What is Wrong in Being Shy?
Have you known of someone at some point in your life who was shy? Chances are you would have. If you did come across a shy person, and you yourself were not shy by any means, what was your reaction towards that shy person? Did you, for example, think they were arrogant or that they were abnormal, or unfriendly? Most people misunderstand the shy person. They are often labeled and made fun of, especially in their school and college lives. Even, later on, they are spoken of as being strange, weird, unfriendly, etc. It is quite unfortunate that shy people get treated like this. It starts with their own families, who put pressure on them to be "normal." When their own families don't understand them, in most cases, perhaps one shouldn't be surprised at how others view them!!
Life as a Shy Person & Some Famous Shy People
I have known how it is to be a shy person. I have been shy all my life. I have improved a bit on my shyness but am still essentially a shy individual and not much of a social person. You could say, I am a loner by choice and I like it that way. A lot of people don't understand that. Most think being shy is abnormal. I don't think it is. It is normal, if you aren't affected by it. If one feels acutely aware of being shy and wants to overcome it, then one should seek help, but not if you are totally okay with it, within you, as I am. I wouldn't, for example, categorize it as a "disease" as I've heard people describe shyness. I don't buy the argument too that being shy comes in the way of success. If one were to look around, one would be surprised at the number of successful people, who happened to be shy. Albert Einstein was shy and so was Abraham Lincoln, Thomas Edison, and countless others. Not all professions require you to be social too and so a shy person can be quite at home in a number of jobs. There are also shy people who can put up a social facade of being an extrovert to carry out their public duties, but yet be a very shy individual in their personal lives.
Being Shy as an Adult & as a Child - The Difference
Although as an adult, I can accept my shyness and can feel totally at home with it, when I was younger, I had problems with my shyness. As a child, dealing with shyness is harder. It is so because you have every one around you telling you that there is something wrong with you, including your parents, and you know no better and tend to believe something is really wrong with you. My parents didn't mean it, but they'd end up telling other people that I am shy in a bid to explain my absence when guests came calling for example. I had this thing; whenever we had guests come over - I would feel very shy to come and meet them. And so, they ended up labeling me as shy and then I'd get all sorts of advice from the guests too about ways to overcome my shyness. So, it was stressful. Also, as a child, I guess you need to feel part of a group and I had very few friends. One of my earliest memories is standing at the edge of a sports field, watching the other kids play. That was tough. So, being shy as a kid is different from being shy as an adult.
Parent of a Shy Child - The Do's and Don'ts
If you are a parent of a shy kid, you can do a lot of things to help your shy kid. Here are some of the do's and don'ts:
- Never ever describe your child as "shy" in front of others, including family members. Doing so would only reinforce the thought in their minds and would make them feel worse.
- Accept your child for who he/she is and emphasize and praise their positive qualities.
- Do not force your child into being what they are not - i.e. being an extrovert.
- In social situations, try to make things easier for your shy child by introducing him/her to other children or adults. Shy people don't usually make the first move, so do that for them. Try to be around them in case you notice them being alone, without any company.
- Build a relationship of trust with your shy child. Forcing them into social situations they dread won't do any good for building that trust. Do things with their consent and by easing their fears. That way, they'd approach you more easily if they need help.
While shyness should generally not be a cause of concern, in some cases, it could be a symptom of a larger emotional disorder. As a parent, one needs to use your best judgment in making the differentiation. I turned out pretty well in spite of my shyness, and I know of others who have too. So, if you are a shy person, you have really nothing to worry about or be ashamed of. Unless you let others' opinion of you affect you, you have no reason to question yourself or doubt yourself.
Shy Quotes By The Famous
I'm shy, paranoid, whatever word you want to use. I hate fame. I've done everything I can to avoid it.
I'm still a shy person. I've learned to put that aside on certain occasions. I have to. It's part of my job.
It was very natural for me to want to disappear into dark theater, I am really very shy. That is something that people never seem to fully grasp because, when you are an actor, you are meant to be an exhibitionist.
The fact of the matter is that most actors are shy people.
I'm not shy in the spotlight. I might seem austere and even arrogant, but far from it, I'm actually shy.
Riccardo Muti (Italian conductor)
I'm not a real social person - I'm shy - and a lot of the business is just social.
I can go in front of an orchestra. I can go in front of an audience. But if you see me walking through an audience in the reception or through a lot of people, I'm still shy.
Kurt Masur (German conductor)
The flower that smells the sweetest is shy and lowly