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Ten Signs That Show You Need Counselling

Updated on August 3, 2015

Pay Attention to the Signs!

There's always a sign that shows you the way!
There's always a sign that shows you the way! | Source

When you hear the word “counselling” the first thought that pops into most people’s minds is instability, insanity or mental breakdown. People often associate counselling with negative aspects such as marriage problems, behavioral problems, dysfunctionality or even psychiatric meltdowns. It is often dumped on the banner of “therapy” and though that may be right to a certain extent, but counselling is a lot more than just dealing with negative implications.

Counselling is defined as “the process of assisting (helping) and guiding an individual(s) by a trained professional to resolve any problems pertaining to social, mental, and psychological situations.” A counselor is trained to empathize with people (not feel sorry for them or be emotionally involved in their dilemma) meaning they literally walk a mile in your shoes, so they know which way you should and should not go. Every person has come across some sort of advice in their lifetime and if you haven’t or have never experienced anyone giving you any kind of advice then you need to pay attention and read this article till the very end.

Counselling is for Everyone

Let’s first get rid of the notion that counselling is just for crazy people. Though people that have mental breakdowns are ideal candidates for counselling, but even people that are normal often have some kind of battle they are going through and need counselling. We all go through so many different paths in our lives, so it is virtually impossible for one to wonder around this life without encountering someone or something that advices them on what steps to take. So whether you’re black or white, green or blue, fat or thin, rich or poor, tall or short, handsome or ugly, we all need help in some area of our lives and this is where counselling (and not therapy) comes in. We don’t all have it together as it may look or feel like we do. We often create a lie and live in the lie and become comfortable in the lie and convince ourselves that we don’t need counselling.

In the wake of the recent shooting tragedies that have occurred in the USA, it’s safe to say that if certain signs that were exhibited by these perpetrators were dealt with by counselling, then catastrophes like these would have been easily avoided. So, if you or any person close to you are exhibiting the following signs, then you must seek guidance and counselling immediately.

Isolation and loneliness is major sign that someone needs counseling.
Isolation and loneliness is major sign that someone needs counseling. | Source

  1. Isolation (NOT solitude) – There is a huge difference between isolation and solitude. Solitude means you take time out to be by yourself so that you can discover who you are and take a break from people (recharging your batteries). Isolation means completely withdrawing from human contact and not wanting to interact with anything or anyone. You retreat into a cocoon of your own and convince yourself that isolation is the only way to deal with whatever issues you’re going through. This is a basic and common sign to look out for. If you (or someone you know) is experiencing isolation, you must seek help immediately. Human beings were not created to be alone and you cannot function properly if you’re constantly alone.
  2. Mood Swings – This is not just something that happens to women during “that time of the month.” Mood swings can happen to anyone and at any time. If you notice that you’re moods are suddenly off the charts and you’re constantly battling to control your hormones, then you need to speak to a counselor.
  3. Constantly Happy – this is the trickiest sign that most people overlook. As long as you live in this world, it is virtually impossible for you to be happy twenty four hours a day, seven days a week. You can try, but at some point you will break down. Overly cheerful and happy people often have deep dark buried secrets and they use the banner of “happiness” to cover their dark side and problems. In fact the majority of people who are always “happy” are usually not as happy as they look. So if you are constantly happy by trying too hard to be happy, then you need some guidance and counselling. If you have or know someone in your life who looks like it’s all good for them, watch them carefully. They are good at hiding their inner and darker secrets and acting happy is usually the method they use to avoid dealing with their issues.
  4. Addicted to social media – We can all relate to social media these days as everyone uses it in some way or another. However, there are some people who go beyond overboard by sharing literally every second of their life. People who are always online and constantly posting pictures of either their babies, their vacation, their private moments etc, these people exhibit what we call Selfish Attention Deficient Disorder (SADD), where they cannot function unless someone pays a compliment to them or someone talks about them, or they are center of the universe. Constant craving for attention is an illness that needs deep counselling to get rid of it.
  5. Workaholics – being a workaholic has got nothing to do with actual working. It is a mechanism and construction that some people use to avoid dealing with the issues that are persistent in their lives. For instance people who have relationship troubles (divorces & separations) often hide under the banner of “workaholic” because they do not know or are unable to handle their current family crisis. Even single people that devout themselves to working is simply a tactic to avoid dating or getting close to another human being after experiencing failure from a previous relationship. Being a workaholic is like a distraction that you invent so you don’t have to or you can avoid dealing with the actual problem.

Talking to a qualified counselor can save your life and the life of others
Talking to a qualified counselor can save your life and the life of others | Source

  1. Recurring thoughts of self/ torment – The mind of a human being is one complex arena and no matter how close you are to a person, you cannot and will never know what is going on in their minds. Though they are some obvious signs like anger or alcoholism, but they are some instances where you just don’t know or comprehend what a human being is capable of doing. (Remember Robin Williams?) So if you have recurring thoughts of harming yourself or you suspect someone may have these thoughts then super guidance is critical.
  2. Depression – This is the biggest trigger that should alert you that counselling is needed. Depression comes in many forms and shape and often people who are depressed never show that they are depressed. But you can easily sense a depressed person as they exhibit obvious signs like grumpiness, always shortcoming, drinking and smoking way too much, being a party animal or an extreme introvert/extrovert etc. Basically depression is when you behave outside the normal zones (you’re either too happy, too sad, too joyful, too angry etc) and you don’t balance the behavioral scale.
  3. Over Travelling – Now this may sound odd to you but according to a study that was conducted by scientists at Harvard University, it found that people who travel a lot are more likely to be unstable and to a certain extend depressed and they are looking for a way out. Yes travelling is good and we all need a break from time to time but when you’re constantly globetrotting (whether for business or pleasure) it is a sure indicator that you don’t have a balanced life and you don’t want to be in your natural born environment because you cannot deal and handle with the difficult situations that you have left. According to the scientists, they found that travelling alters your mind so that when you go to different destinations, you apply the trick of forgetfulness to your mind so you don’t have to deal with whatever baggage you have left at home. If that’s you, or someone you know, again seek a counselor.
  4. Obsession of celebrities and famous people – Thanks to modern day media, we are constantly bombarded with celebrities and lives of famous people every second. They give us a picture of luxury, comfort and freedom to do what we want. Sadly they are some people who are so engrossed in the lives of these famous people that they copy everything that these people do and say and even what they wear. If you find yourself always looking to a famous person for inspiration then you need to pump your brakes and seek immediate counselling. Emulating someone else is killing your uniqueness and identification as an individual that can’t be found anywhere else but in you.
  5. Sexual addictions – Sex is now the major cause of the problems we face in the world today and it’s simply because we have twisted the meaning and comprehension of sex. People no longer understand what sex stands for and what sex really is and therefore it has become a perverted action instead of it being a beautiful sentiment that is shared only with two individuals who love and care for one another. Now thanks to the media again sex is everywhere and it’s all a gross misconduct (pornography and extreme perversion). If you or anyone you know is involved in any forms of sexual dysfunction, then guidance is mandatory and critical.

How to spot the signs that you need counselling

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    • Ask Jelly Baby profile image

      Jelly Baby 2 years ago from United Kingdom

      Hello Bill,

      Your father sounds like an awesome man and I'm sorry he's no longer with you. But hey at least he left us you so I'm thankful to him for you too. It is true that fatherly advice is usually the best advice one can get. I don't get along with my dad (never had since I was born) so I envy you that you had a wonderful dad. So you can step in and be my dad on hubpages if you don't mind! Thank you for your lovely comment.

    • Ask Jelly Baby profile image

      Jelly Baby 2 years ago from United Kingdom

      Hello John

      I believe that if people received counselling and guidance frequently half of the problems we have today wouldn't exist. It's why I became a counselor. Far too many people are timid, scared, too proud to admit they need help. It's why I decided to launch that site. If I can help anyone with my words alone, then at least it's worth it. Thank you for you lovely comment.

    • Ask Jelly Baby profile image

      Jelly Baby 2 years ago from United Kingdom

      Hello Mel,

      Thank you for you lovely comment. Agree entirely that counselling is therapeutic. Have a great Sunday!

    • billybuc profile image

      Bill Holland 2 years ago from Olympia, WA

      I love your opening statement that counseling is for everyone and everyone needs it. Very true statement in my opinion. My greatest advisor and supporter was my father and he died when I was twenty. Forty-six years later I still miss him terribly. I would love to have his counsel, even now. Life is not easy and we all need that kind of support. Very well done. Welcome to HP. I'm glad you are here.

    • Jodah profile image

      John Hansen 2 years ago from Queensland Australia

      Jelly Baby, I commend you on your web site offering free counselling to people. What a badly needed and worthy cause because there are so many people who are too scared to actually see a counselor in person.

    • Mel Carriere profile image

      Mel Carriere 2 years ago from San Diego California

      Sometimes just discussing our problems openly with someone else is therapeutic, so in that respect we all need counseling, whether it be from a friend, family member, or a professional. Great hub!

    • Ask Jelly Baby profile image

      Jelly Baby 2 years ago from United Kingdom

      Thank you very much for you lovely comment. It still amazes me how a lot of people are either clueless or don't know that they need counselling. There are so many signs that scream out for counselling but sadly most are overlooked. Cheers for the vote up. Appreciate it.

    • Jodah profile image

      John Hansen 2 years ago from Queensland Australia

      What a fantastic first hub Jelly Baby, and full of great information and advice. I never knew that excessive travelling was a sign of an avoidance problem that would need conselling, but it makes sense. Voted up. Thanks for following me too.