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Imperfect Balance; Working With Paradoxical Uncertainty, Incessant Denial of Fear of Death and Sexual Intimacy

Updated on October 17, 2010

MODE of Cosmic Therapy Esoteic Psycho-Analysis

Primal Energy
Primal Energy

Mode of Cosmic Therapy Esoteric Psychology: Reconciling One's Ever Evolving Spiritual Reality

You say you want more balance in your life but your idea of and interpretation interjected in the word balance is totally unbalanced.

What you perceive as balance is really no more than your addictive, habitual, self-serving and accustomed way of accumulating more clutter, extraneous diversion and time consuming distraction.

You are bored and looking for another way to amuse yourself. The fact that you think you are trying so hard to find balance in your present life indicates you have no idea what it is, what it does entail nor do you care to know. In other words, you are not looking for any such state.

 The more you move in the direction of so called (balance) harmony, the more you are ushering in chaos.

You really have no intention of attaining any sort of balance in your life, other than a more affable pretense {to offset imagined guilt and remorse) in levels of agreeable comfort, desired convenience and a fresh way of becoming familiar with outer circumstances you have no other way to control.

 {A fancy way of saying you do not want to deal with ‘things’ problem areas as they currently exist in your world.}

Things are never in complete balance. There’s not a better or more conducive state. You don’t get to pick and choose according to your liking or not liking the results of any endeavor. You must take what you get! Intensity (the tension created by the polar opposites involved in your falsely ignited plight for balance ) manages to dispel any sort of contrived unnatural effort you are assuming to create.

By trying to initiate balance, you set up a barrier that prevents the very act you propose to attain. Instead of the desired balance, ‘you claim to want’, you are in fact opening the door for unimaginable chaos. And, “NO” This does not afford you the opportunity to have a ‘nervous breakdown’. That is not an option.

Pandemonium is projected, restriction bent, peace established, chaos absorbed in the perfected movement laying between that which acts and that which does not. In essence, the intention you have regarding achieving a more balanced state in your life is warped.

Your intent is guileful and distorted. Perfection exists singularly in Divine Will, alone.

No other balance can be had or experienced. Nothing supersedes it, nothing interferes with it, nothing generates it, and certainly nothing destroys it. Nothing occurs out of its sync or season. If you want to know the true meaning of hell, attempt something out of season.

All pre-meditated action on your part is futile when trying to achieve what you so improperly determine as balance. Balance exists before and after any attempt to acquire it. For lack of a more relative term, it is completely spiritual in nature.

When one makes the statement, “I want to become more spiritual”; the statement condemns the person uttering the words. In the process of speaking such a ludicrous affirmation, a highly calibrated condition to dissolve the distorted intent has already been established.

It is beyond futile, and hopelessly stupid to declare that one is working on becoming more ‘spiritual.’ In order to achieve a higher, purer more conducive balance in his life, he need do nothing but refrain from seeking it. If HE is aware of his intent, it is misaligned. Any overt outer attempt is juxtaposition.

To say that one desires to become more spiritual is certainly an easy way to lie and convenient way to distract him from present difficulties. It’s a great temporary emotional mask to assume but little does it offer in the way of genuine relief from inner turmoil and self-induced provocation.

If he imagines himself to be lost then, above all else, he is not to look for the avenue of escape. His self-determined, selected delivery will be of a contrived measure and one which suits the particular offense he feels he has committed or omitted.

Either way, his motives are not without deviousness and the expected benefit of some sort. (Wrong motivation) He’s acting in response to a cleverly designed motivated inclination to alleviate his emptiness and sense of unproductivity. {Offset by a tinge of guilt of some sort}But, these motivations are not sincere!

No human being ever feels true remorse in or for himself. It is always initiated to produce another place in what he perceives as having more advantage. Unable to perceive what is directly in front of him, he deviates to a highly conditioned preferred response in favor of ambiguity. No one enjoys uncertainty.

But, life is not uncertain. The truth stands: the rest falls away. People don’t change; seasons do. What I was two months, five years, 17, 28, 35, 48 years ago, I remain virtually the same. What that is, I am incapable of knowing at this time for my consciousness is so obscured with distorted fragments and idealized ideas of what those experiences meant or did or did not mean.

There is something much greater than I am beyond my ability to express this experience of me even as I pen these words. With each stroke of the pen I wrestle with the words flowing through me as if I am to shape them, fashion them, edit them, and contour them to my liking. That is not the case at all.

I battle with that notion at all times in which I am seemingly performing. I must not for my sake of revealing to myself not give any impression that I know what I am doing or what I am saying. The moment I think I do know or can perceive the meaning of what I am involved in, I need cease immediately.

And, yet even as I speak (write)I recognize that I cannot in all actuality express my inability to communicate what I am talking about which from where I sit comes across to me as phoniness. I am merely projecting an inexplicable state of the outer layer of that which lies beyond.

This is not a tangible thing I speak of but that which is seemingly intangible at the moment. Perfect balance emerges as my recognizing my inability to alter things in any way. In all actually I am the living expression of all that can be. I have no idea what anything means at any time except what it means to me.

Nothing lies ahead of me, in back of me and outside of me. I am competing with no one for a thing. I am complete with all things at my disposal. If I deem myself to be less than what I think I am supposed to be than I set myself up larger than the essence of what is behind me. I am not what I think I am. I am incapable of thinking. I can only be still and know that I am God/Goddess/Godits, whatever that entails.

I do not have a presupposed perception or conception of what the term God means, for if I do, I have limited that experience, as well. In the same manner I can not label God or his/her/its essence. If I maintain any idea, it is a self-projected creation according to my intrinsic definition of the expression. I am merely part of and the sacred totality all that exists.

Every thought, action, motive, and vibration of the individual encompasses the fully charged and balanced spiritual nature of which it is composed. When one declares, “I must change my ways” he is but becoming subtlety aware of another level of consciousness that has pervaded his space.

He is in no wise responsible for the occasion of awareness anymore than he is responsible for the Sun shining. As has been stated, people do not change. Seasons do, and when the season changes, so too will the individual’s awareness be altered.

Perfection incorporates everything that appears to be out of balance. There is nothing that is out of order in any sense of the word, though appearances often deceive.

Life presents one with every natural occurrence that is necessary for his experience of perfect balance through the use of seemingly chaotic events. One is not in a position to judge the outer circumstances of his life to determine what is needful and what is not.

One may be repulsed, saddened, and sickened by the thought of having to declare war perceiving it as totally unnecessary while another will be excited, anxious and proud to carry guns strapped to his back to defend his country. Who exists in the exalted state to be able to discriminate?

Who can adequately define the global picture of Divine’s most perfect intent? One would have to be beyond all superior and evil aspects of God to define its manner of reason. All things work together for the good of perfection as is presently occurring no matter the circumstance in which it presents itself.

Do not be so conditinally harsh and morally quick to judge what is right or wrong. Accept the undeniable truth: what looks wrong is totally right for the occasion. “Know ye not that you are made perfect in your imperfection?” {paraphrased}

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