Get an Online Degree from the University of Feenix

Welcome to the University of Feenix!

Here at the University of Feenix, we strive to provide you with resources, encouragement, inspiration, enthusiasm, and logo T-shirts just like any other real college. We help you make your dreams come true, as long as those dreams don't actually involve getting dressed and going to class. Yes, the University of Feenix is an 'online college'. What does that mean?

Online degree colleges, besides having an immense profit margin, offer opportunities for non-traditional students to matriculate at an accredited institution of higher learning while retaining their nocturnal dressing apparel. In other words, you can get a college degree in your underpants. Is The University of Feenix a good fit for you?

Ask yourself these questions:

• Is an online degree from the University of Feenix right for me?
  
• Am I afraid to look people in the eye?
• Do I, or a close family member, have a lot of cash lying around?
• Do I have a really nice computer monitor?

Wow, you ask a lot of questions.

Anyway, The University of Feenix almost certainly has a place for you. Our classes never fill. You'll never be locked out. Every class is 'virtual'. The word virtual is a complex computer-science term implying that the 'desks' and 'chairs' and 'labs' and 'actual buildings' only exist in your mind. Everything else is real, including the tuition bill that arrives well in advance of your first day of virtual coursework.

Here at the The University of Feenix we understand that your real life may intrude on your ability to get out of bed and walk/trudge/crawl to your computer. To that end, we have developed the Virtual Online Independent Discipline program to help you achieve your online degree. When you enroll in VOID, you have complete freedom to attend 'class' when your schedule permits. Take up to 10 years to graduate with no penalty. If you find yourself too busy chatting online with friends in Pago Pago to click the University of Feenix icon on your desktop, simply take a Virtual Incomplete and finish the course later, like when you finally realize that working the drive-through at McDonald's isn't going to get you that Mini Cooper you've been wanting.

The University of Feenix boasts a panoply of accomplished alumni. If we had a Student Union, you would be welcome to stop by and meet some of them. They would greet you warmly with a sincere handshake. Some of them are always looking to hire new grads for the multimillion dollar high tech start-up they are launching. They always inquire as to your experiences at The University of Feenix:

"Did you have any trouble finding your classes? Isn't parking a pain?"

That's an inside joke. You'll understand after you become one of us.

Don't put it off; classes are filling quickly. Not really.