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That used to be Me
That used to be Me
By Tony DeLorger © 2011
Sometimes I’ll look in the mirror and find myself scrutinising my image, unsure of its authenticity. The lack of recognition is the fact that I rarely take much notice and when I do, the changes unsettle me. I see myself as the man I was, the man I am and the man I could be all conglomerated into a transient image.
My mind associates with the past, how I looked, what I’ve been, and then sees the present, who I am. The future is a dream and therefore a mental projection, and with the alternative views, is not consistent with what I see. I find myself confusing, an enigma of reality.
Age is a confronting concept because it marks us ever closer to the end of physical life. Life moves so quickly we become complacent in marking the time. We then find ourselves dealing with the ramifications of getting older rather than the idea of it. Joints pain, muscles ache, eyesight fails. Hair grows where you don’t want it to and doesn’t grow where it used to. Your shape becomes distorted in all the wrong areas and what’s worse, words leave your mind like birds released and we stand there tongue-tied, feeling mentally inept and embarrassed.
So when reality hits, and we see where we are, have been and maybe how we’ll end up, life is dampened somehow. It’s the gentle but not so subtle nudge that we’d better get on with what we want to do before it’s too late, time runs out.
Life is all about perceptions, how we observe and understand various aspects of life and afford them truth in our eyes. That is why we are all so individual; we see everything through our eyes only and therefore can gain a singular understanding that no-one else can attain.
How we see ourselves can be driven by memory, present circumstance and our dreams and can in a way be far from the truth, rather a chosen perspective. We can learn much about ourselves from how we associate with our image, what we see. We are in fact a metaphor for our lives, each line and fault a representation of what has been and what remains. Understanding our thoughts about how we appear is an interesting process that can unlock secrets, reveal truths yet realised.
Age is a process that follows regardless of our attitude, and one that must be accepted. How we then appear ageing may be distressing for some, but ultimately our lives change and mirror that maturity. Acceptance and appreciation for life is all that can be felt, knowing that understanding and wisdom is a sound substitute for youth.
So next you look in a mirror, consider what you see and make peace with yourself. You are like no other and what you’ve been, what you are and will become stares back at you with undeniable truth.