Are White Lies Acceptable?
I have decided to write this hub about white lies. What exactly is white lying? I was brought up thinking it is something we do to save someone's feelings or to get out of a tricky situation. Fortunately, a number of years ago I realised that white lies, or little lies are unacceptable.
1) For me to do it
2) For me to let others get away with it
As I am writing this hub I am remembering the Fleetwood Mac song which says "tell me lies, tell me sweet little lies", perhaps we like to hear them sometimes because quite frankly it is often easier to keep believing sweet little lies than to face the truth.
Singing is something I also do and hey, everyone likes to think they are good at it don't they, we have seen that enough on X Factor. Sometimes we think "will someone please just tell them the truth!". So basically, I was of these girls who stood on the dining table with a salt pot, singing Coco by Sweet and how sweet it was. I would risk life and limb climbing up wobbly chairs and thinking any minute I might fall into the jaws of an imaginary crocodile to totally immerse myself in such a fabulous song.
Sometimes, however, we seem to come down to earth with a sudden thump. It certainly is true that the truth hurts but what hurts more? Does it hurt more to be lied to?
If you think that a white lie hurts less than a really big one, then think again. Do you really envisage that the result of it will be any less devastating when the truth is out?
Recently I did a performance with my friend at a family gathering of the sixties and seventies songs and the reactions were certainly interesting, they went from "yes, you were good", to well -" if you enjoyed it!" Some people were realistic and said it was a little flat in places but some of it was really good. I ask you now, am I any the wiser? "
If you are looking for a measure of something in your life, it is often better to ask yourself. Opinions will always be given depending on what the person has been programmed to say from a very early age.
"I just love you in that dress!"
"I don't think it is really you"
"Is that your colour?"
"Don't you think it's a bit tight?"
"Are you telling me, I'm fat?"
If I look ridiculous then I would rather I knew the truth!
Which brings me to the question, if there were no white lies, could we deal with rejection?
Yes, I think we could. Certainly, if I am told a good reason for something it means that I don't have to invent a reason and it keeps me in alignment with the truth. It is an awful lot harder for someone to confront the truth or demand the truth from someone else. If we stay with truth, honesty, and integrity even if sometimes it appears to be a little hurtful, it keeps you out of delusion or building the candy floss tree. The candy floss may taste nice but it is also very woolly. Within a very short period of time, it has grown bigger and bigger and sweeter and sweeter until you, at last, realise that you are completely submerged in it!
Boy is that Sweet! But very soon we find that we are wanting someone to rescue us, as we begin to vomit on all that sugar. What once appeared so sweet, has turned putrid!
Definition of a white lie:-
An unimportant lie (especially one told to be tactful or polite), unimportant to whom?
Again, I feel that lying is based on more than one factor:-
1. What your core beliefs are: i.e. things learned and accepted as truth from an early age
2. Ego - lying to save face, or save your own skin.
3. Embarrassment - fear of revealing the truth because it is embarrassing for you more than the person you are going to tell.
4. Abandonment, fear that if you tell the truth the other person may decide to abandon you (which also could be a fear pattern).
5. Jealousy or trying to discredit another person. Someone could tell lies in order to make them feel better or "have the upper hand."
I very seldom encounter "big whoppers" anymore because basically, I feel that I am no longer in that vibration. I have some very wonderful friends but then my inner world is reflected in my outer world. If I don't always tell people the way I feel and be upfront with them what do I expect to attract? A situation which was a mirror, in order that I see this lesson and makes changes in the way I behave. (Law of Attraction)
White lies are simply not acceptable, not sometimes, not ever. Unless we want to stay in illusion.
White is right!
White is a very high vibration. Wearing white or sitting in a white space can give clarity, originality and help you connect to higher dimensions. How then can you have a white lie? In essence, you can't, because the density of the "lie" vibration would simply dissolve in this higher vibration. It would be unimportant because the intention is not pure. Therefore white lies are fairly insignificant or "unimportant" to the receiver. But they ultimately "bounce back" when you refuse to accept them to the originator! However, by bringing them to the light, by just "talking about issues in a non-threatening way they cannot exist anyway.
The more you "aim" as life is not easy, to live within your boundaries of integrity, the less bothered you are by others behaviour towards you. Hurt dissolves quite easily within white light.
Can we help others by bringing situations into the light!
I think if you are feeling hurt by something, however small, it appears to be by saying
"Actually you really hurt my feelings over ..." it encourages open and honest communication, where issues can be brought into the light.
If in doubt, ask yourself!