The Idea of "Self-esteem"
I appreciate all criticisms. Without your thoughts and criticisms my growth is limited to what I can think of. By taking the time to share what you disagree with, You could shed years worth of ignorance from my life. Thank you.
In order to come to a better understanding of self-esteem I will define the idea, Show the affects of both extremes, expose some delusions, come to a conclusion on what I have discussed and finally delve into how different religions deal with the idea.
- The Esteem that one holds in ones self
- How proud one is of ones self
- A judgement of the competency of ones self
- A personal belief system that one has built up over time. (usually without realizing it) Most often, This idea comes with an ideal way of existing. The larger the gap between the ideal way of existing and the way the subject exists, The lower the self-worth is perceived to be.(1)
Why is this idea vital in our lives?
To answer this I will show the varying affects of low, high, and healthy self-esteem.
- Low self-esteem affects every part of a persons life. This is the feeling that one is unworthy or not good enough. This idea usually comes with an idea of what a person of worth is. This idea affects the way that you talk, act, and think. It usually grows into depression which is bad for your physical health and usually leads to a shorter life.(2) It makes for less communication in life which leads to fewer opportunities for material and educational gain.
- High self-esteem affects every part of a persons life. This is the feeling that one is worth more then everyone else. This idea usually ignores other people as if they don't exist or believes others to be worth less. This idea affects the way you talk, act, and think. I usually grows into something like the idea of narcissism. It also usually comes with a lot of pride. Which I am defining here as believing that one is definitely right. Others usually find pride detesting in other people. Which will cause fewer people to prefer your company.
- Healthy self-esteem affects every part of a persons life. This is the feeling that all are worth equally as much. That no one person is worth more and that ones self is worth the same as all the rest. This way of living is non-offensive, meaning that people will generally favor you over people who are offensive. (most other people) This idea promotes world peace, shatters most propaganda,(3) and leads to a healthy lifestyle.(4)
Some delusions of low self-esteem
Delusions of self-esteem/ self-worth
I think people get the ideas that
- We need to be rich (5)
- We need to have fun
- we need to be happy
- we need to experience pleasure (6)
- we need to be smart
I think that the biggest delusion of self-esteem is that our worth is related to how happy we are. This alongside people not understanding happiness or contentment lead to confusion. In this confusion people will do things to try to reach happiness such as:
- Living for pleasures which never leaves a person truly happy
- Living for material things, of which they always need more
- Living for sex, which never satisfies fully
I think that happiness is a fine goal to have, However I believe it has nothing to do with your value. I believe that your value comes from your existence. In that you exist is your self-worth and it is equal to all others whom exist. In fact, I would argue that the purpose of life is to exist. (7)
My conclusion is that, It is delusions that cause low self-esteem and that simply existing is all that we are truly meant to do. Anything past simply being alive is extra credit. I don't mean to say that anything you do past being alive is better or worse for the amount that you are truly worth. I mean to say that it is a personal choice and irrelevant to the amount that you are worth.
Religious views on this idea
- Judea-christian: You are the sons and daughters of god. Your worth comes from god and his purpose for you. This purpose is to spread his word throughout the world. There are also different ideas, As quoted from a religious behavior support group, "I am a son/daughter of the most high king and I am blessed and highly favored", or We are all brothers and sisters in this life, No man is created as a better or worse, but all as equals.
- Hindu: The ideas of the Hindu prophet Osho is that you must see yourself as a blessing to yourself. In this way you can achieve self-esteem. It is also in serving the gods that you find your value.
- Buddhist: Some of the prevalent ideas are that you can take the love that you have towards others, maybe a niece, pet, or spouse. Identify that emotion of love that you have for them. Get a firm grasp on the feeling. Then take it and express that emotion towards at yourself. This is supposed to create a healthy self-esteem. Another way some view the idea is that, There is no separation of God from themselves. The God is them, Is god, Is others, If you can understand that... It is all one. God is in them and is them, as are you and I.
- (1) How do we get these ideas on purpose to life or the ideas of the what gives worth? We get it from others with the idea. We get them from advertising, We get them from jealousy. We get them from t.v. They are really assumed truths. It's kind of like saying that you love your car. The assumption is that you have a car. If I had walked in mid-conversation, I would believe that you in fact owned a car. Another, more realistic example is: "I can't believe that girl! I hate her for spreading those stories!" This assumes that the person has the right for other people to not tell stories, assumes that it is the subjects business what the other girl says about her and assumes that hate is the proper response to having your personal rights violated by others.
- (2) http://www.webmd.com/depression/news/20070906/depression-a-big-factor-in-poor-health
- (3) "The propagandists purpose it to make one set of people forget that certain other sets of people are human" - Aldous Huxley
- (4) http://www.hsph.harvard.edu/news/magazine/happiness-stress-heart-disease/
- (5) "I wish everyone could get rich and famous and have everything that they ever dreamed of so they could know that it is not the answer"- Jim Carrey
- (6) (hedonism: 1. the doctrine that pleasure or happiness is the highest good. 2. devotion to pleasure as a way of life.) I personally feel that this idea is not bad except that it is the highest good. I personally believe that purpose should come before pleasure. I need to develop more support for my idea. I will post it when I come to it.
- (7) If the purpose is to exist then you are doing a SPECTACULAR job at it! As if that wasn't enough, Everyone else is SPECTACULAR at it as well! None of these ideas that we get of, Purpose from things, pleasure, or respect make real sense! The word for people who believe in things that don't add up is delusional. This is an entirely different blog on Self-confidence though. I will release it within the next few weeks.