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Making Love Having First Time Sex

Updated on April 12, 2012

The First Time

Although making love is one of the most natural of human instincts, we find it difficult to talk about openly and honestly, we get embarrassed at the mere mention of the word sex and although we want to know more, we keep silent about it for fear of offending or embarrassing others.

For most of us the first time we actually learn a little about sex is in high school, either in Biology class or in a sexual awareness class.

These classes teach us as teenagers about the changes to our bodies during puberty and the basic mechanics of what to do during sexual intercourse, they also teach us, how to prevent pregnancy and sexually related disease through the use of contraception and outline the various methods of contraception.

It is what these classes don't tell us that interest us most, questions that will remain unanswered until we actually experience sexual intercourse with a partner personally.

After the classes the liars start to crawl out of the woodwork, with all sorts of claims about their sexual prowess, I've slept with xxx and it was fantastic we did this and that and the other, blah, blah, blah.

These are the people who make us uncomfortable with ourselves and our bodies because we actually believe their claims, they are having sex a thousand times a week and I can't even get a girl to look at me. It is the people who tell all of these tall tales about a make believe sex life, that make us feel inadequate and insecure about ourselves.

What is wrong with me? Why can't I get a girl? What has he got that I haven't?

Do I smell? Am I ugly? Am I too fat? Am I too tall? Am I too short?

The more claims they make the more you believe and the more of their claims that you hear the more your self-confidence dwindles.

The truth is that the nearest these guys have ever got to a naked woman is through one of their dads magazines hidden under his bed or in a movie, the stories they tell probably also come from the same magazine or movie.

90% of the very few high school pupils who have actually had sex with a partner will not talk about it with anyone but the partner they shared the moment with. Sexual intercourse is a private and personal experience between the two people involved and talking about the experience with others is a big no no.

The First Time

Losing your virginity is often a big let down and it can leave you wondering what all the fuss was about, you get over excited and before you know it, it is over just as it was about to begin.

You and your partner are both nervous and a little bit scared, you are frightened that you will hurt her and she is frightened of the same, thoughts race through your head at a thousand miles an hour and then realisation sets in I am going to do it; at last I am going to have sex, at this point you lose all control of your brain and you rush everything and the moment you lost your virginity is over in seconds.

The first time is meant to be special but it is often spoiled, because we seem to be in a great hurry we get so excited that we are actually going to have sex that we get carried away with it.

Make it that special moment you dreamt about

To make the first time as special as you have always wanted it or dreamt it to be, you need to learn a little self control, start with gentle kissing and caressing, take your time, sex isn't just about intercourse, explore your partners body with your fingers and lips find out where your partner likes to be touched or kissed, take your time be gentle and don't be in any hurry, you will both know when it is time for intercourse to begin.

Again I can't stress enough try to be relaxed and take your time, contain your excitement and you will have a great memory of your first time that will last you for the rest of your life.

Sex is always a learning experience as well as a pleasurable one the more you learn about your partners likes and dislikes before, during and after sex the better your sex life will become.

Masturbation

Masturbation is a natural way of self-pleasuring, it teaches you where you like being touched and how much pressure you should apply for maximum pleasure, it also teaches you how to control ejaculation, which is a big plus and helps to increase the pleasure of a healthy sexual relationship.

Safe sex

I am a great believer in safe sex, please, please, please use a condom not only will it prevent any little surprises 9 months later, a condom will also protect you from sexually transmitted diseases and Aids.

IMPORTANT

Just because a girl likes you does not mean that she wants to jump into bed with you if she says no at any time then it is time to stop what you are doing.

If she is not ready yet, don't be angry with her and show her some respect and understanding, don't try to pressure her in to it when she is ready she will let you know.

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    • profile image

      Grace 13 months ago

      i really heard ur advises and thank you so much but iam really confused about having sex with him while he is going to get married to someone else

    • trusouldj profile image

      trusouldj 3 years ago from Indiana

      Interesting hub. Thanks for sharing your opinion. Sex is such a mystical, magical thing, no matter how you view it. I guess that's why the young adults in my fiction are always being overcome with it.

    • profile image

      Wait... 5 years ago

      i am 14 years old and i found your hub very helpful...thanks jimmy. i had planned on having sex with this real nice guy i know but now i relize i shouldn't and that i should wait...and that i was totally out of my mind to even think i should. it just isn't worth it...so thanks jimmy. u just gave me that little push to saying...no. :D

    • ossama profile image

      ossama 6 years ago

      awesome hub.

    • profile image

      XxDASFExX 6 years ago

      I think that this is really use full information for us teens. Well im in the 8th grade nd well wat guys mostly think about is having sex wit every girl they see. Nd well we can really use this tips cuz well i know talking about sex is a big no no but well our parents have the fault for not talking to us about it.Nd well jimmy great hub.

    • mojefballa profile image

      Ikeji Chinweuba 6 years ago from Nigeria

      Interesting piece of article which has much advice for our youths.Thanks for this article.

    • profile image

      Extenze 6 years ago

      Another good hub, Jimmy! Patty's comment is pretty scary though!

    • profile image

      shinutv2010@yahoo.com 7 years ago

      it is very good advice

    • VampireAlice profile image

      VampireAlice 7 years ago

      so not true im 17 and i dont think about sex

      if you put the thought in my head then i will

      think about it. but im not thinking about sex.

      Im still a virgin and i plan to keep it that way until i find the right man

    • profile image

      sweepysweethart 8 years ago

      Very nice. I finde it helpful I am 25 and have never had sex. But I wonder so much what it is like. Yet I will not have it just for fun I have to be in love first. Since that may never happen I wonder so much what it is like. I wonder what it feels like. I have asked a lot of my friends but they realy can't give much detail to it.

    • profile image

      Free Sex Tutorials 8 years ago

      I think first time sex should be do with a care

    • sufyan_majeed profile image

      Sufyan Majeed 8 years ago from karachi

      youngers are always think about sex!!!!!

    • profile image

      Ali 8 years ago

      nice hub

    • jimmy03 profile image

      jimmy03 8 years ago from NY

      Nice article.....

      I Like it

    • profile image

      gwe 8 years ago

      careful kids i lost my virginity at 12

    • profile image

      13YearOldVirgin 8 years ago

      Jimmy, this is a great article. I know, I am in the 7th Grade, that a lot of boys in my class think about having sex with me and my friends. That's all they think about!!! Someone even thinks that I had sex with this really popular kid in school named Alex, so now, they all track me down in the hallway. Don't be pressured, or anything, (even if other kids are doing it in the school) just wait for the right time for yourself and your partner.

    • profile image

      diya 8 years ago

      it is good not bad...but it could hv been much better.....

    • profile image

      die hard 8 years ago

      hmmmm, this isn't a bad article, in fact, this is pretty true.

    • profile image

      die hard 8 years ago

      hmmmm, this isn't a bad article, in fact, this is pretty true.

    • JPSO138 profile image

      JPSO138 8 years ago from Cebu, Philippines, International

      definitely a great article.

    • profile image

      fran 8 years ago

      how do you sex is good hum!

      but how do you known!

    • profile image

      ashley. 8 years ago

      sex, sex, sex. that's the only thing kids thiink about anymore.

    • profile image

      joula_vegh 8 years ago

      That's nice but do hav condomn b4 taking any risk.......n realy very exoctic

    • anime_nanet profile image

      anime_nanet 9 years ago from Portugal

      Great hub. Very informative. Too bad young people don't listen to these advices often. I don't doubt the accuracy of some of the studies maddy and patty talk about. Either in civilized or in-ways-of-development countrys some things never change - immaturity and irresponsability are one of them - but most of the time it's because there isn't enough information on the subject (or it isn't handled well) - and parents are also to blame on this.

    • Niche Content profile image

      Niche Content 9 years ago from BiContinental

      Great advice for the about-to-be deflowered.

    • profile image

      Medical Alert Calling Systems 9 years ago

      Very interesting and useful hub. Thanks for the tips!

    • soul dragon profile image

      soul dragon 9 years ago

      i think this is an excellent form for all first timers pity they didn't have the net when i lost my virginity

    • sjxavier profile image

      sjxavier 9 years ago

      useful tips for youngers!!!!!!

    • ElatedState profile image

      ElatedState 9 years ago from Edmonton

      Great hub, I think legitimate informative hubs on the topic are a much better use of the internet regarding sex than the 'other' one. It scares me to think about how many people who are out there having bad sex. For first timers I would recommend that after your girl is ready and you have made and had that first special moment, don't turn the heat completely off... Keep with the cuddling and light foreplay (back massage , give her (and you) a little bit of time, and then see if she wants to do it again. I don't know HOW many girls have told me that their first time they hated it but the second time they loved it because there wasn't as much (if any) pain that time around, and the fact that there was no more pressure for it to be the 'perfect first time'. Sex between partners will get exponentially better after their first time with each other, so if you leave her with the 'first time' experience she is probably more likely to develop a jaded attitude towards sex, rather than developing a healthy sexual appetite.

    • profile image

      mAx_MeNthOL 9 years ago

      you've done great. keep up the good work jimmy...

    • ulises profile image

      ulises 9 years ago

      good advice. I am new to this hub thinggy, check my stuff if you can

    • profile image

      troyal_77 9 years ago

      im from the philippines, and i always want to have sex

    • teeray profile image

      teeray 9 years ago from Canada

      Awesome, honest, funny where appropriate, great hub, JimmytheJock! This is a refreshing look at a sometimes overblown topic. Way to go. People of all (reasonable) ages will enjoy this one.

    • profile image

      Oldguy 9 years ago

      Nowadays you need not wait for anybody's guidannce or help. You can get all you want and more about A-Z of sex from the Internet. It's just a click away.

    • profile image

      ink 9 years ago

      Another good hub, Jimmy! Patty's comment is pretty scary though!

    • lovemeanddie1988 profile image

      lovemeanddie1988 9 years ago from waynesville

      hey well im 19 and I want to have sex but just waiting for the right person

    • Patty Inglish, MS profile image

      Patty Inglish 9 years ago from North America

      Hi Maddie -- Within the last several years, I assisted with a study of young adults in the work place at a major insurer. The overwhelming majority of employees ages 18 - 24 believed that if they drank alcohol, it killed the AIDS virus and they therefore needed no protection.

      Yes, it is astounding. I'll look at your study!

    • Maddie Ruud profile image

      Maddie Ruud 9 years ago from Oakland, CA

      Thanks for stressing safe sex, Jimmy.

      I'm currently working for E. Jean Carroll (of Elle magazine), helping her with a Facebook application meant to gather data on college sex, and the preliminary results are astounding.  67% of those who took the survey reported they do not use a condom the first time they have intercourse with a new partner.  Frightening.  Simply jaw-dropping.

      For those interested, the survey can be taken on Facebook at

      http://apps.facebook.com/fukindex

    • tinyteddy profile image

      tinyteddy 9 years ago from INDIA

      hi that's nice but there are lots of scientific things about sex that is brought out you can watch out for my scientific sex facts soon to be released

    • Susan Ng profile image

      Susan Ng Yu 9 years ago from Cebu, Philippines

      You are quite right. Talking about sex is a big no-no especially in a conservative predominantly Catholic country like mine. What's ironic is that young people probably wouldn't be rushing into it so much if they talked more about it and learned more about it.

    • Ellie McHale profile image

      Ellie McHale 9 years ago from Menlo Park

      w00t!

    • dandee profile image

      dandee 9 years ago

      wowowe

    • Ralph Deeds profile image

      Ralph Deeds 9 years ago from Birmingham, Michigan

      For a brutal example of "first time sex" (and second and third time) see Ang Lee's "Lust, Caution."

    • Paul Edmondson profile image

      Paul Edmondson 9 years ago from Burlingame, CA

      No doubt, Jimmy is a great guy!

    • Isabella Snow profile image

      Isabella Snow 9 years ago

      Jimmy, thank you, you are so sweet! :)

    • jimmythejock profile image
      Author

      James Paterson 9 years ago from Scotland

      Isabella, it would be great if you published a hub from a female perspective, i am a great fan of your writing, please email me when you do and i will add a link on this page.....jimmy

    • Rmnathan profile image

      Rmnathan 9 years ago from Sharjah

      Good advice for youngsters. I hope they will take it seriously and benefit from it.

    • Isabella Snow profile image

      Isabella Snow 9 years ago

      Cool hub, Jimmy! I have to smile because I have an article on virginity coming out in Nov - you beat me to it, you must be my psychic twin! ;)

    • VickeyK profile image

      VickeyK 9 years ago

      Great hub--and almost all the words are equally true for girls, if memory serves me right.

    • livelonger profile image

      Jason Menayan 9 years ago from San Francisco

      Great advice, Jimmy.

    • Stacie Naczelnik profile image

      Stacie Naczelnik 9 years ago from Seattle

      Nice hub. I'd also like to add that after her first time, it is normal for a girl to sort of draw into herself. She probably won't want to try again for a couple of days, but don't worry: she will want to try again. I remember being 19 and talking with my friends about how they portray the "first time" in movies and how silly it is: it is normal for girls to be cautious.