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Shy People

Updated on February 26, 2011

shy people are hard to talk to

You may know of a person that is extremely shy. I am sure you have attempted to make conversation, and fail. Shy people are hard to talk to. You can take steps to make a shy person talk. After all, how hard can it be to talk to a shy person? More than likely, it can be extremely difficult. If you have time, and you really want to get to know the shy person, follow these steps.

Do you know someone that is shy?

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take your time, don't put a shy person on the spot


 A shy person feels very awkward around people. Anything and everything that draws attention to them makes them want to hide.

Never put a shy person on the spot.  Keep it short and sweet. A simple hello does just fine. Once you have made your greeting, leave it at that.

After you have taken your time, (the amount of time you take depends on the person), you can gradually work your way up to conversation. For example, you have spent a week or two greeting the shy person with a simple hello. Next, it is time to add something else.

gradually get responses


After you have taken your time, (the amount of time you take depends on the person), you can gradually work your way up to conversation. For example, you have spent a week or two greeting the shy person with a simple hello. Next, it is time to add something else.

Ask the shy person how they are doing. You can gradually get responses from the shy person. Let the shy person speak, and keep your responses just as short as they do. For example, if you ask the shy person how they are doing, and you get a “fine, and you?” Give her the same response, and leave it at that for a while. Baby steps are necessary to getting the shy person to open up to you.

baby steps


When talking to a shy person, don’t do it in a way that is going to put him/her on the spot. Don’t bring a group of friends, and don’t ask them questions in front of a group of people that may put him/her on the spot.

Make sure your approach to the shy person is friendly, and genital. A shy person is often self-conscious.

After a while longer, try to ask the shy person a short question. Ask him/her how to do something. Perhaps something related to their job, if you two work at the same place.

You are gradually inviting the shy person to talk. If you take some time, you can get the shy person to open up. It is important to remember to take baby steps.

Are you shy?

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how to get over being shy


A shy person has a difficult time establishing eye contact, feeling comfortable in social settings.  Statistically speaking, shy people have fewer dates, find fewer jobs, and have lower self-esteem. It is estimated that forty percent of the population experiences shyness of some degree. About twenty percent of the population is shy because of genes. The good news is that most cases of shyness are temporary. Only a very small percent of the population stays shy. Knowing this, you can get over shyness.

When someone increases their social awareness, they become less shy naturally. You can get over being shy in the following ways:

eye contact


Increase your eye contact with others. It may be a bit awkward at first, but you will start to feel more at ease with it over time. Just push through this step, it is the first and most important step to getting over your shyness.



Initiate a conversation with others. Keep it small at first. Start by saying hello. You can keep from conversing if you say hello to someone only when passing by. Increase the amount you say to others as time goes by, and you feel more comfortable with people.

you are not on the spot


Realize that you are not on the spot. This step is also very important.  Most people are actually wondering what you are thinking about them. This may help you in your awkwardness.

Get out of your cage more. Go to the store more often, library, etc. Even small places increase your chances of social interaction, thus also increasing the chances of you getting over your shyness.

start slow

Interaction with people is a very important factor in getting over your shyness. If you take baby steps, you are slowly increasing your chances of being able to act comfortably with others. The trick to increase your social activity with people. You do not have to do this overnight. Start slow, kind of like you would if you were starting off physical exercise, and increase slow. You will find in time you have become a more confident person, and able to communicate with people more effectively. By doing this, not only have you increased your chances of getting more dates, but you will improve the quality of your life over all. After all, we are social creatures, and socializing is somewhat important.


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