Confession of an office tea girl
When I go to work sometimes, I often think, what on earth am I doing here? I certainly know that I was called to serve in this organisation, just like a soldier is called to serve his country, I love my organisation but getting past the walls of difficult people frustrates me to the point of quitting my job all together.
If I was not convinced of my calling to serve in this particular organisation, I would have fearlessly kicked my boss ass and left the job a while go. But I have to consider a few things;
First things first, why am I in this particular organisation and not any other organisation? I am in this organization for so many reasons. I joined the organization just when life had dealt me its biggest blow and I was out of job for a while. I had applied to this particular organization before but I was rejected and now, without sending in any application, I was called to bring in my expertise on the difficult task in the organisation. The timing could not have been more perfect for my call to serve.
Second thing to consider, why am I getting frustrated? I am not unhappy with the organization as an institution but I am frustrated with the difficult people who constantly undermine my ability to express my skills in doing my well. How do I solve this puzzle of life? I need to look inward and see how I can get past the abuse of my intelligence, tolerate the difficult people more and take it to the HR clinic if the situation becomes unbearable.
Third thing to consider, have you ever felt God orders your step in the right direction? Well I did, and I am holding on to this job because every time ugly faces raise their heads, my only consolation lies in my conviction that this role was pre arranged and pre ordained by God in this organisation, just for me. God sent me to this organisation to fulfil a need in the organisation and to find a purpose in my life.
You may begin to wander, what exactly generated this frustration in me, apart from the difficult people in the environment, and what exactly is the battle I am facing in my current work environment? I have recently just started to evaluate and take accounts of my work life balance; I realised that most of my start-up colleagues have now been promoted or moved on to doing something that they enjoy doing the most, yet I fell stuck in a rut.
Some of the challenges I am facing are lies on the fact that I am naturally a creative person and analytical in my mind. Doing mundane tasks, such as data entry every day, add no value whatsoever to my skills and potentials. This frustrates me.
Other times, I have been creative in my work and I have gone beyond the call of duty to deliver an excellent result, yet this is not appreciated in anyway rather it is undervalued and tossed aside. Every time this happens, my only consolation is my conviction that I was meant to be here.
Other times, my job has extended from data management to making teas and coffees for my boss and some of the older employees who meets me in the kitchen
How have I dealt with this situation as a Christian? I have wondered for months on how to deal with this situation in the office. Should I tell my boss who constantly undermine my skills, a piece of my mind? Should I change the department for another department where I feel my potential will be maximised and my skills will be well utilised? Or should I just leave the organisation all together? For months, I buried my head down, kept a very low profile and stayed away from my “self righteous” boss, who constantly judges me based on my past experiences.
I have endured and been tolerant. In fact, I have played nicely my Christian role and made it a point of duty to make teas and coffees for my boss every morning. It has come to the point, where my boss orders his teas and coffees in a certain way just like you will order your teas and coffees at Starbucks or at Costa Coffee.I have stayed cleared everybody else associated with his game of constantly embarrassing me in the office and outside of the office as well.
I have also spoken to a few trusted friends about my annoyance and frustrations. I had to spill the beans to one of my colleagues recently, and she made it clear to me that the only place there is a need in the organisation, is in my department. She advises that I cannot just change from one department to another within the organisation without a thorough evaluation of the situation. I thought she did not feel my hurt at all; but she encouraged me to face my fears squarely and perhaps speak to my boss about the situation, I knew this was a waste of time because I had done this in the past and it has not changed anything with my boss, rather, it had given him more power over me.
But above all, I have spoken to God about it; His response? Can you be trusted with a little? Can you be trusted with a little? Up until now, I thought been in this department is just a phase I needed to pass through simply because God knows I needed a long break and that I have a busy schedule ahead. Not for once, did I ever imagined God using this experience to break me down and remould me even in the furnace such as this. God put me in a department so irrelevant to my personal development, just so that I can come out as pure as gold in His image and likeness.
After this confessional moment, my epiphany moment sufficed. I had a quick flash of Abrahams’ journey of life (in the Bible) in my head. There was only one thing Abraham so desired in life and that was to have an heir to his name and inherit his wealth, yet God ‘almost delayed’ this one thing to the latter days of Abraham, while He (God) worked on him and expanded him (Abraham) on many sides. At first, Abraham was told to leave his comfort zone, his father’s wealth, fame and family, to an unknown future and Abraham obeyed. He came out of his father’s house and journeyed to various places where he was a ‘nobody’.
Abraham had to start his life from the scratch, with a little bit of godly wit on his side and the companion of his beautiful wife Sarah; Pharaoh blessed Abraham beyond measure. After the Pharaoh encounter where he almost lost his wife, he continued his journey and obeyed God in everything he was told to do; the result was tremendous until He finally had what He had been waiting for – a child of his own.
Abraham got separated from his nephew, Lot, the only connection to his family, which must have been really hard for him, but the separation brought the promise of God for expansion. After the separation from his nephew, Abraham had to rescue Lot from the hands of the enemy, with this came a great blessing from Melchizedek the prophet. Still in the mood of obedience to God, Abraham did not compromise his standards for the gifts from the king of Salem, he made his stand and refused to be corrupted with the gift, with this came a covenant from God and finally what he had been waiting for, his child.
The lesson for me here, is that Abraham trusted and obeyed God even in the seemingly little or giant steps of his life. The more Abraham trusted God with the little and took a step of faith in obedience to God, the closer he was to his heart desire and the more God blessed and expanded him, God made him an example of what faith and trust in God is really like.
I think this where I need to be and all I have to do is trust God and be diligent in the little things I have been given to do. I hope that after this storm and test, there will be a glorious testimony.
Perhaps, you are in the same situation I am in right now, I will like to encourage you to put your trust in God and never give up. Remember like a mantra, can you be trusted with a little?
Have a great week and stay connected.