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Jealousy - A Menace, A Fire
The dictionary defines jealousy as the state of being jealous. Feeling jealous has few derogatory meanings: Being jealous means wanting to keep what one has possessively, it also means feeling unhappy at someone else’s success. Another word used for the last meaning is “envious”. Of the two words “envious” means wishing that one has something that another has, and “jealous” something even more unpleasant, actually hating someone for their good fortune. There are even few good uses of the word, but these are not so commonly used nowadays. It can be said that an individual guards his respect or his dignity, jealously. But usually, the word “jealousy” brings to mind negative and undesirable qualities.
The feeling of jealousy is one of the most dangerous that a person can feel towards another. One who is jealous, almost instantly loses his ability to the common sense of reasoning. If a man feels jealous about another’s achievements, he spends a lot of time pondering over the success of that person, envying him for something that he has probably gained through his own hard work. Sometimes this anger can lead to violence. Violence usually takes place when all reasoning ends. We are acknowledged about violent crimes committed by men in love, when the women he loves, loves someone else. The first thought that flashes in the person's mind is that he is a victim and acts as if he has been cheated. He tries to overlook the truth that whatever happened is according to the woman's own wish, will, choice and happiness! Had the man had truly loved her, then jealousy would not have conquered his mind and blind him from the obvious. On the contrary, he should care about her happiness and accept her decision as a right one and accept it the decision as this was their final fate, which had to come inevitably. This example reflects only male jealousy; female jealousy has been known to be just as vicious.
Another meaning of jealousy, some people are apt to be jealous if someone they love, or are just fond of, pays attention to someone else. This is common even in ordinary friendships. Sometimes over-possessiveness is the root of jealousy. For instance an isolated person may want a certain friend to keep only his company, which of course is practically impossible and restrictive to the point of foolishness. Consequently, when he sees the person whom he believes he “owns” talking to someone else, he flies into rage. This kind of behavior shows extreme immaturity. The truth is that no one owns anyone. Even in love relationship, there should be no jealousy involved, and an attempt to possess a person should be within the limits of mature practicality, not as if he or she were an object. Long term love relationships are constituted upon mutual trust and jealousy should have no share in it as it is like a fire which begins in a forest and ends up burning everything, even its source.
Jealousy at another’s good fortune is the most harmful of all. Elders, and scriptures, have been telling us that if one is jealous of another, and desires for him evil, the damage and heat of the jealousy will be felt by oneself. This may sound like a tale, but now there is scientific evidence of its truth. Research shows that when we wish evil on someone-like wishing him to contract an incurable disease, our thoughts are have no power to harm the person we feel jealous about. What happens is that our mind interprets the thought as meaning that is ok for such a situation to happen-in this case to suffer from an incurable disease. But think about it! It has no power to cause someone else to be sick or to suffer, hence it is childish to indulge our mind and waste our time and energy by envying anyone, for it attracts illness to the person who has the thought of illness for others.
Whatever form jealousy takes, it is certainly a very dangerous feeling for both, the person who feels it as well as for the one for whom it is felt for. It can neither benefit, nor can it give happiness or satisfaction to the person who feels it. Instead to wasting his precious time and energy on being jealous for someone, he should think about advancing himself to a stage that there won’t be any need of being jealous of the particular person anymore, also his time, energy and brain is involved in self-upgrade. This will benefit both parties as the pre-jealous person has attained for what he envied his rival for and also the other person because they still maintain a cordial ties with each other. Hence, jealousy is like a suicidal package which causes self-destruction for the person practicing and encouraging it.