How to Keep from Laughing During Sex Ed Classes
I remember the sixth grade health class. Mrs. Harrison slapped up posters of the female and male reproductive systems and people started snickering instantly. Things only got worse when the cheesy health movies came on, and no one could erase the memory of her using a banana to demonstrate how to use contraception.
I get it. It's hard not to laugh during sex education class. Despite the fact that everyone lets a chuckle escape their lips sometime during the course of the curriculum, no one wants to be the one who can't stop laughing. Somehow it seems...dorky- as if you don't understand the birds and the bees.
Have no fear. By the time you are done with this article, you will have no trouble holding your laughter inside.
Prepare ahead of time
Have you ever watched a funny movie too many times? I have. The first time it is hilarious because you aren't expecting the jokes. The second time it's still funny because you are anticipating the jokes. The third time it is still funny, but you don't belly laugh quite as hard. The fourth, fifth, and then sixth time, you are wondering what was so funny in the first place.
The same goes with sex education. You have to get geared up for it- read the books, watch the movies- and make it so it is so predictable, you know what's coming next. In order to do this, you have one of two options:
1. Go to the library and rent any and all cheesy sex education movies and books. Get accustomed to the cartoon drawings, the flowery language, and the horrible production.
2. Ask your health teacher if you can borrow her supplies for an extra credit project. She might think you are on drugs and send you to the principal, but if you can pull it off with a straight face, she could acquiesce.
Avoid eye contact with your friends
This seems obvious but is your first and primary defense against busting a rib in laughter. Stop looking at your friends! Avoid their strange faces, raised eyebrows, and goofy grins. Better yet, sit in the front row so you won't be tempted to stare them down when Mr. Garris says the word "erection".
Get to know your teacher
Sometimes it isn't the material that elicits the laughter, but the person who is communicating it to us. If you have the idea that this person shouldn't ever speak of sex or reproduction because they are just too strange, well you might have a hard time keeping a straight face when they do.
Think about it. When your friends talk about sex, you don't cringe or throw up in your mouth, but when an adult does, you might. If you spend a little time getting to know your teacher as a person, it might not seem so awkward and strange to hear him or her talk about it in front of the class.
Gross yourself out
If all the above doesn't work, you may find the only way to not laugh is to think sickening thoughts that give you the creeps. Focus on something that is unpleasant about what the teacher is saying- perhaps ovaries look like the rotten kiwi you ate for lunch- and the laughter should stay at bay.
While your teacher is talking, take out a piece of paper and a pen and aimlessly doodle on your notebook. This does two things. One, it keeps you from making eye contact with others. Two, doodling is a way to keep the body busy when absorbing information. For example, some kids find that chewing gum during a test helps them to concentrate.
Now don't go doodling a penis or your laughter will come bubbling up. Rather, doodle flowers, a cat, a dog, whatever. Something that forces your brain to think about the image while simultaneously absorbing the information about how to avoid an STD. You'll be less likely to laugh.
Strike a deal
Don't arrange this in school okay? It's against the rules.
Get your friends together and set the parameters. The first person to laugh owes everyone a dollar. Or maybe you all put $5.00 in a jar and at the end of the curriculum unit, whoever kept a straight face the whole time gets the money.
When you put something on the line (like money or other freebies), you'll find you have a lot more motivation to stop laughing...or in this case, never start laughing.
Did you make it through health class without laughing?
If all else fails...
You may need some private acting classes. Sometimes, it is just too hilarious for the amateur. Find an acting instructor and get the best Broadway can offer you. If you work hard, you might be able to endure a sex education without laughing.
Then again, maybe not. Maybe sex education is supposed to include laughter. The whole thing is rather funny. That is my only other piece of advice. When you stop trying so hard to not laugh, you might realize that a few chuckles are better than the immense energy you'd have to expend trying not to laugh.