Diary of a not so wimpy teacher Volume 2
Here are more of my adventures with the 5th graders. Hope they make you smile.
Starbase bus tales
Yesterday on the way to our weekly Starbase class several of the girls that sat in the seat behind me on the bus kept whispering and ducking their heads behind my seat. Soon they informed me that I had gray hairs.
Me: "Pull them out."
Girls: giggle, giggle, giggle, giggle-"we can't pull them out."
More giggling, laughing, and head bobbing up and down behind my seat.
Me: "If you pull them out you will get a wish."
Me: "Yes, but don't pull out too many at one time."
Girls: giggle, giggle, giggle lots of whispering "you do it-no you do it-not me you do it" then finally "OK"
So for the rest of our 10 minute bus ride 3 girls giggled, plucked hairs from my head, made wishes, then blew the hair away. Upon our return to the classroom:
Girls: giggle, giggle, giggle-"Ms. Cagle you have a hair appointment with us next week on the bus."
The bus rides continue........
As we rode to Starbase the next week my hairdressers sat behind me plucking the gray hair from my head. And as usual LB sat next to me talking non-stop. After tugging a piece of hair from my scalp one of the girls loudly exclaimed, "Ewww!"
I turned around and she stuck the hair in my face, "What is that?" she demanded as she pointed to the white part of the hair root. "Oh, that's just the hair root, it helps hair stay in your head." I replied. Satisfied with my explanation the girl dropped the hair strand and continued her plucking. I noticed that LB had become very quiet and when I looked at him I saw that he was picking up my discarded hair and tucking it into his pocket.
"What are you doing?" I asked him. "Collecting your hair." he replied. "Why, I don't need it anymore." I told him. "I am going to take it home and plant it." he said. Puzzled I inquired, "Why would you do that?" "Because you said it has a root so I am going to put it in soil and water it." "What do you plan to grow?" I asked. "A wig." he answered .
LB motioned me over to his locker this morning before school began. "Do you want to smell something that is really gross?" he asked. "What?" I inquired. "My locker!" he replied with a smile. "Umm no thanks!" I said and walked away. I told his teacher about our interaction. "Oh LB keeps rotten oranges in his locker. He says the smell is soooo bad it wakes him up in the morning."
Later that afternoon on the playground LB's teacher and I approached him about his stinky locker. "Hey LB-you need get those rotten oranges out of your locker," his teacher said "you are going to attract bugs or rats." "Oh, that's o.k.," he replied. "I like bugs and rats." "Why don't we get you something different for your locker with another smell that will wake you up," I offered, "Something that smells like coffee or something like that." "Or a car air freshener," his teacher said under her breath. "One of those green ones?" LB asked her excitedly. "That's what I was thinking," she said. "Oh yeah-that's cool. Get me one of those green air fresheners." I went to Walmart after school and bought him six
What did you learn in school today?
We have been studying about the Revolutionary War for weeks were wrapping up with learning about the Louisiana Purchase. For those of you that don't remember the Louisiana Purchase was the land acquired by Thomas Jefferson from Napoleon Bonaparte. After several lessons about the subject I asked some questions and these were the answers I received:
Me: Who made the Louisiana Purchase?
Them: Benjamin Franklin.
Me: Who was the land purchased from?
Them: Napoleon Dynamite........................wow, who knew?
When asked to identify Virginia on a map one of my girls labeled it Viagra. What the #@&!
The Three Branches of Government
After studying the three branches of government I asked my fifth graders these questions and these were some of the responses:
Me: How does the President get his job?
Them: They executive him………………now I am not sure who “they” are and what they are doing to the President but I hope it isn't too painful.
Me: How do the Supreme Court Justices get their jobs?
Them: The President laminates them…………………Hmmmm no wonder the justices never seem to age in their pictures.