- Education and Science
Emotional Intelligence: Signs and Behavior of Emotionally Immature Adults
"...immaturity is simply behavior that comes from someone who only thinks of himself or herself."
We often find ourselves contending with someone who is difficult and, in such situations, we might be at a loss for what to do. The first step in dealing with any difficulty is to understand what it is; if you can see it clearly, action is rather simple. But we must be able to see it clearly and understand it. Otherwise, we can't move from square one and are stuck, confused and still, contending with the difficult person.
The difficult person is essentially immature. Now, I don't use that word "immature" in the usual and customary sense. Most people judge maturity according to how much someone conforms to the social and economic order. That is not maturity at all. It could mean the person is the worst of the worst, insensitive, and cruel. In fact, the social order encourages and even coerces people to behave in such a manner, which is the height of immaturity.
So, for our purposes, "immaturity" is simply behavior coming from someone who only thinks of himself or herself. In other words, they are self-centered, self-absorbed, selfish, uncaring, feel they are better, think you are different, and so on.
Also, the use of "emotional intelligence" in the title is not the customary use of that term as used in psychology. The field of psychology tends to use that term to denote the ability to control emotions. I am not talking about that at all. Controlling emotions is another form of psychological disturbance. What I am talking about here in this article is lucidity, to be able to see the illusory nature of thought and pretense, and the behaviors that are their result.
I think you will see what I mean by all this in what follows. We will explore various signs that you are dealing with someone who is immature. Seeing it clearly is enough to take direct action, whatever that might be; I am not going to suggest what you should do about it though. That's up to you. We've had enough following and followers. I am only pointing out facts that will hopefully make it clearer when you are possibly already dealing with or might come across in daily life. Leaving someone, telling them off, or whatever action might be taken is totally something that happens in the moment.
1) Only Concerned With What They Want, Without Consideration of Others
They want everything set up to suit them and never consider the effect on other people. They seek to control their environment in order to fulfill their desires, in spite of the fact that it might be an inconvenience or even a harm to others around them.
2) They Don't Care
Someone who is self-centered cares about what they want and does not care about others. They are not even thinking about you as a human being but see you as an object, at best. If you fulfill their pleasure in some way, then they might take a limited interest in you; but only so long as you satisfy them.
Do you deal with people who never listen?
3) They Don't Listen
They are only concerned with what they think, what they can get, and their own ideas and identity. This means they really won't, even can't, listen. They are blocked by their own selfish thoughts and projections, their identifications, doctrines, and drives. Such a person can't listen or see what someone is saying, and they have no true, whole, and sane comprehension. It's like talking to a brick wall who behaves childishly and could destroy you.
"...they see divisions and differences."
4) They See Objects Not People
They are still using that outdated filter of race, class, and gender. They don't just see human beings, but they see divisions and differences, and compare and weigh worth according to such archaic ideas. They see your status and favor those who are of a higher class than you and devalue your worth. They are simplistic in perspective, forced to categorize and label people, rather than seeing them directly and clearly because their perception is totally hampered by their lack of clarity and intelligence. This is the politicization of everything and the inability to be a simple human being because such a person has a complex and illusory identity filled with their fabricated and borrowed ideologies. Pure nonsense, yet commonplace.
They worship some people as heroes and become followers. They see others as subservient and so become overbearing. All due to their fantasies.
Story of Someone Unaware That He Is Full of Himself
5) They Avoid the Truth
If you call them on something, they are sure to deflect it, divert it, make excuses, or pretend they understand—and then continue their abusive behavior. They are impossible, stubborn for all the wrong reasons, and are completely toxic. Get away from their poison (which is them). They will hold on to their fantasies for dear life because their fantasies are them and their security. You exposing them for what they are makes them put up their defenses, and they'll never put them down. Say bye to the bad guy and move on.
6) They Refuse to Seriously Consider Deeper Matters
Oh, there you go again, talking about the human mind, human behavior, and the mysteries of existence. They are thoroughly bored. They want to watch TV where they can see their favorite celebrities and favorite personalities. They are still thrilled by the manipulations of their base and simplistic emotions and would rather have the excitement of fighting with you than understanding themselves clearly. If you're smart, these are the people you avoid. They are shallow and full of themselves, will take you for what they want and what you have, drain you and try to confuse you. They are the thrill seekers that don't mind ruining lives for their own pleasure. Avoid them like the plague.
So, hopefully this article has presented you with enough pointers to spot the immature personality and what they do so that you can avoid them, stop them, or do whatever you must for your own health and well-being.