How to do nothing? 10 tips to master the art of doing nothing
Learn how to do nothing with this satirical yet very helpful guide on the art of doing nothing.
1) Find a place
If you want to do nothing, the first thing you will need to do is find a place. Of course, you just can't walk up to any place and do nothing, can you? Find a cool place that is preferably empty, whether it is your friend's apartment, your very own basement or an empty garage.
You thought you can do nothing for free? In your dreams! To do nothing, you will need supplies of food, water and much more to keep you going. So decide on the amount of money you are prepared to spend while doing nothing. It's great to keep a credit card handy for in case of an emergency. Like ordering a pizza.
3) Get company
You thought you were the only one who likes to do nothing? Of course not. Surely your friends will love to join you in this fun activity. Call them over and do nothing together. It's always good to have company, isn't it?
4) Plan your do-nothing activities
To make sure that you don't get bored while doing nothing, you will need to indulge in activities that help you do nothing. Whether it is watching TV, watching movies, staring, sleeping or just being, plan your activities well so you enjoy your time doing nothing. If you've decided to get company, you can even brainstorm this thought with the people coming over to give you company while doing nothing.
5) Inform friends and family
The last thing you'd want while doing nothing is to receive a phone call from a friend saying "Hey come over to my place. Let's hang out" So let them know in advance to not to disturb you because you plan to do nothing. If they call even after you've informed them, feel free to sternly say "Hey don't you remember I am doing nothing today. I can't come"
6) Set your voicemail and automated email responses
Voicemail: Hi. You have called John. I'm busy doing nothing. Please leave your name and number and I will call you when I have finished doing nothing.
Automated email response: This is an automated response. John has received your email and will respond as soon as he has finished doing nothing.
7) Prepare for your pet
While a pet can be awesome company when you want to do nothing, it can also mean trouble if it needs to be fed. Make sure you've stocked up on pet food and other supplies for your cat, dog or any other animal that you may have, so you don't need to interrupt your time doing nothing to run to the pet store.
8) Stock up on good music
Good music playing in the background is one of the most important things that you will need to help you do nothing. Whether it is Rock, Pop, Psychedelic, Trance, Hip Hop, Jazz, Soul or Classical, make sure you stack up on your favorite artists.
9) Prepare a good excuse
Although there is little more in life more enjoyable than doing nothing, some people may find it very absurd and even think of it as a bad habit. Especially people like your boss, teacher, parents or other members of your family. So make sure you have a believable excuse handy just in case someone annoyingly asks you "Move your butt and do something!"
10) Remove all guilt
Last but not the least, you will have to mentally prepare yourself for this. Don't even, for a second, be faced with the guilt of not doing anything. If others put you down for it, you must remember that they are simply jealous that you've perfected the art of doing nothing.