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Divine Acceptance

Updated on July 22, 2012

©2009 Dorothy W. Parker All Rights Reserved

I am a God Chaser, not necessarily the “Tommy Tenney” God Chaser, but I have always sensed and advocated a deep belief in the Divine. I always felt a spiritual depth before I could ever verbalize it or categorize it in any fashion. As time went on, I developed a religious system of beliefs and got further and further away from the innocence I knew as a child. At the ripe old age of forty, I began to sense that urgency once again to become a God Chaser. I realized that organized religion boxed me in and held me captive to a system of beliefs I could no longer hold as true for me. In other words, my beliefs were not resonating properly within my heart.

The message-organized religion preached, became too misleading and abusive at its core. For most people who have not walked in my religious shoes this sounds absurd and crazy. However, as my experience and participation in religion became more prominent; I realized the higher up you go the more messy things are. This can be applied to any system of hierarchy.

When 911 happened, I was stuck in Durban South Africa. I was on lock down at an American hotel, with military guards all around us. The “World Conference Against Racism” (WCAR) was held in Durban, South Africa from August 31st to September 7th 2001; it was a landmark in the struggle to eradicate all forms of racism "requiring a strong follow-up mechanism to examine whether Governments have delivered on their promises made," according to the High Commissioner. It was a conference of actions not just words.

The World Conference was a unique opportunity to create a new world vision for the fight against racism in the twenty-first century. It had just completed and most of the attendees had gotten out and made it safely home. However, I was not home and when I saw the pictures of the 911 terrorist attack in New York, Virginia and Pennsylvania I really wanted to be home. Things were not going so well for me in Durban prior to this incident and the attacks made things worst.

When I look back on my situation, I realize it was a number of issues that pressed hard in my heart and pushed me on this personal philosophical quest. As I watched the television and listened to the speeches by the world leaders, I was sure humanity had transitioned into a new era. American interest all over the world was under attack. Americans were being targeted by Al Qaeda terrorist, I was frightened, and all I could think of was getting home to family and friends. If I was going to die, I did not want to do it in Durban South Africa—not because I had a problem with Africa, but because it was not my home.

While waiting for the American Embassy to tell us we could go home, we had a scare that changed my life forever. All the lights in the entire city went out; I was frightened out of my wits. While waiting for an attack to happen I had an immediate flash back of my life. I was not happy with what I saw. I promised myself when I got home I would not be the same. I had a wakeup call. I challenged every belief I had ever held dear and lived my life by. I needed to know for sure I was living my life, not based on what others told me but according to what I believed. I began searching books and websites and talking to people. I was on a life quest to make my life as simple as possible, so I begin challenging what I believed.

Had I died in South Africa I would have done so living a life that did not express who I believed I really was. What awaited me on the other side I was not sure? I lived my whole life believing in what would happen to me when I died, I forgot about living. I wanted to live and so I began the process that would help me do just that. When I found out I wanted to live I began aligning my life with that purpose. However, one thought plagued me and that was the thought about God.

All my life I had lived a certain way, believing in God and living out that belief within the framework of an organized religious system. Now that I no longer believed in that system, I was lost and so were my ideas about God. I had to find the link between God and me and nurture that link if I was going to enjoy the second half of my life.

How did God feel about me now that I no longer followed a system of beliefs about him? What was my destiny and what would be the consequences of my neglect of organized religion. I was scared but determined and that determination is what carried me through the September 11, 2001 life transforming challenge. I was on a warpath for my spiritual survival. I knew the road I was on was not carrying me to my destiny. Before 9-11, I was in so much turmoil and pain in my life. I always had questions and I was in constant conflict with the religious ideas I was following. I was not happy! I was in constant opposition with “church” rituals. I went to “church” many times with my heart and actions in conflict with one another.

As I challenged what I believed it was overwhelming, I no longer had mixed feelings within; I was finding relief and peace. I talked with people, debated with people, and even asked questions of people. I argued with people and got mad with people, but I never stopped searching. I earned a PhD in Religious Philosophy. I love studying this subject, but applying the ideals, I learned to my life, landed me on a path of no return.

Now I live my life as close to what I believe as I possibly can. When ideas I have held no longer resonate with me I feel free to let it go. I want to be a real life force, living according to my deepest ideals and knowing it is okay to let go of what does not allow me to grow and become a more fulfilled person. I believe this gift of life I have been given is my responsibility and I take that responsibility very seriously.

Divine Acceptance came out of my search. I found the link as I pursued my deepest philosophy about life. Before I was old, enough to adopt a belief system, all things “God” infatuated me.

History records man’s search for God through rituals, sacrifices, worship, sanctification, transformation etc... We still search for that Divine spark within us that will express itself naturally through us. After thousands of years on this planet, we still look for that lasting connection to our inner self. We look for a flow in our spiritual life that blends with our outward expressions. We look to manifest from without that which is within us. However, for centuries, we have looked for outward assistance, thru rituals, or disciplines to help us manifest what I believe should be a “natural occurrence”.

The search for man’s origin and original nature is the core of every religious system, idea, dogma, ritual, and discipline. With all the religions in the world, we still have yet to explore this idea with any real depth. Depth, meaning, when we truly embark on the quest for our true selves we will do so with the understanding that we are not looking for another person we are looking for ourselves.

Life is expressing to us on many different levels our divine nature, by this—I mean a Creator is specifically expressed. In other words, you cannot look for a pattern of Divinity unless you can look at the whole idea behind life and its many meanings. To be Divine is to know you belong here because you are here. You are aware of yourself as a life force in the universe expressing itself through your individual self. You are a part of the whole picture of what it means to be Divine.

What is Divine in you is not a religious idea or a spiritual idea. Your Divinity is the life force that flows through you every day of your life, and when transition comes through death, you will know how significant you are to the entire spectrum of life because you had an opportunity to experience life as “you”.

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