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ISO a Life: Roommates (part 1)

Updated on May 3, 2011

Only Goofs May Apply

When you don't have enough money for a house of your own, roommates are a fact of life. This is when you discover that most people are a little, well, quirky.

Take for instance, the six hour bath roommate. It's the weekend and I'm heading out when I notice that the tub is filled almost to the brim. Of course the roommate is in the kitchen cleaning up from her fully cooked breakfast (every meal is a full meal for her). It's 9:00 AM. I go off and do my stuff and then return at 3:00 PM. She's in the tub. You'd think her ass would get tired. Porcelain is hard.

When she does get out, she leaves her book and a commuter coffee mug on the floor next to the tub. How did she survive not eating lunch? Oh, she's going to go make it now.

She has actually bragged about reading an entire book in one "session" in the tub. She did this every day off.

She actually got me to change from bathing in the morning to bathing at night. She wanted me to get up and take my shower an hour earlier. I looked at her like she was nuts. She would spend an hour and a half in there on workday mornings. I spend half an hour.

Then there's Mr. Stinky Food. Every single night for a year he would make the same thing for dinner. It was always boiled and included cabbage, onions and fish. He boiled it for at least an hour. I would stuff a towel under my door to try to keep the smell out. It was so disgusting that I would get take out so I wouldn't have to be in the kitchen at dinnertime.

Of course, during the winter he would have to open a couple kitchen windows because of the steam. Mind you, there was a hood that took care of that problem if you bothered to push the button. So it got cold. So he turned up the heat.

Which brings me to the landlady. Wanted to keep the heat at 60. Brrr. Bragged that her "boyfriend" kept his at 50! I think he just wanted her to go away. So naturally when the roomie turned the heat up to 72 and left the windows open, she came home and had a fit. It was a stupid thing to do.

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