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Myers Briggs and Dating

Updated on August 5, 2015
SerenityHalo profile image

Andrea writes on various topics from dating, couples, astrology, weddings, interior design, and gardens. She studied film and writing.

The Myers Brigg personality test has 16 personalities. Each of those 16 personalities belong to one of four families: the idealists (NF), guardians (SJ), the thinkers (NT), and the artists (SP). There are other names for these groups, but this will suffice. The test looks at four different components:

1.) Whether one gets their energy by people or ideas. This is called extroversion (people) and introversion (ideas). You may find yourself more in the middle, in any of these categories, but it's the combination of the four personality letters that define your personality. The first letter is either the E or I.

2.) How one takes in information -- sensing (from one's senses and present information) or through intuition (inferences, patterns, metaphors, and the past and future).

3.) How one interprets that information -- thinking (by logically looking at information without social or subjective input) or through feelings (by looking at social reactions and reasoning things from a more subjective viewpoint.)

4.) And lastly -- how one handles times. Judgers are more intentional with time, the way they dress, etc. A perceptive person will be more laid back, and will arrange their priorities more spontaneously.



If we clump guardians altogether in one temperament, we find the more administrative, structured, diligent, and traditional personalities. A large pool of these personalities are among us. They're great at completing tasks, speaking their mind, being direct -- they might be confused with too much fluff, especially the STJ. These are personalities with goals. They care about their romantic relationships -- and really like consistency. Many of them prefer normal to esoteric. Sure, they can hangout with an esoteric situation, but they're probably not your fun loving hippie. They're prominent in getting stuff done, whether at city hall, at home, the taxes, etc. The ISTJ and ESTJ have a special place for money. ESTJ personalities usually top the charts when it comes to wealth. They might like their wealth more than you. The ISTJ is like Batman, or a number of protagonists. He or she has a lot of weight on their shoulders. Excellent, logical thinkers -- who might be less developed romantically. You can get them there -- these are smart personalities who can pick up anything, but they may need some help. The ISFJ and ESFJ, however, are relationship driven. The ESFJ is one of the most popular feminine personalities to get herself into relationships, has the power to get out of them when they're sour, and move on with life. ESFJ's know how to have relationships -- when to compliment, when to nag, and when to drop everything. ISFJ's are softer. They still have the die hard metabolism of an ESFJ, but a lot more of it is tamed. They want their relationships to succeed, it's part of their status quo. A relationship not running correctly for an SFJ is just as troublesome for an STJ who is poor.

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They're usually warm, but they may be wishy-washy. These will be supportive and fun relationships. ESFP and ISFP love to be in love. It helps them come to a bigger and brighter place in their creative worlds. ESFP may write songs about you; the ISFP may paint pictures about you. They may be lazy at times, or go through streaks of heavy introspection... so if you're a SJ personality and dating one, you'll have to have patience. These personalities are more warm. They don't like too much structure and bureaucracy. They'll make a point to win you over, though it might not be the most consistent interaction. They enjoy variety. They enjoy their senses a bit more openly than the rest. They like being in the moment, and have a real honest way of being there. It can be difficult to have them plan out too far into the future. They'll have a certain magnetic closeness to the people they like. They can be sensual, and distracted by their senses. They may have a hard time with NF personalities who like to take their time before jumping into relationships. These personalities get along, but the introspection vs. sensual dichotomy can be messy.


Idealists are automatically about people. They're the smallest group of people by far. They really like ideas, creativity, and spontaneity. Even the NJ personalities who crave structure are more on the wild side than other J personalities. Idealists want to look into things on a spiritual and emotional side. They are perfectionists when it comes to relationships, and genuinely seek harmony in their environments. INFJ will take on everything until they collapse, and they want to support you and push you in the right direction (though their intuition will let them know aplenty about where you are a terrible person). The INFP is similar to the INFJ, but the INFP will go through bouts of impatience, running out of fuel, and needing to hide in a cave desperately. The INFJ is more aggressive and social, but not as social as the ENFJ, who might be the most social of all, except maybe the ESFJ. ENFP is a warm personality, maybe a little flirtatious, but loyal to the core when they select a mate. ENFP and INFJ go incredibly well together with the INFJ's endless need to complete and the ENFP's more laid back style.


The rationals are all about the brains. They'll like you if you're smart, but they might keep you anyway because they already have brains and you entertain them. INTJ and INTP are both masterminds. They're focused on an inner working of puzzles. ENTP and ENTJ might have a tongue for arguing. Your NTP friends will like randomness and being able to jump into a whole series of things to get their brain waves going. The INTP likes facts; they love logic but they also love that which doesn't entirely make sense to them -- it's the ultimate cat and mouse game. ENTP will have a wide array of people they have met -- their brain is wired to pick off cues from others. ENTJ is usually a leader when none are to be found. They're committed fellows, and also have hankerings to do something they can excuse as not so harmful -- like smoking a pipe, etc., etc. The NT crowd are generally at a genius level. They may admire NFJ and SFJ types who have a better sense of emotions and people, and will also accommodate them. They'll have the brains, so if you like brains and think you can handle it -- go for it. This does not mean you immediately get money or love, but you'll have great conversations, if you can keep up. The INTP is especially complicated, generally hitting the highest marks on standardized tests. The INFJ can unmask an INTP which is delightful to them. INTJ can be controlling and start playing your cards for you if you don't have enough aggression to do so yourself. You could become more like another child, trophy, or toy to an INTJ if not careful. ENTP will secure you socially and want you to feel included. They may overwhelm you with an argument -- but they're a mostly forgiving personality. They both want to argue and think and also be likable. The ENTJ is not as warm; they'll need structure and may become weary if too much is happening that they can't control.

Keep in mind... this is a very basic crash course into Myers Briggs. There's 16 unique personalities, and you could write a thesis on each one. There is a lot to be said of the FUNCTIONS, which I don't have time to explore, but those are a smart area for you to look if you are considering dating someone, or just like to carry all this information in your head for fun. In each personality, you have stronger qualities and weaker qualities. For instance, the INFJ has a strong introverted intuition -- but their extroverted sensing way at the bottom, can be frankly murky. Look up functions because each personality has four. Understanding these things will help you better learn about yourself. No, you are only one personality type; it may be difficult to figure out which one, but once you really nail down your strengths and weaknesses, you'll see it. Use online tests as an indicator; it'll probably get you pretty close if not the legit thing -- but make sure you really look into it. And have fun!


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    • SerenityHalo profile imageAUTHOR

      Andrea Lawrence 

      4 years ago from Chicago

      Glad it was helpful for you! Have a lovely day.

    • Deborah Demander profile image

      Deborah Reno 

      4 years ago from First Wyoming, then THE WORLD

      Great summary of the personality types. As an ENFP, I found it very informative and useful. Thanks for writing.



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