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Teachers Should Take The Blame For Bullying In School Here's Why!

Updated on March 24, 2015
School bullies. Bullied.
School bullies. Bullied.

Annual Bullying Check 2014

  1. 51 percent of schoolchildren were disappointed with the lack of bullying support from their teachers.
  2. 26 percent suffered bullying every day at school.
  3. 63 percent were bullied purely because of their disability.
  4. 61 percent were physically attacked.
  5. 30 percent have gone on to self harm because of the bullying.
  6. 10 percent have tried to commit suicide.
  7. 83 percent claim bullying has ruined their self esteem.
  8. 56 percent say that bullying has hurt their studies.
  9. 41 percent who had NOT been bulled achieved A grades.
  10. 30 percent who had been bullied in the PAST achieved A grades.
  11. Only 26 percent of continued bullying passed their A grades!

As you can see, there is a huge gap between the non bullied and the bullied.*

The following is not directed at the many teachers who do a great job protecting our kids from bullies. But there are still many who just ignore or don't see what's going on in their classroom.



Stop school bullies
Stop school bullies

Long term effects of bullying.......

When you are bullied at school you never believe that it will change your life.

School bullying is something that you have to put up with, once you leave school then its over. You can get on with your life and forget your past.

But that's not how your mind works. What happens in those few years can totally change your path in life, and affect your relationships, careers and choices.

Leaving behind the feeling of low self worth is not easy. You never ever forget those horrible words thrown at you, or the nasty deeds that are done to your mind and body.

What about them.......?

But what's worse than the actual bullying, is the complete disregard of the teachers to your feelings and actions against you, day after day.

Teachers are supposed to be our protectors and helpers in the absence of our parents. There is always talk of helping children get an education when coming from a broken home, or having abusive parents, but where is the help for bullied children?

Nobody seems to address the fact that, if a child comes from a stable warm loving home and then gets projected into an environment where they are totally overwhelmed by bitchiness, attacks and mental trauma how are they going to cope?

Stupid teachers!
Stupid teachers!

My story.......How could a teacher be so stupid?

I was bullied literally from the first day of school. I remember a boy kicking and spitting at me, so I told my parents and my mother took me to the classroom where we confronted the child and his parents.

And this is where my life changed. Even at the age of five I had been brought up to believe in fair chances. I looked at the boy and told my parents that no, I had made it up. I believed that by lying for him he and others would think I was a good kid.

But it was not to be. The other children began to bully me in their childish ways. I remember one girl a couple of years older constantly picking on me. I kept quiet because I didn't want to cause trouble.

By the time I had got to middle school, the bullying was in full force. I remember one incident that made me begin to realise that teachers were not only treating us with complete disregard but deliberately targeting the bullied child.

We had to walk up behind the school to the end of the big playing field. I was on my own, others were in pairs. One pair kept talking. I was walking quite a way from the others, so imagine my surprise when the teacher shouted 'Who's talking?' Then looked at me and said, 'Nell it was you wasn't it? Go back to the classroom now'! She shouted it out so loudly I ran back inside.

I sat at my desk in bewilderment. How could she think it was me? Couldn't she see? When she returned I tried to tell her, but being so shy I just kept blustering on, and she said, 'Take your punishment, I want this work done before the end of class'.

Fair? Of course not.

Intelligent school kids get bullied through jealousy
Intelligent school kids get bullied through jealousy

Intelligence gets a double helping of bullying.....!

By the time I started the 11 to 16 year old school it just got worse and worse. I never bitched or bullied, and because of that I stood out like a sore thumb. I was intelligent for my age, far above the other kids in common sense and learning. That's not boasting, just a fact.

I felt much older than my years, and looking back I realised that even at five years old I was learning about Planets and Dinosaurs at home, not playing like the other kids.

I remember one incident that actually makes me laugh in a very ironic way. At 13 years old I remember going to school thinking, 'Great we are all teenagers now, nearly adults! No more bullying!'

Yep childish and naïve, but I really thought that at the time! I remember to this day how horrified I felt when I realised that no, its not going to happen!

And of course the teachers carried on totally ignoring my pain and humiliation.

Don't I matter? Don't ignore bullying
Don't I matter? Don't ignore bullying

WHAT ABOUT ME?

Two incidents really stand out among the hundreds of incidents.

The first being totally humiliated and embarrassed by the other kids when, sitting in a class lined up on seats that where placed together, all the bullies started yelling, 'Ew she stinks, get away from that....' and ' I am not sitting with that skank.....'

They also grabbed my school bag, threw it to each other and dropped all my stuff on the floor. My sandwiches for dinner were in there, and the stamped on them too.

Where was the teacher? Oh yeah, at the front of the class writing on the blackboard!!

She turned around, looked and then said 'Settle down please'!

Was that it? Was that all it was going to take? What about me? What about ME?

Nothing.......

And still the teachers do not see.........!

The next humiliating incident happened in Commerce class.

The teacher was at the front writing on the blackboard, talking about how society used money and so on.

Meanwhile I was sitting at my desk being bombarded with pens, ink and glue which stuck in my hair, went on my clothes and all over my face.

The teacher just carried on teaching. She said nothing. I was too scared to move, and sat crying my eyes out.

Where were the so called caring teachers who were supposed to be looking out for me and others like me for Christs sake?

By this time my mother had been up that school so many times she had nearly worn a hole in the Headmasters carpet. But still it went on.

School music teacher
School music teacher

The total disregard of the teacher made me so sad.......

But among all this heartbreak there was one incident that to this day makes me angry, sad and wanting to punch the teachers face. Sorry but that's how I feel.

It was a good day. Nobody had picked on me and we had just got the exam results back for Music. For the exam we had to play the piano, listen to different tones, and read music. Then we had to sing.

The teacher read out the results for each of the students. Some had 54 percent right, others higher or lower. Then he came to me.

'Nell I am pleased to tell you, you have got 100 percent right'! I smiled, I was so pleased, and even better all the other kids looked at me in amazement!

I remember thinking.....this is it! This is the time for things to change, now the kids are looking at me in a different way.

I knew that when some students got a high score the teacher would say something along the lines of 'For being a great student at Music, would you like to join the choir, or even take extra piano lessons?'

This way the other kids, fickle as they were, would suddenly turn tail and be nice to them.

So I waited.......and waited.....but the teacher just smiled and moved on. At the end of class the other kids looked at him expectantly.

But nothing.....He just walked out the class and left me to it. The kids all turned to me and started laughing and shouting.....'Ah ha...you are not good enough, skank, even the teachers know it!'

I hated that teacher. I hated him so much I left music and changed to art. I wanted vengeance. What a bastard! He was the final nail that nearly drove me mad.

So I did the only thing I could think of. I lost it completely.

Girl fights back after bullying
Girl fights back after bullying

I take the law into my own hands and fight back.........

In my fifth year at the age of 15, a girl who had constantly bullied me from day one ran in front of me, and stopped, put her leg behind her and kicked me.

Next second I found myself throwing her against the Headmasters door. I hit her and hit her until four boys came over and dragged me off. She went off limping and shaking.

The worm had turned. I was never bullied again. Apart from one incident where I tipped a girl into a pond because once again she kicked me.

She obviously never got the memo!

So I would like to say, a big Thank you to all those teachers. For being completely blind, deaf and dumb to my pain. And thanks for sticking up to the bullies, not.

My life was dramatically changed because of school bullies. I met and married the wrong guy because I believed I was only worthy of him.

I never pushed myself at work, just staying the same old me in the same old job. Because I don't bully, and push and trample all over other people.

Oh? And I would have loved to study Physics or Science, and gone on to do the job I always wanted to do. But hey, thanks to the teachers I never had the chance.

I still managed to get 6 O' Levels when I left, but that was nothing compared to what I could have achieved.

I loved Science, History, and Geography. And of course Music. I had brains. But that doesn't matter, because when I left I am sure you gave the same thought and feeling to other poor kids who were bulled.

So, lets ask that question again.

Who's fault is it that kids get bullied?! I think you know the answer to that one.

School bullies are taught at home, Ignored at School, then go on to beat others down through life.....

— Nell Rose

Teachers, take note and change.......

People always talk about school bullying and how to stop it. I say it should start and end with the teachers taking notice of who is being targeted, get them away, and help them.

Open your eyes, too many kids have taken their own lives because of school bullies. But all it takes is one teacher who can change that child's life.

And hey, here's a thought. If your child is getting constantly bullied, then take the school to court. Sue them for every penny.

If they ask on what ground, state the fact that teachers are supposed to be the carers of your children when at school.

Do this because your child's whole life is at stake.

Maybe then the school system will change. But I won't hold my breath.

And just remember......

Sometimes kids who get bullied fight back, because they have no other choice!


Now you have read this.......

Who do you blame for children being bullied?

See results

Sources

*http://www.ditchthelabel.org/uk-bullying-statistics-2014

© 2015 Nell Rose

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    • Nell Rose profile image
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      Nell Rose 8 months ago from England

      lol! that's okay! you gotta remember that we are your mother country, we behave and have good manners over here! LOL!

    • Larry Fields profile image

      Larry Fields 8 months ago from Northern California

      Thanks, Nell. I stand corrected.

    • Nell Rose profile image
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      Nell Rose 8 months ago from England

      Not sure where you mean Larry, but if anything like that happened over here the person in question would be chucked in jail for a few years to learn some manners! I do believe a couple of countries, (seen it on tv) beginning with R and B treat their disabled like crap! over here we are not allowed to be racist, sexist against disability, or race and religion, thank goodness!

    • Larry Fields profile image

      Larry Fields 8 months ago from Northern California

      Hi Nell. Poignant hub! I have a stooopid question.

      You mentioned disability. It is my understanding that ADULTS picking on physically disabled adults is socially acceptable in all countries in the greater European area; it's not just Skinheads. Is that right?

      If so, here's an observation from here in the good old USA. In all of my adult years, I have never heard hate speech directed at a physically disabled adult, simply because of the disability.

    • Nell Rose profile image
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      Nell Rose 2 years ago from England

      Hi sujaya, yes it does, I am sorry that your children have had to suffer, and thanks so much for reading, nell

    • sujaya venkatesh profile image

      sujaya venkatesh 2 years ago

      with one or two kids in a family it becomes terrible either way

    • Nell Rose profile image
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      Nell Rose 2 years ago from England

      Hi lets, that's awful! it seems nothing changes, when my son was being bullied I changed his school, and the headmistress really got angry and annoyed with me! how dare she! she claimed that, 'you will never get your son into another school'! she stated, looking at me with a smirk on her face. so I told her in a quite voice, yes I already have! lol! you have to push and keep pushing, never let them beat you, good luck!

    • letstalkabouteduc profile image

      McKenna Meyers 2 years ago from Bend, OR

      Until I became a bullying victim myself last year, I thought the problem of bullying in schools was being overblown. However, I became a teacher being bullied by another teacher! I reported the problem to my boss, the superintendent, and my bully's boss, but nothing was done. Ignoring the problem seemed to be their strategy. Even when kids have the strength to report the problem, they may encounter indifference like I did. That indifference was far more damaging to me than the actual bullying.

    • Nell Rose profile image
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      Nell Rose 2 years ago from England

      Hi Glimmer, yes I totally agree with you, it seems parents these days don't do enough to keep their children safe at school, my mum was always storming up the school to have a go, not that it did much good, the Head and teachers even back then took no notice! thanks for reading, nell

    • Glimmer Twin Fan profile image

      Glimmer Twin Fan 2 years ago

      This article made me sad and sad not only for your story and the bullied children, but sad that there are teachers out there like this. I definitely think parents play a part in bullying behavior as well.

    • Nell Rose profile image
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      Nell Rose 2 years ago from England

      Hi drbj great to see you! yes i totally agree, I think they should all be taught self defense as long as its only for the ones being bullied, thanks so much, nell

    • drbj profile image

      drbj and sherry 2 years ago from south Florida

      As long as teachers and school administrators turn a blind eye to bullying, it will persist. Parents and/or guardians can make a big difference for children by instilling self-confidence and teaching them the basics of gentle self-defense.

    • Nell Rose profile image
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      Nell Rose 2 years ago from England

      I totally agree with you Star, there should be a new way that will make teachers see who is the bully, maybe a new sort of punishment, these days its so weak, back in my day we got the slipper, the cane and very long detention if we did anything wrong, not these days, its pathetic, thanks so much for reading, nell

    • profile image

      Stargrrl 2 years ago

      It's hard for teachers to stop bullying because they cannot discipline the children at all. And when children tell on each other, you really can't do anything if you didn't see it, and the kid denies it. That makes it hard. And most parents will take their kid's side or blame the other one for starting it. Lack of discipline has really done more harm than good.

    • Nell Rose profile image
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      Nell Rose 2 years ago from England

      Thanks so much melissa, yes its never forgotten but a long time ago now, thank you

    • melissae1963 profile image

      Melissa Reese Etheridge 2 years ago from Tennessee, United States

      Voted up. I hope that your scars will someday heal.

    • Nell Rose profile image
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      Nell Rose 2 years ago from England

      Hi suzette, yes I totally agree with you, these days its disgusting to think it still goes on, don't they ever learn? thanks so much for reading, nell

    • suzettenaples profile image

      Suzette Walker 2 years ago from Taos, NM

      Great article Nell! Yes bullying does begin in the home and that is where it needs to be stopped. At school it must be stopped at the classroom. To many parents, teachers and principals do not want to get involved. There should be zero tolerance for bullying in society, in the home, in school, and in work places.

    • Nell Rose profile image
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      Nell Rose 2 years ago from England

      Hi Writer Fox, Oh how I agree with you! it proves that its down to getting rid of values and religion, you only have to look at the Glastonbury Thorn tree, 2,000 years its been there, only now its been cut down by vandals! if you don't know about the Thorn, its all over Google, fascinating story, thanks for reading, nell

    • Writer Fox profile image

      Writer Fox 2 years ago from the wadi near the little river

      I've noticed that bullying is particularly prevalent in the UK. This is a reflection that something is wrong with the society as whole. It seems to have started in the 1950s and today more than 50% in England are atheists and 77% say they're not very, or not at all, religious. It's like the moral fiber has become undone and this is reflected in the way people are treated. The only alternative for school children is for their parents to find a good private school where ethical or religious values are taught. Most people, though, cannot afford that option.

    • Nell Rose profile image
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      Nell Rose 2 years ago from England

      Hi Genna, thanks so much, yes teachers do look the other way, its unbelievable that these days its still going on, thanks so much for reading, nell

      Hi Deb, yes I totally understand how it could have taken a long time to get over it, it hurts, mentally and sometimes physically too, I often think the mental torment is actually worse than physical, thanks so much for reading, nell

    • aviannovice profile image

      Deb Hirt 2 years ago from Stillwater, OK

      I was bullied, too, the school punching bag, but I did have a few friends. The teachers liked me, and let me stay inside for recess, where I would not be ridiculed or hit. I was always an excellent student, and some of the kids that were rough on me, would come to the house to play. I don't think I had it as bad as you did, but it still hurt emotionally. I turned into a very shy kid, and it took a LONG time to get over that.

    • Genna East profile image

      Genna East 2 years ago from Massachusetts, USA

      Well said, Nell! Although bullying may begin in the home, it is a social anathema that is in many ways enabled by teachers – either by looking the other way, or by participating. This is must read for everyone!

    • Nell Rose profile image
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      Nell Rose 2 years ago from England

      That's so true Flourish, I wish it was sorted out at schools these days, its so sad, thanks so much for reading, nell

    • FlourishAnyway profile image

      FlourishAnyway 2 years ago from USA

      Too many people turn away and pretend they don't see so they don't have to take action.

    • Nell Rose profile image
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      Nell Rose 2 years ago from England

      Thanks so much Miran, glad you liked it, nell

    • Nell Rose profile image
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      Nell Rose 2 years ago from England

      Thanks Michael, yes its the teachers who should maybe do a class for themselves about how to tackle bullying, it seems that even all these years after my bullying, its still going on, thanks so much, and great to see you!

    • profile image

      Miran Shuleta 2 years ago

      I agree 100% with this, fantastic Hub.

    • molometer profile image

      molometer 2 years ago

      I agree with Billy. I am still teaching and sad as it is to admit. Bully's are alive and well and still kicking others around.

      Your experience is obviously very sad and personal but unfortunately not at all uncommon.

      Ironically teachers are the only group in society that have an actual plan, and procedures to tackle it.

    • Nell Rose profile image
      Author

      Nell Rose 2 years ago from England

      Thanks DDE so true and straight to the point, thanks for reading, nell

    • Nell Rose profile image
      Author

      Nell Rose 2 years ago from England

      Hi brad, yes I totally agree with you! parents should be allowed to smack their kids, its an abomination to think that was stopped! and yes I do agree that teachers these days do go above and beyond so to speak, its just a few back then and now that need to watch out for the bullying, as well as the government making new rules along with the school administrators, thanks

    • Nell Rose profile image
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      Nell Rose 2 years ago from England

      Hi sally, thanks so much, that teacher must have had the patience of a Saint! that's why I couldn't teach, I would lose my temper far to quickly! nell

    • Learn Things Web profile image

      Learn Things Web 2 years ago from California

      bradmasterOCcal,

      Untrue, parents absolutely can still discipline their children. If you mean parents can't spank their kids anymore, that's untrue. Most parents (80-90%) still hit their kids. And hitting kids actually makes it more likely they'll hit or hurt others. Kids who are spanked are far more likely to hit other kids and far more likely to think hitting others is an acceptable way to solve problems. Kids learn by example. If the parents hit, the kids are more likely to hit. Bullying is nothing new. And schools ignoring it is nothing new. The only thing that's changed is that we're more aware of how damaging it is to victims.

    • bradmasterOCcal profile image

      bradmasterOCcal 2 years ago from Orange County California

      The problem is less about the teachers and more about the government and the school administrators.

      Parents can no longer discipline their children because they might be taken in with social services for abusing their children. The children know this and they take advantage of it.

      I grew up on the lower east side of NYC, I never bullied, and we didn't call the kids that made trouble for us bullies. We just did what we could without involving teachers or parents. It was a good life if no one got hurt, went to the hospital, or died. These were very rare.

      Teachers today are responsible for breakfast and lunch, and many of them did down into their own money to supply their kids with things that should be provided by the schools.

      Your message should go to holding the school administrators, and the government accountable for these problems. They set up the environment making these events possible and common place.

      Thanks.

    • sallybea profile image

      Sally Gulbrandsen 2 years ago from Norfolk

      Nell Rose

      I really felt for you when I read this Hub. I was a recipient of a lot of bullying at school and can honestly say that the years spent there were miserable. I felt inadequate and was permanently afraid. Like you it impacted on my life in a negative way. Strange as it may seem I do however look back and think of one teacher who was always kind and thoughtful. He taught typing (of all things) and the kids made his life a misery. They fooled around, dipped blotting paper into ink wells and threw the bits up and onto the ceiling of the classroom. The bits stuck there and stayed there. They threw items at him and still he did not react. He simply ignored the bullies and dodged the items thrown at him. I think that in spite of my own experience I don't envy teachers today or even then. A teacher has such a responsibility, they can either be the making of or the ruination of a child, it is very much like a lottery.

      I really admire your courage in writing this hub.

      Sally

    • DDE profile image

      Devika Primić 2 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      Parents and teachers play a big part in child's life. Bullying is no exception.

    • Nell Rose profile image
      Author

      Nell Rose 2 years ago from England

      Hi lily, lol! I hated school too! I got called all sorts of names, no wonder I always thought I was ugly! great to see you!

      Hi MsDora, thanks so much for reading, yes if only teachers took more notice of the child instead of just the learning schools would be a much better place, thanks, nell

    • MsDora profile image

      Dora Isaac Weithers 2 years ago from The Caribbean

      I just wish that teachers would become more aware of the difference they could make in the life of children who need their help. Nell, thanks for sharing your experience and great insights.

    • lilyfly profile image

      Lillian K. Staats 2 years ago from Wasilla, Alaska

      Absolutely Nell! I had a Teacher, Mrs. Cotton that herself was a bully. She'd say, you're so stupid Liliah, because even tho I was too shy to read, I could. Arrggg! I HATED school! All I was, was a "Warthog"! Oh, poor me! Haha! As always Nell, a wonderful article! A pro job! Love yaz, lily

    • Nell Rose profile image
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      Nell Rose 2 years ago from England

      Thanks Vellur, yes I fought back in my fifth year, my last year was so much better, thanks so much for reading, nell

    • Nell Rose profile image
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      Nell Rose 2 years ago from England

      Hi Shyron, yes it definitely helped me to get stronger and not take any more of bullying when I left school, but underneath I was always pretty scared, until I got married and we lived in a rough area, then I totally turned harder in fact too hard, it took me a while to calm down and get back to my normal self, long story! sorry to see you were bullied too, how awful, nell

    • Nell Rose profile image
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      Nell Rose 2 years ago from England

      Hi mary, I am glad you didn't have bullying there, if only the children had been taught respect at our school it would have been lovely. I know its a long time ago now since I left school but its something that always stays in my mind, thanks mary, nell

    • Nell Rose profile image
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      Nell Rose 2 years ago from England

      Hi travmaj, you were so lucky that you didn't have to go through it, it was directed at some at our school and others just got through school without a problem too, all you needed was to be different in some way, thanks

    • Nell Rose profile image
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      Nell Rose 2 years ago from England

      Hi tsadjatko, that sounds awful! its so wrong, children should be kept safe, not faced with this every single day, thanks so much for sharing your story, nell

    • Nell Rose profile image
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      Nell Rose 2 years ago from England

      Hi Paula, I agree that teachers back then seemed to be distant towards us, it was as though they just couldn't see that a child was a little person who needed help, it makes me so mad! thanks as always.

    • Nell Rose profile image
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      Nell Rose 2 years ago from England

      Hi Jackie, lol! yes five brothers would be a great help back then! glad you were safe from bullying, nell

    • Nell Rose profile image
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      Nell Rose 2 years ago from England

      Hi paxwill, yes you are so right about the older teachers, they seem to have more strength in dealing with bullies, and therefore the children respect them more, thanks so much for reading, nell

    • Nell Rose profile image
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      Nell Rose 2 years ago from England

      Thanks Ann, yes it seems these days that for some reason men are keeping away from teaching, and I also noticed that they try to be friends with the kids, now that shouldn't happen, if the kids think the teachers are friends they will play up more, thanks again, nell

    • Nell Rose profile image
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      Nell Rose 2 years ago from England

      Hi Audrey, turning the other cheek was what my mother told me to do, and for many years that's what I did, but it never worked so i fought back, thank goodness the part of me that was harder did the right thing, nell

    • Nell Rose profile image
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      Nell Rose 2 years ago from England

      Thanks so much Alicia, yes I think teachers these days should really look out for it, as its got so dangerous now, no more just throwing glue, its more about beating up on other kids, thanks

    • Vellur profile image

      Nithya Venkat 2 years ago from Dubai

      Sorry that you were bullied, it leaves a permanent scar. Teachers should take care and protect children from being bullied. You fought back and that is a brave thing to do.

    • Shyron E Shenko profile image

      Shyron E Shenko 2 years ago from Texas

      Nell, I am sorry that you were bullied, but as the saying goes "whatever doesn't kill you will make you stronger" I think you became stronger when you stood up for yourself.

      I also was bullied, you were probably stronger than I was.

      Voted up, UABI, and shared.

    • mary615 profile image

      Mary Hyatt 2 years ago from Florida

      I'm sorry you had to endure all the bullying! I went to a small country school until I left for college, and never was bullied. The kids I went to school with were taught to respect others and lived by the Golden Rule. I'm sure if a child had been reported for bullying, their parents would have made sure it never happened again!

    • travmaj profile image

      travmaj 2 years ago from australia

      Nell - so sad to hear about this bullying and how it affected your life. How unfair it was.

      We seem to hear more about bullying today than when I was growing up. It's probably good that people are discussing and dealing with it. As you state - a few years ago the teachers turning a blind eye was the norm. Glad to hear you finally found the courage to fight back and win.

      Luckily, I can't recall much bullying at the school I went to, (hmmm I don't think anyone noticed I was there)

      I do recall some heated nonsense between the C of E school kids and the Catholic kids - typical rudeness although I imagine some bullying went on.

      Hope all well and spring has sprung in your corner of the world.

    • tsadjatko profile image

      TSAD 2 years ago from maybe (the guy or girl) next door

      Nell, excellent piece. You brought back memories I had long forgotten. I grew up in a bad neighborhood where bullying was just the norm. We had to go alongside a black neighborhood to walk to our elementary school. Believe it or not, the older girls, not the guys, from that neighborhood would bully us and threaten us with a beating. My last name was a favorite target to start the name calling and we learned at a young age when to run and run fast. We had a bully in our neighborhood whose nickname was stimey. He picked on anyone younger than him. His reputation went before him so we usually ran before an encounter ensued until one day he was picking on this little boy right in front of the kid's house. We, my friends and I, were watching, trying to get up the nerve to do something when the little kid's older sister came flying out the front door and beat the crap out of stimey, then chasing him down the block and into his own house. After witnessing that we never backed down from him again which a few weeks later led to him attacking me. We had a fist fight right on the side of my house and I wound up on top of him pinning him down. There was a crowd of kids watching as stimey's sister ran home. Just when he was about to give, his mother showed up and ripped me off him, then picked him up, threw me on the ground and sicked him on me. Not hard to understand why he was a bully.

      Although I didn't have ongoing bullying at school there were a couple isolated incidents, one time I was knocked out but the teachers never knew, cause I didn't want more trouble from the bully.

      I'll tell you as it pertains to schoolyard bullying and teachers, in my opinion the problem is our educational system. To learn, children and adolescents need to feel safe and supported. Without these conditions, the mind reverts to a focus on survival. Teachers are more concerned about themselves, their paycheck, their union benefits than their professional responsibilities to the learning process, central to which is insuring and fostering a safe learning environment. Students just aren't taught what they need to know to succeed in life, bullies and bullied alike, and that is the teachers' faults.

    • Nell Rose profile image
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      Nell Rose 2 years ago from England

      Hi mary, thanks so much, yes it was a nightmare ten years at school, I would have loved school and all the learning if I had been allowed too, thanks, nell

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      Paula 2 years ago from Beautiful Upstate New York

      Nell, you have broken my heart with this story of what you had to endure as a young girl in school. I am appalled and understand completely how deeply this hurt you and changed the very nature of who you were/are. This is an undeniable fact. I must say that the teachers in your school (back then) were terribly uninvolved and disinterested in the safety & dignity of students!

      I want to believe in more recent years, due to bringing "bullies & bullying" to the forefront and to the attention of all adults, especially teachers, strides have been taken, programs have been placed & this issue now has the attention it should.

      I think it is all three who must take their share of the blame....the bully, "some" neglectful parents (certainly not yours) and YES, teachers should be alert at all times, observant & proactive!!

      Very well-written.....and a much-needed purging for you, Nell! UP+++

      Peace, Paula

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      Jackie Lynnley 2 years ago from The Beautiful South

      So sorry for this Nell and a little hard for me to understand because although I knew bullies they knew better than to bully me and I would have never stood and let them bully anyone; but different times of course and not as big a threat as today. Glad you got tired of it and got some fight in you. Guess 5 brothers put that in me before the age 5! lol

      I do see so much bullying today though and even online. Who would have ever dreamed it?

      ^+

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      paxwill 2 years ago

      I completely agree. It is 100% the instructor's responsibility to maintain order in the classroom. I think the problem is that some teachers who are young and inexperienced don't want to seem "uncool," by disciplining harshly, or worse, they know the bullies' parents socially. So they pretend like they don't notice anything. I've always found that older teachers who don't care about being cool have less problems with bullies in their classrooms.

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      Ann Carr 2 years ago from SW England

      You could be right; it's the female teachers at my granddaughter's school who don't seem to give her the back up she needs. I never thought of that before (being a retired female teacher!) but I think you're right! I certainly didn't tolerate any degree of bullying when I had students.

      Ann

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      Audrey Hunt 2 years ago from Nashville Tn.

      Bullying can ruin a childs life throughout their life. I hate the thought of teaching kids to fight back but it may be the only way to stop this horrible problem. I no longer believe in turning the other cheek. A great topic for a hub and thanks so much. I'll share this everywhere!

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      Linda Crampton 2 years ago from British Columbia, Canada

      This is an important hub, Nell. I'm very sorry that you had such horrible experiences at school. I think that the causes of bullying are complex, but if it happens during school time teachers should definitely take a stand against it.

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      Mary Craig 2 years ago from New York

      I couldn't vote in your quiz because I think all three answers are correct. My heart breaks for that little girl in England who grew up to so many mistakes because of those bullies!

      I am simply amazed that an adult could stand by and watch a child be treated like that. It took courage to dredge this up Nell. God bless.

      Voted up, useful, awesome, and interesting.

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      Nell Rose 2 years ago from England

      Hi Graham, thanks for reading, I totally agree with you! the second I fought back all bullying stopped! they say turn the other cheek, well....we know that doesn't work!

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      Nell Rose 2 years ago from England

      Hi Ann, thanks so much, I also notice that these days there are so many women teachers and not enough men, I wonder if that is the problem too? it seems that bullying always tends to take place where there are female teachers, or so I remember, thanks, nell

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      Nell Rose 2 years ago from England

      Hi Frank, thanks so much, yes I think parents should take a stand, but most just don't see it. I noticed back in the day parents would tell their children off for doing it, these days the parents turn on the parents of the bullied child as though it was their fault! yes it does start at home a lot of the time, thanks, nell

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      Nell Rose 2 years ago from England

      Hi Jodah, thanks so much, yes bullies pick on others for the strangest reasons, some for being to clever, others for being fat and so on, I don't really have sympathy for the bullies because many come from good areas and families too, as I noticed at the time, I think boys don't bully as much as girls do, something in their DNA maybe! lol! thanks again, nell

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      Nell Rose 2 years ago from England

      Hi Barbara, that was a great idea to move him to a Christian school! I remember when my son was five years old, after tons of bullying and 'certain' favoritism to other students by the teachers I took him out of school and placed him in a good old fashioned English school, and would you believe it? five other parents did the same thing after me! thanks

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      Nell Rose 2 years ago from England

      Hi LongTime, that was a great idea! in fact my son learned judo and karate for the same reasons, he only used it once when he got bulled, the judo move was the best he would do so as not to hurt the bully! but it worked, and in fact they are good friends now, thanks, nell

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      Nell Rose 2 years ago from England

      Hi rebecca, thanks for reading, yes some schools were really good, but there was a lot of bullying in my school, I believe it still goes on today, glad you never had to go through that, nell

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      Graham Lee 2 years ago from Lancashire. England.

      Hi Nell. A top class hub. Spineless teachers are/were everywhere, they seek only peace not confrontation. The only thing that stops a bully is when the bullied person unexpectedly fights back. A Lion cares not for the opinion of a Lamb. Such is life.

      voted up and all.

      Graham.

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      Ann Carr 2 years ago from SW England

      Parents set the example but some schools certainly don't help it stop! I know of schools on both sides of the fence; in this day and age there is no excuse for schools not to clamp down on bullying immediately it's brought to their attention. We are too lenient in lots of areas and it's time it stopped.

      It's so true that the effects can last a lifetime.

      Great message; I hope those who need to hear it, do so but I'm not holding my breath.

      Well done, Nell!

      Ann

      Ann

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      Frank Atanacio 2 years ago from Shelton

      While the legal culpability in bullying cases is still up for debate, there are many resources to help parents recognize warning signs that their child might be engaging in bullying behavior. I think all bullies "are increasingly aggressive," "blame others for their problems" and "are competitive and worry about their reputation or popularity." And to quote Shakespeare.." The Fault lies not within our stars, but within ourselves." anyhow.. what an explosive in your face read.. voted useful and sharing

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      John Hansen 2 years ago from Queensland Australia

      Important hub Nell, and thank you for sharing your own personal experiences. That adds to the impact. Many bullies do so because they are abused at home either physically or mentally. It is their way of having control/power over someone else instead. it is too easy for teachers to often turn a blind eye, and as said in other comments, in some instances teachers may be afraid of the bulies and their families. This is very wrong and needs to change. Bullying needs stamping out. I was fortunate to never be bullied at school(other than some name calling)but I think being good at sport helped to prevent this. It is a shame that students are picked on for being smart. One of my son's went through that and he decided to concentrate on sport instead of his academic studies to be seen as more "cool." I am voting up and sharing this.

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      Barbara Badder 2 years ago from USA

      My son was bullied when he was in 6th grade. He came home with his back covered with bruises all year. When I talked to his teacher about it, he just shrugged and said kids that are overweight get picked on. I was horrified that they wouldn't do anything about it. I wish I had taken it to a higher authority right away.

      A year later, the same thing happened. My husband went directly to the principal and he acted like he just didn't care. My husband pulled him right out of the school and put him in a Christian school. It was the best thing we ever did.

      By the way, this is a really well written hub. I admire your writing skills.

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      LongTimeMother 2 years ago from Australia

      I took one of my teenagers out of school and home-schooled her when she was bullied and the school seemed incapable of addressing the issue. We live in a different place now but I still see bullying at my current teenager's school.

      This teen has no problem with being clever, pretty and athletic. She makes no apology for excelling at anything and is happy to be considered a nerd. I suspect that has something to do with her having been a student of aikido since the age of 7. She can confidently drop any child - or adult - without it looking like a fight. lol.

      She hasn't used it at school yet, but she has my blessing to do so any time she believes it is necessary. This time I didn't wait for problems to arise. I got in early with her self-defence training. :)

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      Rebecca Mealey 2 years ago from Northeastern Georgia, USA

      I personally tend to blame social media. Here, anyway. That seems to be the problem. As far as bullying in the old days, I don't remember it being a problem, really, in my day. I mean we said bad stuff about each other, but it never got to the point where it was all that serious. Just part of life. Part of growing up. I don't think teachers should be blamed, generally speaking. Great article!

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      Nell Rose 2 years ago from England

      Hi Ruby, I am so sorry to hear your granddaughter was bullied, and yes my whole life was based on the fact that I was bullied. over the years I learned to stick up for myself but it took a pretty long time, and lol! thanks, I have always loved writing so that never changed since I was a young kid, thanks so much for reading, nell

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      Nell Rose 2 years ago from England

      Hi bravewarrior, there were around 30 kids in all the different classes, our school was pretty small the teachers from all the classes knew our names so it's a bit different from the large class that you attended, and yes I agree with you that some students come from homes that don't care, but I think bullies are not unloved or unhappy, they are just big headed bitchy bullies who need lots of friends to make them feel hard, I never knew one that came from a bad home, all were quite well off and a lot of money, it was the rich against the poor where I come from, these kids followed their parents by pushing and trampling on others, talking to them made no difference it just caused them to be bigger headed and think they were the bees knees, living in England we don't have the gun problems over here thank goodness, and maybe in london its harder, but in a small town its just down to bad behaviour, thanks so much for reading, nell

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      Nell Rose 2 years ago from England

      Hi Miz, yes I totally agree with you, those kids are sick in the head, and do go on to be evil in some way, something has to be done or else bullying will carry on, thanks so much for reading, nell

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      Nell Rose 2 years ago from England

      Hi Learn, yes that's it completely! the teachers are scared, and it definitely does not toughen you up, I think all teachers should take a child psychology class or at least one term to understand how children react, I learned it in psychology when I went to night school, I was going to be a councilor but had other things that got in the way, but I do wish I had carried on, thanks for reading, nell

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      Nell Rose 2 years ago from England

      Hi Kiss and Tales, thanks so much for reading, yes I think that's the problem, even when I was back at school the teachers didn't seem to care whether the children were safe or not, something has to be changed, nell

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      Nell Rose 2 years ago from England

      Hi Audrey, thanks for reading, yes the bullying carries on outside the classroom and of course its not up to the teachers then, but in school they should be safe, thanks, nell

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      Nell Rose 2 years ago from England

      Hi Bill, thanks so much for reading, as I said at the beginning its not all schools and not all teachers, but I do think they should do more, most of the time they just don't see what's in front of them, thanks, nell

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      Ruby Jean Fuller 2 years ago from Southern Illinois

      Nell, I am so sorry you were treated so badly. I have an overweight granddaughter who was bullied because of her weight, plus she was a straight A student. It sounds like your whole life changed because you were bullied, but it didn't take your writing ability away. YEA. I always enjoy your hubs. You are so honest and it comes through loud and clear. Cheers my friend..

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      Shauna L Bowling 2 years ago from Central Florida

      Nell, this is a very controversial subject. I was bullied in high school, but in the way of not being included in the cool crowd because I was new and smart. It wasn't cool to be seen with me. After school was a different story, then once the bell rang I was on my own once again.

      I hurt that you were hurt. You haven't gone into enough detail for me to place any blame on the teachers. I was in a class of 300 students, so unless a student complained to a teacher, chances were great that they just weren't aware of the situation.

      I also know that today's society has bred a different kind of student. Many of them come from deplorable backgrounds, for which they are naturally angry and haven't been shown a better way or mindset. That makes teachers fearful. Look at all the shootings that have gone on in schools over the past 10 years. I think teachers are afraid to speak up. I don't condone it, but they follow the paths of the neighbors of the kids who bully. They're afraid to speak out because they fear for their own lives.

      It's wrong. It's unjust. But I don't think the teachers are to blame. However, I do feel they need to be held accountable when they don't take a viable interest in their students and do something to combat the violent behavior. Sometimes all it takes is taking the aggressor under his/her wing and guiding them down a different path. Bullies bully because they are extremely unhappy, unloved and want to take their pain out on the rest of the world.

      A kind word goes a long way.

      Bullying is bad and wrong in every sense of the word. But there's more to it than blame. There's making every effort to diffuse the actions and redirect the negativity to positive actions. It's hard work, but it can be done.

      Parents and teachers need to take the blinders off and really seem then offer solutions. Unfortunately, some of those bullies come from homes where their parents just don't give a shit.

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      MizBejabbers 2 years ago

      Nell, it is a shame that bullying is not treated as what it is, kids sick in the head taking it out on normal children. The fact that they are getting away with it leads to them becoming malignant narcissists or sociopaths when they grow up. Then the bullying continues in the workplace. Unfortunately, the bullied child is usually the one who gets punished, as in your case. You're right that the teachers do little or nothing.

      Excellent hub with good points. I'm sorry you had to go through all that. Voted up

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      Learn Things Web 2 years ago from California

      I wonder if part of the problem is that the teachers fear the bullies and their parents. My sister is a teacher in a low income area and she says the parents of the bullies are very aggressive, so the principal doesn't want to upset them. But something needs to be done. The effects are lifelong. I left school two decades ago but the effects of being bullied are still with me. It doesn't toughen you up at all like many people believe.

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      Kiss andTales 2 years ago

      I do think that bullying can be done without an Adult knowing, even parents, the point is when you are aware of the problem , what are you going to do about it. Rather that be a perant or staff of a school.

      my

      My grandchild reported an incident to a sub

      her response was truthful, she said she did not care.

      that is the case many times, it is all about caring, showing concern for children even when they are not your own. As the scriptures says people's love will cool off.

      having no natural affection. That is certainly

      not Jesus way.

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      Audrey Howitt 2 years ago from California

      Interesting--I think there can be a climate of tolerance for this kind of behavior--the question is why--the other thought that I have is that so much of bullying takes place now outside the classroom--it should not be tolerated

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      Bill Holland 2 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Well my friend, I was a teacher, and I can't find a thing to argue about in this article. Bullying begins at home....but it is perpetuated in the school system.