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Shit! I did it again.
Shit! I did it again.
By Tony DeLorger © 2011
Inevitable perhaps, but we are always astounded by the harshness of reproach when poor decisions are made. Repeating our behaviours is a common human trait, seamlessly replicating responses and expecting different results is imprinted in our psyche, but to what avail? Life is the greatest teacher, measuring our comeuppance by our stupidity; perfect balance a natural law. Why we don’t put the two together is nonsensical, but the fact we choose to ignore the evidence is perhaps why the results of our bad decisions and actions are so harsh.
When will we learn, recognise the pathway of our thoughts and responses to life? If you stick your finger in a power point, you get electrocuted. If you survive, you tend not to do it again; that’s sensible, revealing some intellect. But if we fall in love with an abusive, malcontent, end broke, beaten and alone, what do we do? Well many of us get well, back on our feet and do it all again. The new partner may not be abusive but perhaps equally wrong for us on some destructive level. You see we don’t see the connection, connect the dots as it were; to use a cliché –‘same horse, different jockey’ .
Either humanity is blind to itself or we are all masochists, placing ourselves in bad circumstances with some extraneous intent. If we learn from our mistakes and poor decisions our lives are so much easier, the benefits blatantly obvious. Eventually, one would think we would come to our senses and learn something. But for many that is not the case.
When awareness allows us to see clearly the errors of our ways, similar circumstances rarely happen again and we place ourselves in a far more productive and positive position. In relationships, a break up is an opportunity to question our choices and our motivations in choosing what we do. Often driven by experience and subconscious leanings we can choose people who offer something that fulfil some inadequacy or need in us, rather than meet on equal terms and share our lives. Symbiotic or co-dependant relationships cannot achieve fulfilment and happiness on any significant level. What usually happens is people change, no longer require the support or find someone else who offers more on that level. Failure is nearly always the result.
If we learn from our mistakes and become strong as an individual with some self-awareness and realisation, we are more likely to find someone in a similar circumstance. When these two people decide to share a life, it is no encumbered by past mistakes and conditioning. This relationship has real possibility.
Instead of looking in mirror and realising we’ve done it again, made some idiotic baseless decision, it would be preferable to spend some time reviewing our past folly. Being aware of it is always the first step to understanding and giving ourselves a shot at realising our dreams.