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The Best Life Quotes-Funny Everyday Quotes and Sayings

Updated on September 7, 2014

The Best Life Quotes

There are those sayings and quotes that we hear everyday in life. They are not attributed to any particular person,but we keep on saying and hearing them.

We just wonder why we have these everyday happenings which just happe

Everyday Quotes

On truth and lies..

It is not a lie if you believe it.

I've told you a million times don't exaggerate.

On work..

Work is the curse of the drinking classes.

You don't have to be mad to work here but it helps.

On shopping..

Anything you buy will be will be in the sales next week.

If it is any good they will stop making it,


It works better if you plug it in.

Warning. Remove child before folding. Instructions on a pushchair.

When all else fails read the instructions.

Aircraft travellers just know.........

The strength of the turbulence is directly proportional to the temperature of your coffee.

The first piece of luggage on the carousel never belongs to anyone.


Car repairs.....

Any tool you drop while repairing your car, will roll beneath the vehicle to it's exact centre.


The quickest way to turn a red light green is to look for something in the glove compartment.

On children......

Any child will run an errand for you if you ask at bedtime.

Toddlers are more likely to eat healthy food if they find it on the floor.

The Weather......

Bad weather always looks worse through a window.

One way to help the weather make up its mind is to hang out the washing.

Eating out...

 The longer the description on the menu, the less you get on your plate.

 No matter how many tables are free, you will always be given the worst available.

If their is a fancy tassel on the menu,you can add a couple of dollars per person.

The mail.....

Good news rarely comes in a brown envelope.


We wonder why ?....

Wrong numbers are never engaged.

When ripping an article from a newspaper the tear is always into the article and never away from it.

When you buy a first-aid kit you start having accidents.

How do you get non-stick stuff to stick to non-stick pans.

Every house has a bunch of odd keys, but they never fit anything.

A shortcut is the longest distance between two points.


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    • MsDora profile image

      Dora Weithers 3 years ago from The Caribbean

      "If it is any good they will stop making it." Now, that's something I believe. Interesting!