How to have your way with people by manipulating conversations
Have you noticed how some people always seem to have their way with others and can manipulate conversations easily? If you want to be like them and be in the driver's seat when it comes to winning arguments and having the last word, use these simply yet hgly effective techniques to your advantage. Whether you use these tips to achieve something good or bad is your call, but you will get things done and have your way with people.
1) Beat around the bush in a smart way
The easiest way of having your way with your opponent in the game of words is to sidetrack the topic in a smart and subtle way. One thing will lead to another, and if you're lucky, you'll manipulate a conversation in a way in which you can completely avoid what you didn't want to talk about. Voila!
Rick: So, I noticed you didn't make it to my baseball match. You knew it was so special for me. How could you miss it for the world?
You: Of course I know it was special for you, because there was a pretty girl in the crowd who was cheering for you all the way. I happen to know her, in case you're interested.
(Rick may still feel bad about you not making it to his baseball match, but will definitely forget that for a moment when you talk about the cheerleader)
2) Ask a question against question
It's annoying when people come right in your face and put up a challenge with a direct question in your face in front of everyone. While you may feel like biting their heads off, take a minute and think how you could manipulate the conversation. A short pause at this juncture will not only stump the opponent but will also enable you to win over the situation. Reply to the question with a question and watch the magic work.
Samantha: Why don't you keep in touch often?
You: Weren't you supposed to come over to dinner at ours first?
(Samantha will have nothing more to say because the ball is suddenly in your court now, just because of your question against her question)
3) Say it out loud
You'd be amazed at knowing how effectively this tip will help you manipulate conversations. For some insane reason, people are lead to believe louder is truer. So, the next time you want to have your way with someone and manipulate a chat to your advantage, speak properly and repeat your point loudly or start talking in voice louder than your usual from the very beginning.
4) Pack a punch and laugh it off
Warning - It's not always possible to pack a punch without bearing the consequences. That could range into anything from a relationship breaking apart, your reputation being at stake, your life being out at risk and so on. So, if you need to embark on the road to manipulation without being too risqué, all you've got to do is shoot your pearls of wisdom and laugh it off – to make it all cool in the end.
Martin: I must say, you have a tongue made of blades. You shouldn't have spoken to my girlfriend like that
You: Well, I've got to use words that your girl understands right? Haha, just kidding. Sorry about that. Let's grab a beer.
(You've laughed off what could be a crude remark had it been said with the wrong expression)
5) Sunny side up
If you are having a conversation which is likely to turn into an argument that you'd like to win, put your sunny side up – which means start belting out a list of the times when you've helped that person or done something for them. This may even be irrelevant to the conversation you have at hand, but for a second, it is bound to loosen up your opponent.
Client: There are three more errors in the document that we spotted today. We can't continue work with you if we get even the slightest of errors. What are we paying you for?
You: Ma'am, you know I wouldn't jeopardize your work for one bit, don’t you? Remember the time when I delivered a dossier to you when you wanted it in the middle of the night? That was Christmas time and everyone else was on leave. In any case, I assure you the next set of documents will be effort free.
(You reminded the client of a past favor which kind of makes them let go of the apparent errors in the document)
6) Over compliment to weaken
Manipulation is the art of channeling your advantage, your way. It doesn't necessarily have to end up in touché. You can be extra nice and manipulate. Many people, if not most, tend to lose a little bit of their grey matter when they receive a high dose of compliments that weakens their knees. Did anyone just mention the Art of War? Then do or die it is!
Chrissie: Listen, I'm not associated with that department anymore. I probably can't do anything to help you.
You: Let's stop wasting time talking about a department who couldn't value a gem like you. Who would want to be there anyway? Oh, before I forget, I wanted to let you know that you were brilliant in those training sessions for us. Everyone came out delighted, raving and ranting about you. We defiantly want you back next year. So… what were we talking about?
Chrissie: The department and how stupid they are. Well, let me see if I can get back in touch with some of my old contacts there.
(Chrissie obviously felt good about all the praise that you subtly showered upon her)
7) Confuse and enslave
Manipulation through confusion doesn't mean you utter gibberish and leave the other person bewildered. It's the art of confusing by choice. You can use a series of techniques here. Use jargon to add weight to your conversation, refer to previous conversations or incidents that may or may not have existed.
Claire: I suppose this is just one more time you forgot. I am so fed up of this.
You: And what about the time when I was going all out to finish those pending tasks and you completely blew it for me by bringing your own problems to me? Leave it Claire, we all have our bad hair days. I suppose today you're having yours!
(What you've said here really makes no sense at all but it may still help you manipulate the situation)
8) Take support in the form of acknowledgement from people around you
One of the best tricks to have your way in conversations is to weaken your opponent by asking for confirmations from others around you. And when you ask for confirmation from others, ask rhetoric questions which leave them with no choice but to acknowledge your point.
Tim: We should have got that deal. Maybe you should have tried harder to convince the client.
You: I wish you had given me the authority to give them the extra 2% discount. Everyone likes discounts, don't they Brad?
(As Brad acknowledges, you have not proved that you tried your best but you did prove that discounts work. That affirmation from Brad will weaken Tim's stance)