What Boys Do Not Learn In Sex Ed
Some teen girls are willing to go to extremes to have a child. This is something not commonly discussed in sex education classes, along with the difficulties faced by boys who learn the girl they have been having sex with is, or may be, pregnant . According to a survey of 10,000 girls by the Tyra Banks Show, 20% of girls over age 12, WANT TO BE TEEN MOMS. Below are some answers to questions posed on Internet Q&A Sites.
Want To Be Teen Moms
From The Dads House National Moderator:
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Questions & Answers
- If I get a girl pregnant, will I be responsible for child support, though I'm too young to work?
- What would be my rights to the child?
- A girl I had sex with got pregnant; however she has also slept with other boys. She has not named the father, can I still be held responsible for Child Support?
- Can I demand a Paternity test to be done if I think I'm the father of a child?
- My girlfriend is much older, and she is pregnant. Since I'm underage, and she is an adult, do I have to pay child support since she committed a crime?
- I used protection, but the girl still got pregnant.
- I only had oral sex with a girl, yet she is now claiming that she is pregnant by me. How can this be possible?
- If my girlfriend gets pregnant, but does not want the child, can I stop her from getting an abortion?
- My pregnant girlfriend says she plans to put my child up for adoption. Can she do this without my permission?
- A Final Thought From An Old Fart!
This material is provided by the Dads House Educational Center & Groups, with over
two decades of educating Divorced and Single Fathers on their Rights and Responsibilities as Parents. ©
If I get a girl pregnant, will I be responsible for child support, though I'm too young to work?
Yes, regardless of your age, you are still responsible. If you cannot work, the court will set a presumed amount and set the obligation on your parents, attaching their wages. If for any reason their wages cannot be attached, then arrears will accumulate, plus up to 18% yearly penalties, until which time you get a job.
For a minimum $50 per month child support payment, the accumulated amount yearly, plus interest, would be $708. Once you get a job, aside from the fact the payment will be increased to match your earnings, 50% of your "gross income" would be attached to pay the arrears.
What would be my rights to the child?
Your rights are very limited. In no US State, as well as most countries, do males who have fathered a child with a female he is not married to have any "presumed rights" to the child. Only Germany has such a law, which their legislature was ordered to pass by the German Supreme Court in September of 2010.
Any rights must be granted by the courts, at a cost of upwards of $3000 in attorney fees. This is regardless of whether you are listed on the birth certificate, or even have been living with the mother for some period of time. Further, in most states, being ordered to pay child support does not automatically grant you any rights to see the child.
A girl I had sex with got pregnant; however she has also slept with other boys. She has not named the father, can I still be held responsible for Child Support?
Yes in all states, if you are the father. However, though rare, there are circumstances, under which you could be ordered to pay, if you are the only male she can clearly identify as a potential father. In 20 states, once a child support order is put into place, it cannot be overturned, regardless of paternity.
Can I demand a Paternity test to be done if I think I'm the father of a child?
Yes, this can be done by court order, and should be if there is ANY CHANCE you may be the father. Depending on the state where she is living at the time she files, she can wait up to 23 years to name the father of her child, and file for up to 18 years of retroactive child support. At the maximum, for a minimum wage earner, this would come to at least $52,000. Added to that would also be interest penalties (3% to 18% per year), which at the minimum, could double the amount.
My girlfriend is much older, and she is pregnant. Since I'm underage, and she is an adult, do I have to pay child support since she committed a crime?
Yes, there are no allowed defenses against being ordered to pay child support. Though an adult female can be jailed for having sex with a minor, the child will go to her relatives, or into state foster care, either of whom can seek child support from you, and/or your parents. Due to being underage, neither you nor your parents have standing in the courts to file for custody.
I used protection, yet the girl I was having sex with still got pregnant.
It should be noted that studies show that 20% of sexually active girls, age 12-18, are TRYING TO GET PREGNANT. For one desiring to do so, there are always ways to circumvent any form of protection, the most common of which is to offer to place the condom on for the boy, while punching it with a fingernail for that it appears to have ripped. It should also be noted that according to the United Nations World Health Organization, the Spermicidal Cream in condoms have a limited shelf life of effectiveness.
I only had oral sex with a girl, yet she is now claiming that she is pregnant by me. How can this be possible?
In 2005, Dr. Richard O. Phillips of Illinois, was ordered to pay child support after only having oral sex with a woman, who became pregnant. She had made use of a Self Insemination Kit, available online, to impregnate herself. Note that as it is with women having sex with a minor, the cause of the pregnancy is not considered a defense against paying child support. Some teen girls are willing to go to extremes to have a child.
If my girlfriend gets pregnant, but does not want the child, can I stop her from getting an abortion?
No. Regardless of your personal, political, or religious views, the law of the land grant females of all ages this right. This is something one must consider before making a choice of character, as in having sex outside marriage.
My pregnant girlfriend says she plans to put my child up for adoption. Can she do this without my permission?
This is a controversial area that has been in the news in the last 12 months. In Ohio, for six years, a couple has fought against the father of their adopted child, who from right after the time of the birth, has tried to gain custody of his child that the mother place up for adoption. He finally won custody in December, but the case is not being appealed to the US Supreme Court.
The laws on your right to stop an adoption vary from state to state. In Kansas, you must be paying for 50% of the financial cost of the pregnancy, starting within eight weeks of conception. This can be difficult is you did not know she was pregnant, or claimed you were not the father.
In some states, you must register with the state any time you have sex with a female, to whom you are not married, in order to challenge any possible adoption.
Most states have Putative Father registries, whereas you must register within 24-hours or up to two months, following the birth. However, they do not advertise this fact.
Many fathers have found, as a result of not registering, that they cannot stop the adoption, even after they have begun paying child support. Further, in states with Safe Haven Laws, the mother has up to one year to abandon the child, "NO QUESTIONS ASKED", which can happen after the father has been ordered to pay child support.
The Pregnancy Pact
The Pregnancy Pact is a 2010 television film directed by Rosemary Rodriguez and stars Thora Birch, Madisen Beaty, and Camryn Manheim. The film is based on a 2007 media circus surrounding teenagers in Gloucester, Massachusetts who allegedly had a pregnancy pact. Click here for the Wikipedia article.
A Final Thought
At age 55, it has been many years since I was a teenager, but a day does not go by that I do not look back and wonder about the choices I made, and the path those choices have set in my life. We all make choices that lead to unexpected, and often, disastrous results. With this material, I am not trying to tell you what to do with your lives, only to be fully informed about the possible problems that sexual activity can lead to.
You are not alone in learning the hard way drawbacks of these choices. Adult males face the exact same problems, and lack of basic civil rights when they have relations with, and/or cohabit with a female to whom they are not married. They are facing these problems because like you, they were not taught about them while in middle and high school.
I only ask that you take to heart what you have been presented with here, and to post this to your Social Networks, as well as text this link to all your male friends. Answer the Poll below and post your own comments about this subject. Ask your schools why this info is not being given out. It is your life, and your future, that is being affect by this lack of knowledge.
If you are already a father, check out the Fathers' Rights Educational Manual on how to address your rights, and how to deal with issues like child support and access rights.
George R. McCasland, Moderator
Dads House Educational Center
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Poll: What Do You Think?
POLL: Should boys in Middle & High Schools be taught more about how they lose many basic civil rights if they become a single father?
Promotional Card - 3Â½" X 2" Business Card Size
Click on image for PDF file. Consider printing it on business cardstock, found at Walmart, Target, or anywhere that carries business supplies, then give it out to teenage boys.