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How To Overcome Bullies: The Art of War
You are 10 years old; you are minding your own business; a bully who just loves to pick on anyone he perceives to be a likely target spots you. Fear instantly enters your bloodstream and you want to run. The bully is bigger than you and faster. Even if you run, he will catch you. Not only that, if he has to chase you, he will hit you harder and most likely will pound more blows upon you. You don’t run, you just stand there waiting to be hit.
This scenario, or something similar is going on all over the world and had its beginning at the dawn of man, perhaps even before. Bullies learn early, and they learn there are those who are weaker, cannot protect themselves, and are easily intimidated. They experience the great joy of power over others, and like with heroin, they become addicted to this power. Any bully will tell you that when you beat up someone, there is a measure of pleasure involved. Because of this, bullies will continue to harm others until they are stopped. Rarely, do they stop of their own accord.
When bullies grow up, most learn to obey the laws and do not indulge in physical violence. However, they have not changed, and find new and more fulfilling ways to attack their victims. Some are in positions of authority, whereby they can use their authoritative powers to gain for themselves and punish those who oppose them. Some bullies become executives and take great pride in their ability to pummel their competition and anyone in their own company who gets in the way of their ambitions. Others grow up as thugs and criminals and continue with the joys of physical violence.
Many countries have bullies as leaders. A large number of companies are run and staffed by greater and lesser bullies. Bullies are an ever present danger to your children at school and in the playground. In short, we are a world where bullies run free and only the brave, the strong and the wily can face and beat them.
The first two, the brave and the strong overcome bullies because they can with their own power. Those of us who are not strong and brave must be wily. If you are not strong and brave you must use the strategies of the great warrior; Sun Tzu. If you have never heard of Sun Tzu, Google him, he is the greatest military strategist in the history of the world. Google him now, then come back to read the rest of this article.
The uniqueness of Sun Tzu is that he shows a country, a corporation or an individual how to defeat a stronger, more powerful enemy. It is said that a really good general defeats his enemy on the battlefield, a great general defeats his enemy without ever going to war! If you do not have the power and courage to beat a bully head on, then do not despair, use the techniques of Sun Tzu and you can annihilate your opponent without direct confrontation. I must warn the reader, unless you are extremely cleaver, you will be tempted to destroy the bully using means that are not exactly kosher. How you destroy a bully is something each person has to determine for themselves. How much do you really want to solve your problem? Often, weak and fearful people can get away from bullies by giving in to their demands. Bowing and groveling respectfully, and just kissing their…..
You can also leave the country, change jobs, change schools and hope your new environment is bully free. All of the above will get you away from your current bully. Of course, the question you must answer is; when you avoid bullies by running away, what is the cost? How much of your manhood are you leaving behind? How do you feel when you face your wife, family and friends? There is a price for staying and there is a price for leaving. Only you can decide which price to pay, each action or inaction has a price.
If you are the leader of a country, and you want to expand your power, influence and territory, you can only do so at the expense of others. If you have an army of 100,000 men, you are unlikely to declare war or attack a country with sophisticated weapons and a million man fighting force. You would not only fail to defeat them, you yourself would be defeated and most likely you would be killed.
No, you are not going after the powerful opponent; you are looking for the weakest opponent with the least ability to stop you. And this is the first truth about war and bullies. They want to win, and it is very rare and unusual for a bully to attack a strong opponent. For all of you who are capable of fighting head on, I say bravo and well done! You are the true leaders of men and I can only hope you are in positions of power and influence.
Let us return to the vast majority of people. They are not all that strong or brave, but most would rather not emigrate, change jobs or go to a new neighborhood and school. So how do you beat a bully? If you are a weaker country, you must undermine the aggressor’s alliances; send in spies to infiltrate, watch and monitor, and influence the movement of the enemy. You must sow lies, doubt and dissension amongst the population to undermine the government of your enemy. You sabotage his communications, supply lines and transportation. In addition, you create havoc in the country causing wide spread fear and suffering. Most importantly, you attack his ability to create income, in other words, you destroy his economy. If you follow the directions of Sun Tzu, even a small force can overcome a large force. Tell me, do you see any of the methods I have outlined happening to our country?
In regards to the business bully, much of what I have already outlined is fundamental to overcoming your competition. It is much easier to destroy a company from the inside then to attack it from the outside. The Chinese today are using technology to their advantage in many ways. They attack the computer systems of companies: steal their products, information, customer and accounting data and anything else of value. When they are careless, they are found out, and the news is blasted all over the country. What most people do not seem to realize, is that most of these attacks are not noticed by the victims and are going on continuously all throughout the world.
Our government, our industries and our people do not realize or do not know how to stop what is taking place. The Chinese, study Sun Tzu constantly. Sun Tzu would be proud. The Chinese are practicing the teachings of Sun Tzu on us. You too can do it to your competition or to the boss bully in your office. As I said before; how far and what methods used is dependent only upon you. I do hope you are not a bully in coward’s clothes.
The question arises; what do you do for the school bully? If you use the techniques of Sun Tzu you could so destroy the bully that he/she may want to kill themselves. Cyber bulling has become a major problem for our schools. It is a big problem because it works extremely well to destroy reputations. It will of course work against a bully, but it also can, and is used against the innocent. My worry is that most young people are not experienced enough to use Sun Tzu in the right proportions.
Children and teenagers are very conscious of what others say and think of them. Undermine someone’s reputation and you will have them so busy defending themselves from the attacks, that they will not have time to bother you. A student’s weapons are rumor and innuendo. Well timed and well placed rumors, lies and half -truths can destroy people. Facebook and the other social networking sites can be used to say anything about anyone without others knowing who said what to whom. How hard is it to set up fake identities on social sites? How difficult is it to get away with lies? Herein lays the beginning of the end for bullies and the end of innocence for the person who uses this method to attack a bully. In addition, if you get caught destroying a bully’s reputation, you may be beaten up or even killed by your bully. If you go after someone using the methods of Sun Tzu, you must enter without appearing to enter, and leave without appearing to have been there in the first place. I doubt there are many kids who can do this.
I know from experience, that the school yard can be a place of fear and violence. Often is the case, where a child will not report being bullied for fear of direct or indirect reprisals from the bully. When you ‘rat’ out a bully, he can simply get a friend of his who does not go to your school to come after you. You do not know who hit you, but it has been made clear to you, that the police, the school, the teachers, and your parents cannot help you. You feel helpless and alone, because you are helpless and alone.
The best thing I can recommend for kids is to study martial arts. It will teach you how to protect yourself and you will gain the confidence to stand up to bullies. It will also give you an ‘aura ‘that you are not a victim to be pushed and shoved. The strong are not often attacked. If martial arts are not available to you, then you may have to grow friendships with people who can protect you from the bullies. However, they are often not around when you need them. If none of these options work for you, then your choices are very limited. At this point, I would study Sun Tzu intensely, desperate times, call for desperate means.
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