Does Special Education During School Make You who You Are As An Adult
Does Special Education Hold You Back For Life?
Lets begin by giving a small introduction to what I believe special education is. Not a dictionary definition, but a personal experience definition. A program that is used to help children and young adults who seem to have a lack of coping skills and being able to learn in class with the "normal educated kids". Usually put into classes with the "normal coping skill kids" only to be taking out of class during the middle of it once things start to get to complicated. For instance lets say the teacher starts to go over some important notes inside of the book before he/she is about to give out a test on what was just taught. Mostly in the harder difficult classes such as Science, Health, and Math you know the classes that most of us have trouble with being "specially educated" or not. You have one of the special education teachers walk around the class mainly helping the ones that need it of course since the normal kids are typically better off without the extra help. Once the main teacher is done explaining everything important and its time to take the test you normally then see the special education teacher walk out of class. They like to keep all the special children's desk not to far from each other so when it's time for the break out it doesn't look so specious in why 4 kids are suddenly walking out during testing time.
As the teacher is walking row to row passing out the test and telling everybody to close there books and put them in there desk. He then says the only thing that should be out is a piece of scratch paper and the test booklet that's being handed out. They usually have the special education kids sitting together somewhere in the front of the class, "you know so its easier to leave unknowingly when needed to". As the main teacher then approaches us one by one he doesn't pass us a test but tells us to "bring our back packs and books and meet the teacher outside in the hallway. After you see this happen almost on a daily basis you just get used to it. No longer does it even look sneaky anymore just plain obvious. As I walk out the class, head down in all I could just feel the other kids eyes piercing through my skin as I quickly depart the room. The other 4 kids usually don't seem to care as much as I do as if they enjoyed the special treatment they were receiving. I can't speak for them all but that's how it always seemed. All I could think of was the embarrassment I felt and how anger I would get after having to leave in such a ridiculous planned out escape. I felt as if I was naked walking across a football stadium as ever laughed at me. Except the difference between this and that is at a football stadium I would at least of been cheered on and even possibly gained fame from it the way the world is today. It wasn't always such a foolish escape since some Special ed teachers we're very tricky with it. I would get called up by a teacher for a "talk" to tell me I need to report to the nurse and next thing you know there would be my special education teacher standing outside the door.
Even through all this I had lots of friends in school and would even go as far as to say I was popular and lots of people knew me. I was a troublemaker so I guess ignorant things like that make you cool during grade school days. I was the most athletic in my gym class with the highest number of push ups, sit up, pull ups, you name it I was on the board.P.E was always fun to me until of course the book stuff came into play. English was the only class I actually ever seemed to care about and never had a special teacher there standing by my side to embarrass me. Besides literature, my grades were bad and I rarely did homework if ever. So I'm sure you're thinking it's obvious you ended up in special classes. You have to understand that was far from the case. I always knew I was smarter then what I was but I learned differently from the rest. I was very much to myself and independent and felt like I could do everything on my own. Never would I work in groups unless I was truly forced too. I felt I had the better ideas but because I was in a group I was always shut down. So working alone made me feel I could do what I wanted and the results seem to work in my favor.
Although I had so much potential to be a better student I had a lot of things that held me back. Special education students are not always in those program because of there lack of attention, or bad grades. Some of my friends who weren't in special classes did terrible in school and always flunked out. So why weren't they in the same classes with me?. It's because of the one thing you are never shown and is hidden from you for practically all your young adult life until you graduate or leave school. That my friends is a "IEP" if you don't know what that stands for it mean individualized education program. Which targets kids with special needs and disabilities no matter what they may be. All the years I dealt with this I never knew what was actually on my IEP. These are things that are talked about in meetings either with your parents, guardians or amongst the teachers themselves. About why there having these problems and what they can do to make things better for the kid. I found out I had an IEP just in elementary school but never knew what was actually written about me on it. Is it possible that if a kid knows what's written about his own self on that piece hidden paper that's locked away and no key to be found could this make a kid with these needs actually do better? Or maybe they could discuss these needs with these kids because never once were they ever discussed with me not even with family. All my life I thought that I was in these classes to be embarrassed made fun of by passing kids when I was put into special classes with only 6 to 8 kids inside to be made a fool of. To be picked on and told I was dumb by other bullies I was unable to stand up too. Put into a hall during recess when I wanted to play on the tire swing like all the normal kids. Instead it made me angry, lash out on people, fight, curse, and skip school. What was the point of putting in 100 percent when they couldn't be 100 percent with me! All the test I took in classes I basically just guessed on. I never even stopped to the read the test question just circled in b or c. It was F after F on every single test but my report card read all c's. Just so I couldn't be held back and fit in with all the rest of the kids and not look as stupid as everyone else around me. They probably thought I was too "special" to understand that my test scores were altered. I remember in a 11th grade my history teacher would read out everybody's test scores after we were done taking the test before it was time to switch classes. I guessed on every single question and when he read my score out in a stuttering manner he would say "and and and for Jamaal he got he got a 86 which is a B good job". As I giggled to myself because I knew it was a complete load of crap. I decided that was the last straw and started to put my best effort into everything I did for now on. No more pats on the back telling me its okay and you're so intelligent when they never meant it. I decided to show them what I was really about.
Moved on to 12 grade and without the help of any special teachers I passed all my classes. Studied for test, did my homework, paid attention, and always asked questions. No more funny drawings or poetry writings during note taking time it was actual words I needed to jot down for upcoming test. I passed my high school exams during the end of the year and was ready to graduate. I walked the staged grabbed my diploma and moved on with the rest of my life. Made my family proud doing something that I'm sure at first they didn't see happening. I even went as far as almost dropping out in the 10th grade but luckily I had a father to scream at me and make me too scared to do so. I'm very grateful I made it and was able to move on to the bigger test of life. Although I never wanted college for myself I continued to work job to job. Life after special education was rough for me at first I was still in my immature ways and wasn't ready to grow up yet. I even got arrested quite a few times and the ignorance continued on for a few more years to come. It was only until after a few years that I found out why I was in special education and why I had a IEP. It simply read that I was emotional disturbed and didn't do well with others. As I stated before something so simple could have been brought to my attention in a meeting face to face. Why speak of such things behind my back instead of help me work on these things together. Instead I was embarrassed and made to look a fool. Dumb Is something I'm not although stupid was a way I chose to act lot of years in my life. Learning is something I did and accomplished and we learn everyday so here's a answer to the question. "Does Special Education During School Make You who You Are As An Adult?". The answer is simple but very hard to accomplish but its only up to you to get yourself away from that group. Once school is over there's no one there to sit next to you and tell you what you need to do unless you make that choice. Find a way to get help, if its mental problems you face sometimes those are things we're born with and have no way to fix. Learn something new everyday. Take the odds they had against you and flip them the best way you can. Not everybody can do this, some people are really sick and need assistance and that's just the way of life and those are handicaps you can't just fight on your own. Most people in these programs and fully capable of living life on there own without special help. I'm living my life just fine without special help I'm not saying to completely destroy these programs but we need to demolish them and rebuild again. Rethink the whole program itself and stop hiding the issues from these young adults and discuss it with them. maybe that's all it takes.