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How To Deal With An Angry Person / Live With Someone With Anger Issues

Updated on December 28, 2009

Well, the assumption I am going to make is that this person really means a lot to you. I wouldn't think you would wanna live with this person otherwise. So, assuming that this person is a companion or friend who means a lot to you, I would suggest the following.

First of all, you'd have to learn to stay calm with a person who loses his/her temper at the drop of a hat. Responding the say way (in anger) only serves to exacerbate the situation with these kind of people. Perhaps, its what they want too - to have a confrontation. Maybe its their way of dealing with problems. However, if you stay calm in such a situation - you'd find that the person would feel like a fool after some minutes of shouting and throwing a tantrum. Most likely they'd apologize for their behavior.

So, the key is to ignore (if the anger is directed at you). Perhaps, just leave the room so you don't get tempted into making counter arguments. Believe me, counter arguments aren't gonna work coz they wouldn't be receptive to logic when they lose their temper. Anger puts blinkers on their eyes - they just can't see logic in that frame of mind.

If however, their anger is directed at someone else, you'd have to step in and be proactive. Try and get them to calm down by distracting them by a chore they were supposed to do or some other thing that they were supposed to get done. Get them out of the immediate area of confrontation - so that there is no eye contact between them and the person at whom their anger is directed at.

In the long term, getting them to attend Yoga classes would be very useful. Meditating helps calm the mind and conditions the mind. They'd perhaps not lose their temper so readily after they've done a good amount of Yoga sessions.


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      A renter only 5 years ago

      I am in a funtunate situation with my elementry girlfriend, getting me away from a extremly dangerous abusesive man.

      My friend and I worked everything out between us as far as chore, money, etc.. without either of us feeling like we are taking each other for granted.

      However, there is 5 in her family, and I make 6.

      It was agreed upon with everyone that I can move in, including the head of the household. The head of the household is a angry man that I was unaware of before moving in.

      Moving out right now is not a option, I already tried this approach with no safe results.

      I was not aware of the fact before I moved in I was not going to have my own bedroom. I am exposed 24-7 unless I am in the bathroom. I have no complains with this, because it is not my home and I can work around almost anything, except abuse. I will not tolerate it in any way in my life. anymore.

      The head of the household whom I do respect and very grateful for him reaching his hand out to help.

      I get involved with positive situations that may accure at times.

      I do not get into there business as far as there marriage and family. How he treats his family is not my business unless it is extreme abuse towards someone, unless he directly puts me into it.

      He has directly put me into situations that I can not avoid because if the door does not close it will excellerate.

      He has directly yelled in my face, for who know why and that door has not been closed. I thought he knows by now that he can not over step his boundaries with me, however he has not come to that reconciliation yet.

      He has treated to back slap me on several times, yelled at me for sleeping on the sofa, (reminding you this is my bed, and I only take up less space as possible. All my personal belonging and living space is about 8ft by 6ft, still no complains by me. Yes, not convient but I deal with it.)

      I try and get away from the home environment as much as possible.

      I go out of my way to avoid getting into his private life and space.

      However, he continues to directly put me into situations that I do not want to be in nor do I deserve.

      I do not know how to stop this, because he has the power to throw me out if he would choose to.

      He is very unperdicatble, and when things and situations are taken care of that bother him, he still finds something to complain about and showing anger. I really do not know how to address this issue, and nor should I have to. But, I have to somehow stop this direct approach upon me.

      I do not know how far this message will go, but I am open posistive ideas, tools and actions on my behalf to stop it, in a healthy way. Thank you Terri