How to Take out the Garbage
Introduction to Garbage Taking out
It piles up and tends to stink. Garbage needs to be taken out. Herein we introduce techniques and practices for transferring household detritus from residential temporary containers to high-capacity garage-based vessels.
You can do this! Stand up to your trash. Fight back against your filth. Put your pigpen in its' place. Yuck belongs in a big stinky bird-infested landfill sufficiently far away that you can't smell it. No one deserves a pile of detritus in the back yard, unless they move in after the detritus has accumulated, but that's a political issue for another debate. This debate has only one side: take out the trash.
Follow our simple steps to freedom from garbage. It's easy. Anyone can do it.
Step 1: Find your garbage repository
In order to take out your garbage, one must locate one's garbage. As the old bromide says: "One man's trash is another man's treasure." For the purposes of this analysis, we assume that trash is easily identifiable and stored in a centralized location in the primary living quarters. Trash that is widely distributed or not contained in a standardized refuse vessel is not considered in this treatise.
Step 2: Verify garbage eligibility
In general, garbage should fill or nearly fill the primary garbage container before taking out the trash is a viable alternative. Special conditions such as excessively smelly trash or an imminent vacation should also be taken into consideration. We leave this exercise to the reader.
Verify that taking out the trash is a viable option
Step 3: Remove the inner liner and seal properly
Remove the inner liner from the inner rigid container and seal it with a proper closure device. We prefer a twist tie, but several other possibilities such as rubber bands, twine, and fishing line are also reasonable. Tying a knot in the inner liner container may be considered, if the container is not over-filled and the domestic engineer demonstrates proper knot typing expertise.
Don't neglect the knot. Under no circumstances should you or any other garbage processing technician attempt to transport the bag before securing it properly. Undesirable refuse spillage could result. A HazMat may become necessary, depending on what was discarded and the level of intrusion exercised by local authorities.
Properly seal the inner liner
Step 4: Transfer the inner liner to the garage-based vessel
After properly sealing the inner liner, move the package to the proximity of the garage-based container. This strategy is highly preferable to relocating the garage-based container.
Specialized intermediate garbage containers can be obtained at "Big Box" stores such as Home Depot and Lowe's. This recommendation should not be considered to be an endorsement of either vendor. We here at the Institute for the Painfully Obvious are non-profit in almost every sense of the word.
Step 5: Combine the inner liner and the garage-based container
Elevate the inner liner and combine with the current contents, if any, of the garage-based container.
Step 5: Combine two trash containers
Conclusion and Future Work
Garbage has been identified, captured, transported, and reassigned to a macro container in a less inhabited region of the house.
This process can be repeated as needed and modified according to specific domestic requirements.
Future work would include adapting the taking-out-the-trash process to deal with trash in different parts of the house and defining techniques for moving the garage-based container to the curb for further processing by professional garbage engineers. This work may be continued by interested parties as long as proper attribution is provided.