- Education and Science
Love Yourself: Believe in Your Goodness
Today, commit to love yourself and believe in your goodness. How many of us truly believe in the inherent goodness that reside within us and in other people? We do believe most of the time and then things happen that make us think twice.
Let me share to you a story about this four year old boy. Let’s call him Nick. (Names have been changed to protect privacy.)
Nick’s countenance spelled trouble. He had a bad temper and when he couldn’t get his way, he would kick and bite! Digging into his background, it was not surprising he was this way. Parents were separated so he was raised by different relatives. We surmised he was feeling neglected and unloved at home. There was this anger in his eyes and his scowl was fierce. He hardly smiled.
Love Yourself and Believe in Your Goodness
One day, his teachers’ saw him grab the collar of his classmate in an attempt to get his way. As a consequence for his behavior, he was asked to sit at the back until he was ready to join the next activity. He didn’t like it. In a flash, he responded by biting the teachers’ leg. The bite caused an ugly bruise and tears flowed from the teacher’s eyes as it was really painful.
It was upsetting! He was removed from the class and brought to the clinic to face what he had done. He was shouting “no” all the way. A good hour was spent rubbing his back and telling him that nobody was mad at him and that people believed in the goodness inside him. How he needed to control himself and not harm others when he couldn’t get his way. But still he needed to look at the bruise so he could see the effect of what he had done and he needed to say sorry to his teacher. He stubbornly refused.
That incident triggered a lot of emotions from the people around him.
Despair spoke, “He is such a difficult child to deal with. I no longer know what to do. I’ve tried everything but it’s not working.”
Hopelessness exclaimed, “If he doesn’t improve, chances are he will continue to pick up fights along the way and always end up in the principal’s office. Worse, he might grow up to be a hardened criminal.”
Stubbornness declared sighing, “The funny thing is that I got so mad at him for being so stubborn. And then I realized I was looking at my own self.”
Love replied calmly. “Well, we can’t give up on him. As long as he is under our care, let’s find a way to help him. Let’s be firm and consistent with the rules and praise him quickly when he does something good. No matter what he does, we will continue to remind him that he is loved.”
Today, commit to love yourself and believe in your goodness. At that point, everyone simply had to believe that a person is inherently good within and has the capacity to change for the better. Love was reminding us gently with this truth.
Everything went smoothly for the next week until another incident occurred. Nick had erupted in class again. When most of the kids had left, discussions ensued. It was a difficult task trying to talk to him in a calm way when he was behaving like a wild animal, shouting, screaming, kicking, and even pulling hair!
Anger wanted to butt in and give him a piece of his mind but
Love whispered softly, “He needs to go through this." Amidst it all, the revelation came, it was no good fighting anger with anger.
“Nick, control yourself. We know you can do it. You have been doing it for the past few days and we are very proud of you. Remember we told you that you have a really beautiful smile and how you should smile more often. Oh but look at you now. If you look at the mirror, we don’t see that beautiful smile.” Nick kept struggling and twisting his body in an attempt to escape. He refused to look at the mirror keeping his eyes shut tight. “No matter how much you will kick us or pull our hair, we will not kick or fight you back. Remember we love you. Your teachers love you. Even your classmates love you; right, Rachel?”
Rachel went near him and spoke up, “Yes Nick, we love you. But please listen to teacher.” Another classmate had also come near them. There was no fear in their eyes. There was no condemnation. There was just love in acceptance of what is and who you are.
“See even your classmates love you. We believe in you. We know that you are a good boy.” Nick had stopped struggling. Many eyes were wet with tears as the kids affirmed their love too.
Since he was already calm, the others slowly left the room. One of the teachers took a peek later and saw Nick holding the mirror and looking at his face. What did he see? Did he believe that he was good? That he was loved?
That was the breakthrough we needed. Love was right. He needed to go through that experience to know that no matter what, he was still accepted and more importantly, loved.
In the next coming days, we saw how love worked miracles. In that space of unconditional love, Nick had transformed beautifully, wonderfully! He smiles a lot now and he has no longer that aura of anger. He can control himself more and more by not biting or hitting those around him if he doesn't get what he want. Love had transformed Nick. And love had transformed us. We have been blessed by this angel in our life.
Today, commit to love yourself by believing in your inherent
goodness. And in doing so, you will be able to create a space to help others see the goodness within them too.
By: Michelle Simtoco