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Ponderisms

Updated on August 24, 2008

Ponderisms

 

Got this email and thought I would share the contents with you. This is pretty funny stuff and something to wonder about.

Ponderisms

Can you cry under water?

How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?

Why do you have to 'put your two cents in'.. But it's only a 'penny for your thoughts'? Where's that extra penny going to?

Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?

Why does a round pizza come in a square box?

What disease did cured ham actually have?

How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?

Why is it that people say they 'slept like a baby' when babies wake up like every two hours?

If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?

Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV?

Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?

Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're going to see you naked anyway.

Why is 'bra' singular and 'panties' plural?

Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?

If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him?

Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane?

If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?

Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!

If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?

If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?

If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?

Why did you just try singing the two songs above?

Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your butt?

Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?

hmmm

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    • Earth Angel profile image

      Earth Angel 8 years ago

      GREAT things to think about Gwendymom!!

      So many I had never put together!! Thank you for sharing!!

      Blessings always, Earth Angel!!

      P.S. If you received the Ponderisms in an email, the content may belong to someone else?? If you get flagged for "Duplicate Content" that is why!!

    • lori763 profile image

      lori763 8 years ago from SWFL

      Hi Gwendymom,

      These are very funny. As a matter of fact, as a kid I used to worry about dying in my leotards - my 6 year old vision of hell - eternally resting with those itchy inner seams on my legs (Ha!).

    • gwendymom profile image
      Author

      gwendymom 8 years ago from Oklahoma

      Lori, that would be hell. or how about dying in wool, being itchy for eternity wouldn't be much fun.

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