Can we change core beliefs, therefore so called destiny? Part I

The essence of how we view ourselves, the world, relationships, future in psychology is called: core beliefs.(http://www.cci.health.wa.gov.au/docs/ACF3B8A.pdf)

In spirituality, the way we are, think or feel is the way we are shaping our destiny, future.

For neuroscience, our actions, feelings, and thoughts depend on how neurons wire in the brain.

Some philosophical descriptions don't have a destination in changing primal beliefs but define them, depending on philosophers and century they lived in, as a state of mind not necessarily reflecting the reality, but influencing one’s actions. (https://plato.stanford.edu/entries/belief/)

The definition will vary according to a different approach. They are through primal conviction received most of the time in early childhood and carried mostly subconsciously in adolescence.

They all, however, propose ways of dealing with unwanted core beliefs, offering us therapy, mindfulness, mental training, exercises, affirmations, etc. There are plenty of techniques, more than one can explore in a lifetime, yet even if we follow a lot of them for a longer period of time, we still may experience being triggered by certain events.

I don’t think that we can change core beliefs in 100%. To some degree, we can alter or transform our reactions, appearances, and attitudes toward them. In the core, however, we will always have our primal reaction or tendency: freeze, run or fight.

If we are introverts, then in the essence that will be always our tendency, but we can learn extrovert behavior, practice them till they become our second nature. Still, there will be moments when our primal nature has to be acknowledged some way.

Another example is an addiction. Once these neurons are triggered to make us behave a certain way, there will be always a tendency to repeat it. An alcoholic will never be cured and there is no such thing for him as a healthy way of drinking. We know that every drink may bring him back to the vicious circle.

The promise of some advertisements to entirely change our beliefs can be harmful, tempting us with something unrealistic, but making us invest usually a lot of money into ... hoping.

Knowing though that we can transform our beliefs to a certain degree, instead of permanently getting rid of them, gives us a fair chance to improve our lifestyle with no blame that we still didn't make it.

What helps us to change are usually three aspects:

1. Working on yourself, drawing the knowledge from books, therapy, workshops.

2. Changing our environment. Living in a neighborhood where a traumatic event took place, will trigger primal thought-feeling. Just as therapist advice sometimes a mental distance from the situation, so a physical one may be necessary.

3. Relationships with close ones. We will always have a strong reaction to our family or spouse. There is a saying: if you think you are enlightened, go ahead and spend a week with your family.

A few more observations:

This text is based on my experience and those around me, also professionals working in a field of psychology or philosophy. What all of these people agree on is: a change is possible, however the progress is slow and it is not final, but based on some sort of a compromise.

Changing the view of the world or self, definitely requires a new experience, new perspective, a more supportive environment, and people. Can someone build self-esteem regarding negative surroundings?

Some spiritual teachers claim that the Earth is just a transition between destinations and we are here to just gain more experience as if in school.

We all have our own pace on this life journey. The only way to see our progress is to look back and see what has changed. Some of us have indeed a sudden breakthrough, but often it is a long process. After all, nobody has learned to play the piano within one year, yet some advertisements promise us to change within three days! To do that, not only you have to trace and unlearn unwanted habits, establish a new pattern of wiring in your brain, but then implement new skill that will take over the old one.

Joanna Pilatowicz