Living with Demons - Everyone has them
Life is Physics?
This has been tickling the edges of my brain for some time now, I think it’s finally time to put it into words. Everything in life is affected by everything. I believe the Physics Professors would say ’for every action, there is a reaction’. I never took Physics, but I did hear that somewhere.
This is in regards to school. To being young and growing up. To continuing the learning process once Graduation has been completed.
Some of us can say that we had a good school experience, some will say it was a bad experience. Some will just be glad that it’s over. Let’s face it, kids can be mean.
We as students aren’t seeing ‘behind’ the scenes, what we are seeing is what is going on in our own lives. We may have a couple of close friends that we know (or think we know) what is going on in their home, but unless you live with them, you don’t REALLY know.
Everyone one of us is living with our own Demons, at all times. Once school is out and we move on, then we can grow into our own person. It will be time to put away childish things. For some it is more difficult than others. Maybe there is some things that were left unfinished, or at least the feelings of ‘not being complete’ is still there. You can never go back, so if those things were left unfinished, they will have to stay that way. It’s time to move on.
This is for the Football Star’s who had to live up to their Dad’s expectations. Whose Dad’s had failed in their own youth and was trying to live vicariously through theirs. Who maybe had to take a punch from time to time to ‘get the point’ across.
This is for the Cheerleader’s whose Mother’s were jealous of her daughter’s youth and beauty. Rather than make it a Mother - Daughter relationship, it was made into a competition between the two to see who could get the most boyfriends. The daughter’s always felt inferior to the mother‘s, because the mother failed to grow up.
This is for the ‘Miss Prisses’ - whose families were very affluent, she had to live up to the expectations of the entire town. Never doing anything that would embarrass or upset her parents, because they of course were perfect. They weren’t allowed to wear clothing of their own desire, they had to wear what was chosen for them.
This is for the Brainiac’s who managed to show some aptitude early on in life and their parents pushed for them to do better, because they knew it could be done. God help them if they got anything less than an A+. The disappointment would be too great.
This is for the Band Geek’s who spent every afternoon and weekends practicing on their instrument, just so they didn’t hit a wrong note during a game or concert. Of course their parents were there cheering them on, never knowing their child was considered a ‘geek’.
This is for the ‘Leather Jacket Wearing - Tough Guy’s’ who spent many nights sleeping at friends houses, in sheds, in the garage, running from the police whenever they saw a cop car. Whose father’s had left long ago and whose mother’s were alcoholic‘s, taking their anger at the father’s out, on them. The police knew them by sight.
This is for the Fat Girl‘s, who never had a date in school. They might have been cute, but ‘what would all of his friends say’ if she got a date. They would pick on those who dated them. Whose self esteem was so low that it caused them to continue to eat, making them think that food was their friend.
This is for the Misfits - The rest of you that didn’t fit into any category but wished you did. You weren’t popular, but you wanted to be. You weren’t known, but you wanted to be. You weren’t smart, but you wanted to be. You weren’t pretty or handsome, but you wanted to be. You weren’t thin, but you wanted to be. You were too thin, you didn’t want to be. You went to dances only to sit, in the hopes that someone would ask you to dance. You weren’t noticed, you wanted to be, but also were afraid you would get noticed.
Your life was unknown to the world
You leave your high school with many memories, some good some bad. But when you leave, you are starting out a new life. You get to build your own, you get to create your own history.
Keep this in mind as you move on; Your secrets were unknown to the rest of us. You kept them hidden well.
We never knew that your father’s carried such high hopes for you to become pro-football player‘s. Even if you didn’t want it, we never knew. We just thought you liked the attention you got. We were jealous.
We never knew that you had to compete with your mother’s for the attention of the boys. Because you had so many boyfriends through the years, we just thought you slept with all of them. We were jealous and some of us even slept with boys because we thought you did.
We never knew you had to be perfect for your parents’ friends. We just thought you liked to act that way. We were jealous of your perfect-ness.
We never knew you had to study day and night in order to get the good grades, we just thought you were naturally smart. We were jealous because you always got the awards or scholarships.
We never knew you couldn’t go here or there because you had to practice to get better. You made the ability to play an instrument seem so easy. We were jealous because we couldn’t do so.
We never knew your Mom’s were alcoholic’s who called you names. We were just afraid if we said the wrong thing you’d beat us up. We were jealous of your ability to make others fear you.
We never knew you didn’t have dates. You kept a smile on your face all the time and was friendly with everyone, we didn’t think it bothered you.
We were jealous of your ability to ‘blend in’ and not be seen. You could mess up and no one cared. You didn’t have to be perfect all the time. You were allowed to wear K-Mart clothes. You didn’t have to excel at anything, no one would think less of you because you didn’t.
Never stop learning!
We were all just trying to get through the hardest times of our lives the best way we knew how. Some of us not knowing who we were or where we were going with our lives. Trying to make others around us happy, never quite being able to do so. In reality we needed to make ourselves happy. This would come with time.
When it comes time for you to go to your Class Reunions, have no fear. Most of us have grown up. Most of us will welcome each other with open arms regardless of what we thought of each other those many years ago. For those who still hold grudges, be nice to them. In time maybe they will finally be able to put aside their differences.
To those of you who are still in high school - grow and learn, never stop. Remember, everyone has their own battles to fight. Your battles are different from others.
To my classmates - Now that we have grown up, I am glad to finally be able to get to know you. You were all great people then, and you’re all greater people now.