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Is white lying acceptable?

Updated on June 17, 2013
Jennifer Lynch profile image

Jennifer Lynch is a radio show host, plus author of The Silver Lining, We Hear You Angels, Williams Wishes and Liberty Angel.

I have decided to write this hub about white lying. What exactly is white lying? I was brought up thinking it is something we do to save someones feelings or to get out of a tricky situation. Fortunately, a number of years ago I realised that white lying or little lies are just not acceptable

1) For me to do it

2) For me to let others get away with it

As I am writing this hub I am remembering the Fleetwood Mac song which says "tell me lies, tell me sweet little lies", perhaps we like to hear them sometimes because quite frankly it is often easier to keep believing sweet little lies than to face the truth.

Singing is something I also do and hey, everyone likes to think they are good at it don't they, we have seen that enough on X Factor. Sometimes we think "will someone please just tell them the truth!". So basically, I was of these girls who stood on the dining table with a salt pot, singing Co-co by Sweet and how sweet it was. I would risk life and limb climbing up wobbly chairs and thinking any minute I might fall into the jaws of an imaginary crocodile to totally immerse myself in such a fabulous song.

Sometimes however, we seem to come down to earth with a sudden thump. It certainly is true that the truth hurts but what hurts more? Does it hurt more to be lied to?

If you think that a white lie hurts less than a really big one, then think again. Do you really envisage that the result of it will be any less devastating when the truth is out?

Recently I did a performance with my friend at a family gathering of sixties and seventies songs and the re-actions were certainly interesting, they went from "yes, you were good", to well -" if you enjoyed it!" Some people were realistic and said it was a little flat in places but some of it was really good. I ask you now, am I any the wiser? "

If you are looking for a measure of something in your life, it is often better to ask yourself. Opinions will always be given depending on what the person has been programed to say from a very early age.

"I just love you in that dress!"

"I don't think it is really you"

"Is that your colour?"

"Don't you think it's a bit tight?"

"Are you tell me, I'm fat?"

If I look ridiculous then I would rather I knew the truth!

Which brings me to the question, if there were no white lies, could we deal with rejection?

Yes, I think we could. Certainly if I am told a good reason for something it means that I don't have to invent a reason and it keeps my in alignment with the truth. It is an awful lot harder for someone to confront the truth or demand the truth from someone else. If we stay with truth, honesty and integrity even if sometimes it appears to be a little hurtful, it keeps you out of delusion or "building the candy floss tree". The candy floss may taste nice but it is also very woolly. Within a very short period of time, it has grown bigger and bigger and sweeter and sweeter until you at last realise that you are completely submerged in it!

Boy is that Sweet! But very soon we find that we are wanting someone to rescue us, as we begin to vomit on all that sugar. What once appeared so sweet, has turned putrid!

Definition of white lie:-

An unimportant lie (especially one told to be tactful or polite), unimportant to whom?

Again, I feel that lying is based on more than one factor:-

1. What your core beliefs are: i.e. things learned and accepted as truth from an early age

2. Ego - lying to save face, or save your own skin.

3. Embarrassment - fear of revealing the truth because it is embarrassing for you more than the person you are going to tell.

4. Abandonment, fear that if you tell the truth the other person may decide to abandon you (which also could be a fear pattern).

5. Jealousy or trying to discredit another person. Someone could tell lies in order to make them feel better or "have the upper hand."

I very seldom encounter "big whoopers" anymore because basically I feel that I am no longer in that vibration. I have some very wonderful friends but then my inner world is reflected in my outer world. If I don't always tell people the way I feel and be upfront with them what do I expect to attract? A situation which was a mirror, in order that I see this lesson and makes changes in the way I behave. (Law of Attraction)

White lies are simply not acceptable, not sometimes, not ever. Unless we want to stay in illusion.

White is right!

White is a very high vibration. Wearing white or sitting in a white space can give clarity, originality and help your connect to higher dimensions. How then can you have a white lie? In essence you can't, because the density of the "lie" vibration would simply dissolve in this higher vibration. It would be unimportant because the intention is not pure. Therefore white lies are fairly insignificant or "unimportant" to the receiver. But they ultimately "bounce back" when you refuse to accept them to the originator! However, by bring them to the light, by just "talking about issues in a non threatening way they cannot exist anyway.

The more you "aim" as life is not easy, to live within your boundaries of integrity, the less bothered you are by others behaviour towards you. Hurt dissolves quite easily within white light.

Can we help others by bringing situations into the light!

I think if you are feeling hurt by something, however small, it appears to be by saying

"Actually you really hurt my feelings over ..." it encourages open and honest communication, where issues can be brought into the light.

If in doubt, ask yourself!

Do you ever use white lies?

See results


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    • Jennifer Lynch profile image

      Jennifer Lynch 4 years ago from Stowmarket, Suffolk.

      Thank you for your lovely comment.

    • Team Wiseman profile image

      Team Wiseman 4 years ago

      Love the way you write.

      It is true that Truth hurts sometimes. It hurt when I read the last page of the Bible when Jesus Christ warns us all to not lie. I have a hard time dealing with "white lies". This article has strengthened me, thank you! May God continue to bless your journey.

    • Jennifer Lynch profile image

      Jennifer Lynch 6 years ago from Stowmarket, Suffolk.

      Thank you Sherry and I agree. I will read some of your hubs today. I have been getting behind!

    • sherrylou57 profile image

      sherrylou57 6 years ago from Riverside

      I feel a lie is a lie no matter what! Even if you are telling half truth and not telling the whole truth. Good hub. Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year

    • billyaustindillon profile image

      billyaustindillon 7 years ago

      Great hub - sometimes people lie 'with the best intentions' and usually the fallout is not pretty at some point. With regards to peoples feelings, find a time to tell them the truth as you see it if you think they need to hear it. Some things are simply left unsaid or saved for another time. If you are uncomfortable with something there usually is a reason. I think if your aren't malicious or nasty then you will find a way to tell that 'inconvenient truth'.

    • outdoorsguy profile image

      outdoorsguy 7 years ago from Tenn

      you know the sentiment is great. never tell a lie.

      but in truth people dont want to hear the truth alot of the time...

      People dont want to hear " thats ugly baby" when becoming a parent.

      women dont want to hear. you look fat in that dress or those pants make your butt look like the 51st state.

      no one wants to hear they were lousy in bed.

      no one really wants to hear. " Im sorry I cant date you, you smell... your not attractive... your not a keeper"

      theres a time and place for Tact or white lies if you want to call them that.

      no sense in hurtig some ones feelings if you dont have to. and all my friends know if they really want my opinion just ask and be prepared LOL.

      I never call babies ugly,, just special... or I used to till my brother figured out what I meant LOL. but god that kid was ugly. like little shrivled raisin with huge eyes and a tuft of hair on its little troll head. LOL it was like a little nightmare in a diaper. at least she ended up cute by the age of five.

    • profile image

      MaryRenee 7 years ago

      Jennifer: This hub is so great! I can't even tell you how many times I've heard someone in my family say, "I'm just going to tell a little white lie." This hub really makes you think, Bravo, Jennifer! :)

    • davidisaiah profile image

      davidisaiah 7 years ago from Klamath Falls, Oregon

      In some, Native Canadian people's culture, there was an interesting piece of communication that often was used.

      Some one would make a sarcastic, rude, or demeaning comment about another person. Then the person making the remark would laugh and say "I lie." It was a way of saying "I am joking." The person to whom the remark was made would accept the apology and laugh and smile. In a way it was like the "dozens". That game played in some Afro-American communities.

      People usually could tell when this "I lie!" was joking or really sincere and just a cover-up.

      Tact is important..."Honey, do I look fat in this outfit, is a difficult question to answer...."

      great hub!

    • Marliza Gunter profile image

      Marliza Gunter 7 years ago from South Africa

      White light?...

      Satan transforms into an angel of white light...

      Jesus IS Righteousness, white light...

      What would be the difference?...

      If in doubt, ask your guardian Angel...

      Answer..Jesus owns the core, the core of life and light..

      Satan only has the energy...but he has no access to the core...

      White is right?

      Jesus spoke of the white painted graves full of dead man's bones...

      The highest vibration is God...

    • Tara Tufford profile image

      Tara Tufford 7 years ago from Columbus, Ohio

      Honesty is always the best policy! Great Hub! You cannot really base anything off of lies, and it really does get you no where. I agree with putz ballard...the truth will always come out!

    • Putz Ballard profile image

      Putz Ballard 7 years ago

      Great hub, a lie is a lie and we are all guilty of fibbing and justifying them but the truth will stand.