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How to Stop Comparing Yourself to Others: 3 Simple Tips

Updated on July 31, 2011

The grass on the other side is just as green as yours...

As human beings, we all have insecurities, no matter how much we seem to have everything "together."

One of the biggest problems with insecurity, of course, is that it eats away at your self-confidence, leading you to look at others' lives and conclude that the grass must be
greener on the other side. This sneaky way of thinking can become a habit, even if you're entirely unaware of it.

You start to notice little things other people have achieved. Subconsciously, it begins to gnaw at your sense of self. You no longer feel entirely comfortable with yourself. Seeing what other people have done makes you feel you a misfit in this big, wide world.

Sound familiar?

Insecurity can tear down the walls of a strong self-concept, but simple action and open-mindedness can rebuild them.
Insecurity can tear down the walls of a strong self-concept, but simple action and open-mindedness can rebuild them. | Source

Well, then, stop! (I'll show you how.)

Whether you're thinking of someone who has a fancier car, more education, a bigger house, or more money than you, comparing yourself to others is self-destructive. It sabotages your own sense of purpose and distracts you from the meaningful opportunities that are right in front of you.

Clearing your mind of these thoughts can be difficult, but it can be done if you adopt a different mindset.

Here are a few workable tips.

A great hobby--even a great passion--knows no boundaries of age or culture.
A great hobby--even a great passion--knows no boundaries of age or culture. | Source

1. Develop your own talents

Everyone has something he or she is good at, whether it's painting, playing the piano, or writing. The people who become really successful by means of their talent--the type of people so many others envy, praise and idolize--achieved their success by honing their craft and developing a true love for it.

If your mind too often drifts to the accomplishments of others, perhaps it's time to revisit some of your own unique abilities. Even if you don't feel you have an inborn talent, it's never too late to try a new hobby you might like.

Doing this will help you focus on fulfilling creative pursuits--activities that will really "feed your soul", as they say--and give you a burst of self-confidence.

2. Focus on the things that bring you joy

What really makes you happy? Think about it for a minute...maybe even write it down. Is it taking a walk in the park, or watching a good movie?

Perhaps it's hanging out with friends or visiting a museum.

Whatever it is, spend more time doing the things you like to do, simply for the pleasure of doing them.

Taking time to enjoy the simple things in life will show you that there's more to this world than what the next person has achieved. Focusing on the stuff you really like will also prove an important point: that you are a worthy person all on your own, with unique passions and interests. Reinforcing that knowledge will help you value yourself more, rather than use others as measuring sticks.

3. Help somebody

When we're busy focusing on how good other people have it, it's all too easy to forget how fortunate we are. Right at this very moment, regardless of how terrible your situation seems, there's somebody out there who's worse off.

The great thing is, you can use that knowledge not only to snap out of self-pity, but to reinforce your own self-esteem by doing some good on planet Earth.

Make it a point in your life to help someone who's less fortunate than you, whether that means:

  • being a tutor to local disadvantaged kids,
  • volunteering at a soup kitchen, or
  • hosting a garage or bake sale to raise money for charity.

Making a difference this way will prove to you that your presence in the world is meaningful--even necessary--and that it's impossible to be inferior to any other human being.

(Because when you think about it, the whole superiority/inferiority thing among humans is really nonsense, anyway.)

Being a valuable asset to the world doesn't have to be profound and difficult--it can be as simple as lending a helping hand.
Being a valuable asset to the world doesn't have to be profound and difficult--it can be as simple as lending a helping hand. | Source

It's very easy for envy to creep up on you, but don't let it. There's too much richness in life to go around for everyone, including you! (Yup, you.) Once you realize that the richness doesn't come from material possessions or achievements--but from an optimistic outlook and a compassionate mindset--you're well on your way to filling your life to the brim with fulfillment and satisfaction.

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    • Jasmine J Martin profile image

      Jasmine J Martin 

      6 years ago from Australia

      Great hub, I enjoyed reading this... would be good to read in those times of despair!

    • roshall profile image

      roshall 

      6 years ago from Ohio

      Hi Benny, Yes insecurity can destroy some. This is a great hub. I may have my grand kids read this. Thanks.have a great day!

    • vrbmft profile image

      Vernon Bradley 

      6 years ago from Yucaipa, California

      Hi Benny

      I like HELP OTHERS. The best way to stop competing with the rest of the universe. I keep practicing enjoying being who I am and who I keep becoming. Good to stop by here and catch up with your hubs.

      Happy Thanksgiving

      Vern

    • Injured lamb profile image

      Injured lamb 

      6 years ago

      Really appreciate your 3 simple yet constructive tips on how to stop comparing ourselves to others...voted this up, BennyTheWriter, you deserve it...

    • b. Malin profile image

      b. Malin 

      7 years ago

      Maybe it takes half a life time to get it Right...To really Enjoy life...Thanks Benny for Summing up such an Upbeat Hub and your Simple Tips...Sometimes the Best things to make us Happy are Free...The air we breathe and the sights we take in. Well said my Friend!

    • BennyTheWriter profile imageAUTHOR

      BennyTheWriter 

      7 years ago from Northeastern U.S.A.

      Thanks! It would be awesome, Lady E, if you share this with young people. So many teens need to know that they're alright just being who they are.

    • Lady_E profile image

      Elena 

      7 years ago from London, UK

      This is beautiful. I hope to share it with Teens. Some develop inferiority complexes due to making comparisons and being hard on themselves.

      Love this Hub. :)

    • moneycop profile image

      moneycop 

      7 years ago from JABALPUR

      this is really helpful thanks1

    • BennyTheWriter profile imageAUTHOR

      BennyTheWriter 

      7 years ago from Northeastern U.S.A.

      Thanks tillsontian!

    • tillsontitan profile image

      Mary Craig 

      7 years ago from New York

      Nice hub with sound advice.

    • BennyTheWriter profile imageAUTHOR

      BennyTheWriter 

      7 years ago from Northeastern U.S.A.

      You're definitely welcome nicred! Thanks for the read!

    • nicred profile image

      nicred 

      7 years ago from Cape Town South Africa

      Great words - So much truth in this hub - Thank You :)

    • BennyTheWriter profile imageAUTHOR

      BennyTheWriter 

      7 years ago from Northeastern U.S.A.

      Sure thing gfalcone! Thanks for reading!

    • gjfalcone profile image

      gjfalcone 

      7 years ago from Gilbert, Arizona

      Feel good hub. Thanks for the pick me up. gjf

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