- Education and Science
Dating Wisdom: How to know if he likes you
The Happy Couple
It's worth waiting for the right man
My dating wisdom has never been very popular. Because I will tell girls and women what they need to know, not what they want to hear.
I came by these opinions by working with hundreds of men as a hypnotist. I guess you could say my bread and butter comes from knowing how most men tick. Granted, there is that rare breed of fantasy men that are romantic and will notice if you changed your hair or your perfume, and good luck on finding one of them standing next to the fountain of youth surrounded by unicorns. And most men that are like that are gay and not looking for the girl of their dreams.
Think about men for a moment, and their behavior. When a man wants a car or a new suit, or tickets to a sporting event, they are pretty aggressive about going for it.
You don't have to guess whether they like Mustangs or Cameros or BMW's. They will be test driving them, talking about them, buying magazines on them, and hotly going after them.
If you have to guess whether a man is into you or not, he's not. Look at all the time I've just saved you.
Sadly, many men will just move on once they find out you are not an easy lay. Doubly sad, is that if you have sex with them soon after meeting them, they will also move on, because they got all they wanted, which was a romp in the hay.
Here's a sage bit of advice. Never wait for a man to call you, or call you back. Get on with what makes your life exciting. Throw yourself into your career, raise a dog for the blind, give blood, bike across Europe. Don't sit like a taxi with your meter running waiting for a man to call you. Do I have to make you sign a blood oath? Every minute you sit at home waiting for Mr. Indifferent to call you loses you the opportunity at finding a man that is totally into you and will make you feel like the amazing woman that you are.
A friend I admire for his character and chivalry.
Navigating Shark Infested Waters
Men to avoid:
1. Any man you've already left because the relationship didn't work the first, second or third time. Don't be a repeat offender.
2. Men that are womanizers. If he's watching her while eating lunch outdoors with you, you should see a red flag. Also known as skirt chasers and horn dogs.
3. Cave men. At the least sign of trouble, they run to their caves and let you solve the problem alone. They will not be there for you when you need them the most. So ask yourself if you need them at all.
4. Compulsive liars. I once dated a man who forgot to mention he was married. Once, at a meeting, I walked in to find his wife sitting on his lap telling the whole room how her wolfy would never ever cheat on her.
5. Double booked wonders. These are the men with schedules so full you are lucky to see them once in a blue moon. If you find your boyfriend is cancelling every other date, it's time to move on.
6. Cheapskates: I'm not saying a man has to pick you up in a limo and take you out on his yacht. I'm saying if your date is constantly eating off your plate, and making you pick up the tab for everything, you should ask yourself if you really want to be in that relationship five years from now. Do you really want to date someone who wants to park 8 blocks away because they don't want to pay the $5 valet fee? Or worse, turns around and goes home because there is no parking the first lap around the block?
Men with Character
You want a man with character, not a man who is a character.
Look for these traits:
1. Considerate. Doesn't just bring you a coke, but brings your brother one too.
2. Prompt. Doesn't leave you standing at the movie theater entrance, only to arrive 20 minutes after the show started.
3. Career minded but not career obcessed. Makes a decent living, but doesn't work so many hours you start to wonder if he moved to another country.
4. Spiritually compatable.
5. Politically compatable or politically indifferent.
6. Good with children. Even if you don't want to have children, do you really want him snarling every time a child is in the vicinity?
7. Dresses appropriately when it's important. I don't care if he has a blue mohawk and 300 piercings when you are out on the town, but he should be willing and able to tone it down at your grandfather's funeral.
8. Not married to sports unless you are too.
9. Is positive minded and not sarcastic and cynical. Otherwise it will just drag you down over time.
10. Willing to try new things. Beware of control freaks. If you are always doing what he wants and he's rarely willing to do what you want to do, that's a big red flag. I'll never make that mistake again.
11, Slow to anger. This includes road rage. And when he is angry, he expresses it appropriately.
I hope my bit of advice helps. It really is a jungle out there.