messed it up, clean it up.
5. If you dropped it, pick it up.
6. If it rings, answer it.
7. If it tweets, barks or meows, feed it.
8. If you opened it, close it.
9. If I cook it, eat it.
10.If you soiled it, wash it.
Emotional Maturity is having the capacity to deal constructively with reality, adapt to change, freedom from tension and anxiety, finding more satisfaction in giving than receiving, relating to other people in a consistent mutually satisfying and helpful manner, being able to sublimate and direct one’s instinctive hostile energy into creative and constructive outlets, and having the ability to unconditionally love another as much as yourself.
'The grass withers and the flowers fall, but the word of God stands forever.' ~~Isaiah
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Irish Blessings, Proverbs & Wit
An Old Irish Blessing
May love and laughter light your days and warm your hearth and home.
May good and faithful friends be yours and with you where ever you may roam.
May peace and plenty bless your world with joy that long endures.
May all life's passing seasons bring joy to you and yours.
Old Irish Blessing
May the road rise up To meet you,
May the wind be always At your back,
May the sun shine warm Upon your face,
And the rains fall soft Upon your fields
And until we meet again, May God hold you In the palm of His hand.
May there always be work For your hands to do,
May your purse Always hold a coin or two.
May the sun always shine On your windowpane,
May a rainbow be certain To follow each rain.
May the hand of a friend Always be near you,
May God fill your heart With gladness to cheer you
An Irish Prayer
May God give you
For every storm, a rainbow.
For every tear, a smile.
For every care, a promise.
For every problem, someone to share.
For every sigh, a sweet song.
For every prayer, an answer.
For every trial, a blessing.
An Irish Toast
Here's to health, peace and prosperity.
May the flower of love never be nipped by the frost of disappointment, nor the shadow of grief fall among your family and friends.
May you be poor in misfortune, rich in blessings, slow to make enemies and quick to make friends.
May your home always be too small to hold all your friends.
And, may you know nothing but happiness from this day forward.
An Irish Friendship Wish
May there always be work for your hands to do;
May your purse always hold a coin or two;
May the sun always shine on your windowpane;
May a rainbow be certain to follow each rain;
May the hand of a friend always be near you;
May God fill your heart with gladness to cheer you.
Irish View of Worry
In life, there are only two things to worry about—
Either you are well or you are sick. If you are well, there is nothing to worry about, But if you are sick, there are two things to worry about—
Either you will get well or you will die. If you get well, there is nothing to worry about, But if you die, there are only two things to worry about—
Either you will go to heaven or hell. If you go to heaven, there is nothing to worry about. And if you go to hell, you’ll be so busy shaking hands with all your friends you won’t have time to worry
You’ll never plough a field by turning it over in your mind.
You won’t learn to swim on the kitchen floor.
Slow is every foot on an unknown path.
There are fish in the sea better than those that have ever been caught.
Don’t make little of your dish, may be an ignorant fellow who judges it.
If your messenger is slow, go out to meet him.
Many a sudden change takes place on an unlikely day.
A Wedding Toast
Wishing you a rainbow and sunlight after showers—
Miles and miles of smiles, and golden happy hours—
Flowers at your doorway, Shamrocks for luck and lots of laughter too.
Plus, a host of friends that never ends, everyday your whole life through!
Going to the Doctor
Thought I'd let my doctor check me, 'Cause I didn't feel quite right. All those aches and pains annoyed me and I couldn't sleep at night. Even though He could find no real disorder, He wouldn't let it rest since I had real good insurance, He wanted a couple tests. He sent me to the hospital though I didn't feel that bad and arranged for them to give me every test that could be had. Stripped and laying on an ice-cold table, my aging frame displayed, I was studied and was tested. He made me drink awful tasting liquid while He pierced me with long needles and took samples of my blood. I was probed, pushed, and poked around to make sure I was still living, then He began to check for worms, parasites, fungus, and the crud. After being wired for sound, He finally concluded and all their results agreed. that what I have will someday kill me, I've got Old Age you see!!
1. Faith is the ability to not panic.
2. If you worry, you didn't pray. If you pray, don't worry.
3. As a child of God, prayer is kind of like calling home every day.
4. Blessed are the flexible, for they shall not be bent out of shape.
5. When we get tangled up in our problems, be still. God wants us to be still so He can untangle the knot.
6. Do the math. Count your blessings.
7. God wants spiritual fruit, not religious nuts.
8. Dear God: I have a problem. It's me.
9. Silence is often misinterpreted, but never misquoted.
10. Laugh every day, it's like inner jogging.
11. The most important things in your home are the people.
12. Growing old is inevitable, growing up is optional.
13. There is no key to happiness. The door is always open.
14. A grudge is a heavy thing to carry.
15. He who dies with the most toys is still dead.
16. We do not remember days, but moments. Life moves too fast, so enjoy your precious moments.
17. Nothing is real to you until you experience it, otherwise it's just hearsay.
18. It's all right to sit on your pity pot every now and again. Just be sure to flush when you are done.
19. Surviving and living your life successfully requires courage. The goals and dreams you're seeking require courage and risk-taking. Learn from the turtle -- it only makes progress when it sticks out its neck.
20. Be more concerned with your character than your reputation. Your character is what you really are while your reputation is merely what others think you are.
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Thought for Mother on Mother's Day
When you are rushing about this Mother's Day, Don't forget to Stop and Smell the roses. Take a breath of fresh air. Remember, our time rushes by quickly, and we need to take it all in. It seems that it is the Little Things we remember best. So dear mother here are some things to help your new year start out sailing in the right direction...The Top Ten Things to Do Everyday: 1 - Take one day at a time! Listen to the song of birds, Expect surprises, and Except miracles. 2 - Stop and smell the roses along the way. 3 - Be spontaneous, it opens a world of possibilities. 4 - Cultivate a sense of humor and laugh together with loved ones. 5 - Be flexible and let go of plans and schedules once in awhile - it will bring new experiences to your door. 6 - Work playfully. play isn't what you do, but how you feel about what you are doing. 7 - We were designed to live in our bodies so don't forget to exercise, socialize,dance, skip and get physical. 8 - Befriend people who bring out the playful side of you; they are a gift beyond measure. 9 - Direct your life with purposeful choices, with expression, with meaning, and not with speed. 10- Don't forget to tell the ones you love, "I love you!" Don't waste time on those you don't, you'll only get high blood pressure! Author unknown It is good to have an end to journey towards; but it is the journey that matters in the end. Little drops of water, Little grains of sand Make the mighty ocean, And, the pleasant land So the little minutes, Humble though they be, Make the mighty ages of Eternity.
What is Happiness?
Grams always told us kids that each day was her special gift from God. This is what she told us about being happy.
"Happiness is something you decide on ahead of time. It doesn’t depend on what you look like in the mirror, how many friends you have, how much money you make, if you are married or single, what kind of transportation you have, or what kind of job you have. Happiness is determined on how you arrange your way of thinking about those things.
If you decide in advance to love your life, enjoy your friends, be satisfied that you have money to purchase things, be happy if you are married or single, love it that you can get around to different places even if you take a cab or ride a subway, love it that you have a job and are able to work to making money, then it will be so.
Happiness is a decision you make everyday when you wake up. You have a choice to spend the day in bed recounting difficulties, or get out of bed and be thankful that you can, and for the choices that you do have during the day ahead. Look forward to each day with hopeful expectation, not in fear. Each day is a special gift, but not a promise.
Grandma always said, As long as your eyes are open, focus on the new day as an adventure and store those happy memories away. Once you are lucky enough to reach 'old age' you can take those memories out again and smile. Old age is like a bank account. You can only withdraw from it what you put in. So choose to be happy and live your life filled with hopeful expectations and joy."
Politically Incorrect from Robin Williams?
Someone sent this to me and they really think this is true - Perhaps you do also? I do not but it is politically incorrect wit, so here goes:
Robin Williams Peace Plan
I see a lot of people yelling for peace but I have not heard of a plan for peace. So, here's one plan.
1. The US will apologize to the world for our "interference"
in their affairs, past & present. You know, Hitler, Mussolini, Tojo, Noriega, Milosovich and the rest of those good ol' boys:
We will never "interfere" again.
2. We will withdraw our troops from all over the world, starting with Germany, South Korea and the Philippines. They don't want us there.
Instead, we will station troops at our borders.
No one sneaking through holes in the fence.
3. All illegal aliens have 90 days to get their affairs together and leave. We'll give them a free trip home. After 90 days the remainder will be gathered up and deported immediately, regardless of who or where they are. France would welcome them.
4. All future visitors will be thoroughly checked and limited to 90 days unless given a special permit. No one from a terrorist nation would be allowed in. If you don't like it there, change it yourself and don't hide here. Asylum would never be available to anyone. We don't need any more foreign cab drivers or 7-11 cashiers.
5. No "students" over age 21. The older ones are the bombers. If they don't attend classes, they get a "D" (for "deport") and it's back home baby.
6. The US will make a strong effort to become self-sufficient energy wise. This will include developing nonpolluting sources of energy but will require a temporary drilling of oil in the Alaskan wilderness. The caribou will have to cope for a while.
7. Offer Saudi Arabia and other oil producing countries $10 a barrel for their oil. If they don't like it, we go some place else. They can go somewhere else to sell their production. (About a week of the wells filling up the storage sites would be enough.)
8. If there is a famine or other natural catastrophe in the world, we will not interfere." They can pray to Allah or whomever for seeds, rain, cement or whatever they need. Besides, most of what we give them is stolen or given to the Army. The people who need it most get very little, if anything.
9. Ship the UN Headquarters to an isolated island some place. We don't need the spies and fair weather friends here. Besides, the building would make a good homeless shelter or lockup for illegal aliens.
10. All Americans must go to charm and beauty school. That way no one can call us "Ugly Americans" any longer. The language we speak is ENGLISH.....learn it...or LEAVE...
The Statue of Liberty will no longer say "Give me your poor, your tired, your huddled masses." She's got a baseball bat and she's yelling, "You want a piece of me?"
Chocolate Age Detector for 2010
YOUR AGE BY CHOCOLATE MATH
1. First of all, pick the number of times a week that you would like to have chocolate (more than once but less than 10).
2. Multiply this number by 2 (just to be bold)
3. Add 5
4. Multiply it by 50 -- I'll wait while you get the calculator
5. If you have already had your birthday this year add 1760 .If you haven't, add 1759.
6. Now subtract the four digit year that you were born.
You should have a three digit number The first digit of this was your original number (i.e., how many times you want to have chocolate each week) and the next two are your age - Got ya!
Age Tidbits from Jeff Foxworthy
According to Jeff Foxworthy, You’re not a kid anymore WHEN..
You can live without sex but not without your glasses.
You quit trying to hold in your stomach, no matter who walks into the room.
You enjoy watching the news.
The phone rings and you hope it’s not for you.
The only reason you're still awake at 4 am is indigestion.
People ask what color your hair USED to be.
You're proud of your lawnmower.
Your best friend is dating someone half his or her age AND isn't breaking any laws.
You start singing along with the elevator music.
You really do want a new washing machine for your birthday.
Your car has four doors.
You routinely check the oil in your car.
You've owned clothes so long that they've come back into style--TWICE.
You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.
You consider coffee one of the most important things in life.
You don't remember when you got that mole...or the one next to it.
You write thank you notes without being told.
Neighbors borrow your tools.
You answer a question with "Because I said so!"
Others ask for your recipes.
You start Christmas shopping in August.
You paint walls for a reason other than getting your deposit back.
You don't like to drive after dark.
You say the words "Turn that music down!"
You wear black socks with sandals.
You point out what buildings used to be where.
You know all the warning signs of a heart attack.
You rake the yard without being told to.
You can't remember the last time you lay on the floor to watch television.
The service station attendant lets you pump your gas before paying.
Now tell the truth--aren't you OLD?
Oh you've done it, you're another year older...so then another year wiser too? Start taking your own advice. So, here is a little reminder to slow it down a bit. Keep life simple, Enjoy each moment, Only do what you can accomplish, Take it easy think about one-day-at-a-time!
Do something special on every birthday to make it special and different so that you will remember each one! You are never too old to play. Perhaps you need to adopt a hobby, take up a sport, pursue your dreams, take a vacation, or anything just for fun today. Remember when you play there is no demand to succeed, no need to win so you can just to enjoy yourself! Don't forget to rest a bit as well!
Remember a special happy, peaceful time in the past. Rest a bit, don't overdo. Remember that each moment of life has richness to savor! Be flexible and treasure new experiences so dance, skip and get physical; exercise! We were designed to live, exercise and have fun especially today on your special day!
So, have a Happy Birthday and be especially good to yourself. You deserve it!