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The Art of Shutting Up

Updated on July 22, 2012

©2009 Dorothy W. Parker All Rights Reserved

“Shut Up” already” have you ever been around someone who talks too much, or say they are shy, but every chance they get they talk your head off. Yup! I know plenty of those folks. The art of talking has nothing to do with quantity. The art of talking is about quality of words, quality of content and quality of purpose. If you are talking just to be heard than I am sure, you have experienced avoidance often. All of us have been told to “Shut Up” many times in our lives, especially by our parents.

Many times, we may have said the wrong thing, embarrassed someone, or just out right talked too much. Whatever our reason for being told to “Shut Up”, we did not like it, at all. Something inside of us just got offended and we had a negative reaction to being told to “Shut Up”.

“Shut Up”, because shutting up may save your life, it may be the very act of shutting up that will allow room for the right person to come into your life who will bring the change you need. As a counselor, I have encountered many clients, who come to me for counseling, but once they sat down, I never got one word in. When the session was over, I was shocked and stunned at the same time. If it was a couple, I felt sorry for the spouse, if it was a parent I felt bad for the children, however, if it was and individual I felt sorry for their life.

Is it even possible to shut a person up, who is in love with talking, I do not think so, I know because I happen to fall in that category. I love to talk; I would not be able to write this book if I did not like words. However talking is never the issue, knowing when to “Shut Up” is.

Try this the next time you encounter a loud mouth, know it all; right when they are about to make a point, distract them with an off the wall question, and watch how strategic they become in bringing the question, right back in line with the point they tried to make. Talkers are strategist; they can talk about any topic. Their strategy has nothing to do with listening to you it is about you listening to them.

No matter how much I talk at the same time I am listening. Many people I talk to, have learned how to talk around me but they have not learned how to communicate with me.

Often I have been in heated conversations, because I have been misunderstood. I feel it is my duty not to leave a conversation until I am understood, not necessarily agreed with. Most of the time it is hard to be understood when you have been misunderstood. This is when shutting up comes into play. This is when listening becomes the action of the day.

Shutting up is most often seen as offensive? I have been told most of my life to “Shut Up”. Telling someone to “Shut Up” gives him or her, the impression they have being perceived negatively. When you embark on a life-changing endeavor, shutting up is always on the menu.

Learning the art of shutting up can be a difficult art to master, especially when you associate yourself with your words. When what you say is perceived as negative you take it personally, but that is not always the case, words are just what they are, words. Nevertheless, those words can be offensive, hurtful, humiliating, obtrusive, negative, wrong, etc… It is always how they are heard by the hearer.

“The power of life and death is in the tongue”. This means that what you say can produce life or it can produce death, it all depends on what you say. Therefore, you can use your words to produce life or death. So, it is important to know when to speak and when to “Shut Up”!

How, important is what you say when you are on a spiritual journey?

  • Words should be chosen carefully,
  • They should be choice diamonds and used rarely.

The reader must understand that it is more important that you know what you are talking about than just knowing how to talk. You can enhance your life by adding more words, but you have to come to some type of understanding, of all the stuff you think you already know. Only when you take a season to “Shut Up” will you come to a life changing knowledge of what the bleep you think you know.

I know a lot, but knowing a lot and knowing what to do with all that I know is a horse of a different color. I must at all times know how to strategically use everything within my power to help transform my life into what I have been purposed to be.

I have yet to read one self-help book that will tell its readers to “Shut Up”! That could cost you sells, but I am not your average self-help writer, I am on the cutting edge and I believe time is of the essence if we are going to reach this generation.

We have too many people talking and not enough people shutting up.!

“Shutting up” can be creative. “Shut Up” simply means

  • To be silent
  • Shut out the noise
  • Stop talking
  • Close the door
  • Stop the flow of communication
  • Etc…

“Shut Up” has so many meanings,

  • To a child “Shut Up” is offensive,
  • To a bully “Shut Up” is a challenge,
  • To an adult “Shut Up” is disrespectful.

However, in this writing, “Shut Up” means to be silent, stop the flow of noise, stop talking, close the door, and stop the flow of communication.

Why is that necessary, because until you know what the bleep you know you need to be in a posture of silence? Silence allows you the opportunity to cleanse yourself of ideas and information that block the flow of creative thinking.

There are many synonyms for shutting up one is “end”. Many things in our lives need to come to an end. Until we can end some things we aren’t open for new, creative ideas. To end means “closing stages’. Now you can go to the next stage in your life, simply by shutting up, bringing areas in your life that are self-sabotaging to an end.


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