How to Relate to Money
Money is a sensitive topic to almost everyone. As I write only by experience, I had to go to the depths of my perception of money in order to get here, to this article. So I will begin with this story. I did not originate it but I am using it as a tool to illustrate a point.
A long time ago, in a kingdom far far away a King got tired of his long time Queen. Oh there are so many young and beautiful princesses who would jump at the chance to be queen. He could have as many concubines as he wanted but there can only be one queen. The Queen, although older, is still beautiful in form but also a wise one. She knew of her husband’s restlessness and knows full well that it will pass. The king was so enamored with a young and beautiful princess who would not let him make her a concubine. She wanted to be queen so she told the king that her price was the Queens’s crown. The king wanted this princess and so foolishly, he wanted to get rid of the Queen who had been with him through all times. Indeed there was no one more faithful, kind, and wise and had it not been for her wise advice, he would have lost the kingdom many times over. Still he forgot. He wanted the young and beautiful princess.
Although in his heart he still loved the queen, the King thought, oh she is so old and my sons will be very happy to have her in their own castles and I can live with my young queen forever. He thought of the best way to get rid of the old Queen was to offer her half the Kingdom if she wanted. A small price to pay. He was more than rich, his descendants and the people would be more than provided for. The palace coffers were full.
So one night the king told the queen “I am in love with this beautiful young Princess, and I want to make her Queen. I wish you to leave the palace and go and live with one of our sons. Half the kingdom is yours and you are welcome to take anything from the Palace as you desire, and he ordered the scribes to write it as his proclamation. When I wake up in the morning, I shall declare to the people that you have abdicated your crown and I shall proclaim the new queen and he left to spend the night in another room, delighted that he would have a new Queen the following morning.
At midnight, he was awakened from his sleep for he felt the bed move! When he opened his eyes, he saw that the strongest men in the palace were carrying him out of the palace! Furious, he demanded an explanation at which time the Queen appeared. And she said “O King, according to your words last night which you proclaimed an order last night, I am allowed to take anything from the palace that I desire. I desire no gold, no more than the clothes that I am wearing and a few other belongings, but when I married you, I gave you my heart and it is what I desire back the most, for no riches, no glory, no title shall take the place of my love for you. Therefore I decided it is you I will take with me when I leave the palace.”
The King realized how foolish he had been and begged the Queen for forgiveness. And they grew old together. And the kingdom flourished even more.
I have never been tempted with money so I cannot tell you what I would do if it were to happen. I do know that I resented the unwritten caste system in the Philippines that pegs people into categories according to their economic status. Money is a means, no more. On the other hand, a long time ago, I could have been tempted with both fame and power until I knew what power is. In the story, I would have been the young Princess when I was young but now I am old and know better.
So now that that is done and over with, let us discuss how you can change the way you look at money.
First, wealth is a state of mind. In the story the Queen will always be queen regardless of what she has and she knew it. You need to think about this. Who you are inside is not defined by the outside circumstances in your life. A simple truth: To have something, anything, you have to want it.
Second, you have your own combination of unique talents that you can use to create what it is that you want. Your task is to define that combination of talents and use them to create the money that you want. It is the other way around. First define what you want in terms of lifestyle then, you create the circumstances that will allow you that lifestyle. You might find that you do not necessarily need to have a lot of money to have that lifestyle.
Third, you follow your thoughts and ideas with action.
Fourth you enjoy every moment in the journey.
Exercises:[Note: These are a few methods which I have used with my coaching clients. One couple acquired a 17 acre piece of property after simply defining what they wanted. Another person bought the home of his dreams. It takes discipline to do it but it works]
1. Take the largest bill with you window shopping and decide “Oh look at those shoes on sale for x amount of money. If I WANTED, I could buy it.”
2. Give to some cause that you feel strongly about, or to someone who cannot give back to you.
3. Find out where your money goes and reallocate it to have the following: You will need identical containers labeled with the following. You will need to put coins in every container every day for 40 days. If you miss one day, you have to start all over again.
a. Charity. You cannot give what you don’t already have. When you give to someone who cannot give back it means you are more than rich enough to give. Now, a caveat. Please do not give unless your heart tells you to do so. It is better not to give if in so doing you will feel poor. When you give the feeling should be I am happy I am able to give.
b. Savings. Only to the extent that it will discipline you into putting something away and you will see the balance increase every month. This is what the banks need to see when you want to make a major purchase such as a house, an apartment complex, etc.
c. Necessities. You need this for food, shelter, gas, insurance, your child’s summer camp.
d. Investment. Long term wealth requires that you do some kind of investment. You decide this for yourself.
e. Education. You need to constantly educate yourself about wealth. Study wealth. Study the people who have accumulated it.
f. Travel. To expand your horizon, meet other people.
g. My one heart’s desire. It does not matter what it is. An Aston Martin? A Bulgari necklace? A Chalet in Switzerland? You have to put yourself in the state of having it and this will remind you of it.
h. For the child within something that will make you happy immediately.
4. Find out how you can have multiple sources of income. Use your specific talents and skills to do something that will reward you not only with satisfaction but also monetarily
5. Be happy with where you are and then build from there. This is what gratitude is about. The fact that you are reading this is already something to be happy about.
6. Above all else, be kind to yourself. Know that every challenge that you face, including financial challenge is an avenue to self development. I know this as truth.
© 2009 by Melinda M. Sorensson