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Guilty of Being Maria's Mom Only!

Updated on November 20, 2013

Trip down Maria Lane!

First bday on her fellow Bday Grandma's lap her favorite place to be!
First bday on her fellow Bday Grandma's lap her favorite place to be!
Baby Model before one with her favorite natural pose.
Baby Model before one with her favorite natural pose.
Am I wrong for wanting to make ponytails?
Am I wrong for wanting to make ponytails?
Baby America!
Baby America!
Looking like her grandma!
Looking like her grandma!
Someone loves the camera!
Someone loves the camera!
Looking like her aunt Jacey!
Looking like her aunt Jacey!
Hear her roar!
Hear her roar!
Maybe she gets her silly side from Mommy!?
Maybe she gets her silly side from Mommy!?

How would you react to this situation?

How would you react to toxic teaching from teachers?

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GUILTY UNTIL PROVEN INNOCENT

Yes, I am guilty as charged. What are the charges brought against me? Well, I am accused of being Maria's Mommy! Well some might say, that's not a bad thing. There should be more parents willing to be parents to their children. In this instance, I was so caught up in being Maria's mom I saw no one, but Maria in her school. Not to say, that I did not interact with other kids in her school and acknowledge their presence. I did, but I didn't allow their plights and struggles to be voiced on a broader context.

I saw injustices and I did inform the principal of what I saw, but what I should have done was take it to the parents and others in the PTO. Why didn't I? My number one focus was making Maria the best Maria she can be. Is it working? I would say so. Maria came into this world as a 2.4 pound baby and from the moment I knew of her I nurtured her from listening to Mozart and other music in the womb and reading to her.

When she was in the NI-CU being there everyday even against what my body was telling me, because I knew she needed me and she was most important always. To me there was no sacrifice too great for my Maria. The doctors said, she would likely be behind other kids due to her low birth weight. They also said she wouldn't cry when she was born, because her lungs weren't fully developed.

I watched Maria defy their logic time and time again from the starts she cried as soon as they lifted her from my stomach. She lifted her head up and down while in the NI-CU, she reacted to my reading and music. She reacted to the music to the point that they told me she couldn't listen to music, because she danced to it and they were afraid she would lose weight.

She was only in the NI-CU for a month. She was 4.6 pounds when she left without so much as a machine, but only a diaper rash. I watched her during her NI-CU stay learn things so fast, there were babies up there 5 and 6 pounds that could not do the things she did. She was a miracle.

Once she was out the NI-CU, I watch her developmentally do things that her pediatrician could not conceive. She thought I was not being true, until Maria showed her. Now Maria is a five year old kindergartner who reads on a first grade level and I'm sure she will be on a second grade level by the end of the year. She is a true inspiration and a sweet gentle spirit. She is so helpful, caring, and considerate of others.

She teaches me so much daily, she has no idea. That is why I sit mesmerized as this little lady in the making. She is ob-er smart and talented. She dances, sings, and entertains daily. She says she wants to be an actress, singer, and doctor, which is fine with me. I at that age wanted to act and a be a doctor, so the sky's the limit my princess.

She is willing to learn and teach others. So, that's why I am guilty, I was so wrapped up in Maria that I couldn't be an active advocate for them. Children can not control a lot of things that happen around them. As it relates to school, children should be allowed to be in an environment conducive to their betterment not belittlement.

Maria had to be moved from a toxic educational environment, several other of her classmates were moved as well. I have guilt that in that other children were left in that environment and I feel powerless to change it, because I am only Maria's parent. Maria said to me, "Mommy, I got to get my best friend Carolyn, out of that class. It is so much better in my new class. We learn a lot. I love my teachers we even get to go outside for recess."

She really means it too! I thought of letting Carolyn's mom know how toxic that environment is and the effects it has on the kids in first grade, they will either repeat kindergarten or be behind in first grade. I witnessed it first hand. The teacher is very old, in fact she taught when I was in kindergarten, however, she has practices that are toxic to education.

I do not want to bandage the situation. I feel for all parties, but because one person is unable to retire for financial situations or not that is not my business, my first and foremost concern is for the children and their environment. I remember when I told my cousin who Maria's teacher was she said, "Get her out of that class immediately!" We had to learn and experience for ourselves, but she was correct.

To me, I need to be a voice for those children who may not be able to express or articulate their grievances. I tried to get around this needless to say. When I witnessed children struggling I brought in a leapfrog system that aids children in writing letters. She said to me, "You sure you want to give this to them. I can't be responsible for it working." I told her it didn't matter I just wanted them to have an aid to help them form their letters. I would get it back at the end of the year.

Sadly, she didn't even allow them to use it. I tried to work with her and she knocked me down each time, so at that point I removed Maria. It was too much of a toxic environment for Maria to even try to thrive in. How do you have a child in your class that reads on a first grade level and you do nothing to foster that or even inform her parents? So after a discussion with her Dad, who says, "You better handle it!" I did was best and Maria is free to learn.

Day one a little boy, says to me, "Maria is going to have so much fun! She is going to like this class!" It has been that way and I now want to emancipate the other children we left behind. Some of which I saw in after school programs because they are struggling to keep up. So as I stand guilty, my sentence is having the strength and courage to take on this platform in a more adult setting.

So far, I have become more involved for others and I have taken step one of a group of many steps that lead to greater ad-vocation for many children. I will be guilty of this crime until I prove my true advocacy for this little future leaders, so that they make it over this hurdle in their educational journey.

MEANDMARIA ARE MEANTTOBE

MARIA MARIA, THE SONG HER PEDI AND NURSE SING TO HER EVERY VISIT

QUESTIONS, ANSWERS, AND COMMENTS!

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    • brittvan22 profile image
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      brittvan22 3 years ago from Atlanta, Georgia

      Thank you MsDora for your wonderful insight. I agree with you 100% sometimes others plights seem invisible until they are brought into the forefront of our lense usually from someone close.

    • MsDora profile image

      Dora Weithers 3 years ago from The Caribbean

      So thoughtful of you to remember the other children. It is your love for Maria that is extended to the others, so being such a great mom to her makes you an asset to everyone else. All the best going forward!