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How To Be A Good Leader, By Giving And Not Taking

Updated on September 30, 2011

Leadership is about giving, not taking...Most everyone know that those leaders in our governments, if they once knew such a thing, they have forgotten it. They get to their positions by promising to give us what we want, then when we put them there, when they get what they want...The first thing they have taken from us...They then continue taking in the form of money. Oh, sometimes they give us little tidbits and crumbs, just so we don't complain over much. And if they want re-elected, they give us a bit more. Why they don't seem to understand that if they truly fought for and served the people with all they possessed, those same people would also fight for and support them...doing all within their means to keep them in office. I wonder why there is no such thing as an honest politician. i mean, think about it...Is it because honest people want nothing to do with politics? Surely there must be at least one good strong leader out there, who is honest with solid morals and ethics, willing to take on the politicians...there are billions of people on this planet...and not one can do this? I myself have a willing enough heart and spirit to do it...but not a physically capable brain. If I managed to survive the campaign and got elected I would need a huge staff just to keep me from forgetting vitally important thing, and in that very thing, I would be taking and not giving.

To me, being a leader is a serious responsibility. No matter what role you are in. Those who read my hubs will know that I play a game called Lord Of The Rings Online. In it, I am leader to a kinship. I take this role very seriously. I have been told by many in my kin that I have the best kinship. My first officer just yesterday told me I have created "an admirable kinship". My answer to all such comments is similar...I created the kin, and named it ("It Is Not This Day")...But it is the people with in it that make it great or admirable. A leader is only so good as the people he or she leads.

This kinship is based on loyalty, respect, integrity and friendship. We enjoy helping new players learn the ropes. For that reason we are always sending invites to new players. most accept, and once accepted, remain. Once in awhile though, we get a bad seed. We try to work with this person gently, but in most cases, we end up nudging them out the door. So far, we haven't actually kicked anyone, they all left willingly. Last night was one such case. I came on to find a new member had left me a message, as had my first officer. the new member had told me that the first officer had accused him repeatedly of swearing (which is not allowed in my kin) when he had accidently typed shire wrong three times (i think it came out sh**). I then read my first officers report. she told another story. this player had repeatedly swore, even after she gently asked him to keep it to a minimum. he also took advantage of our kinships generosity by asking her for 7 gold (such an amount is, well let's just say it has taken me forever to finally earn that amount) so he could buy a house.

I wrote to the new player that my first officer has been with me since the beginning (way back in June) and I trusted her implicitly. I have never known her to falsely accuse anyone or to lie. When it comes to the well being of the kin, she and I think alike. I told him what she said in her report. then I explained that as a kin, we share with each other weapons, armour, ingredients and recipes. where it comes to personal acquirements, such as decorative clothing, jewelry or houses, we must each provide for ourselves, unless someone were to offer it willingly. I ended it by telling him that if he would respect this kins members and rules he would likewise be respected.

When he read my letter, he became very angry and left the kin. He sent me a private message full of swearing and accusing me of treating him badly. I replied that if he considered that bad treatment, I felt sorry for him. I heard no more from him. He was very upset that I would not take his word over that of my first officer. He was also upset that he could not cause another member to turn against her. When I look at the kin from a distance, I see a solid rock. We slowly absorb smaller pebbles of the same type into us...while other types of stone that aren't compatible tend to fall back off, keeping us sold. While I do not mean to boast, this is what happens when you have a strong leader.

I care about the people in my kin. Every day, I log in, even if i do not want to, even if I don't intend to play, just to see how they are doing or if anyone needs help. There are some days that I can't log in due to things going on in my life, but I am still thinking of them, and I log in as soon as i can. Besides, I asked them to try to log in at least once a day...I would not be much of a leader if I did not attempt to do this myself. That's what leaders do...Lead by example. And not just examples of how to obey rules...but examples like, "its ok to ask for help" or "Man I did a goofy thing today". I try to pay attention to all my members. If someone isn't talking much, I want to be sure it is because they just aren't the talkative type, and not because they haven't learned how to chat in the kinship window, or maybe they are not sure about being welcome there yet. I want to know if anyone is having problems, or has a question or needs help with a quest. The very last thing I want someone in my kin to feel is neglected or ignored.

I can't help it, I judge others by my own standards. I look at people in leadership positions and I see why they fail us. It is because most of what they are doing is taking and not giving.

Edit: I forgot to add something. People seem to think that just because they are sitting on the other side of a computer screen and no one can see them, they can treat others however they choose, and somehow it doesn't count. That just isn't true. As far as I am concerned, the words you type in your messages represent you. If you are rude and obnoxious, then that is the type of person I see you as, as a person. If you are polite and respectful, Then that is the type of person I see you as, as a person. In truth, I think in some cases, being anonymous allows our true nature to show. So, if you would like to be seen in a positive light, then you must make an effort to treat others in a respectful and courteous manner. Otherwise you do yourself a disservice.


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