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The Dragons that Dwell Within Me
What am I supposed to do with the dragons that dwell in my soul?
Do I have to acknowledge them or ignore them?
They pester my soul, hurting me enough to leave me crying in the darkness of countless nights;
My days are filled with fears and insecurities;
Leaving me inconsolable sadness as the clock continues to tick endlessly;
Over the years I had learned to handle and tame my Yellow Dragon of Jealousy;
I just showed it the value of my life and it had learned to leave me alone;
The wildest and probably the untamable dragon I have is the Green Dragon of Suspicion;
This dragon was born when I started realizing that those people I love the most and who I should trust lie to me;
This dragon alerts me of the signs of betrayals and no matter how I wanted to ignore its warnings;
It keeps pounding in my head the presence of these enemies in my horizon;
This dragon won’t leave me alone;
It creates a web of stories such as;
“Jenny listen and be assertive…observe the sequence of events…first he knows you are going someplace at your scheduled chat time, but you said to him that you will have the chat first before you leave…do you notice his reaction? And what happened in the chat? Things went wrong;
You had to leave prematurely…”
This dialogue within me makes me sad the whole day even if I am in the midst of people in celebration of some important affairs in life;
Then in the next encounter the dragon continues its story “Jenny look! He is on day off today after that event; don’t be stupid he is having a date! Don’t listen to his denials and lies…aren’t that people you love lie to you and betray you?”
These allegations of my dragon stab my soul with double-edged sword, it hurts so much, it’s like old wounds are stabbed again before it can even have a chance to heal and become scars;
For the life of me; I really don’t know what to do…cry and cry I did but there is nothing I can do to change the situation;
Then a voice from within says “Jenny, it doesn’t really matter whether the story of this dragon is right or wrong; Listen to what is sensible and on what you deserve; You have a beautiful life that is meant to be; You have beautiful people who love you; You are loving and lovable; You are rich in love and Happiness will bestow you all the blessings and fortunes you deserve; Take care of your own heart; Maintain a stable emotional state by appreciating what you already possess; The dragons are there to alert you but it is still up to you to choose which way to go;”
So what will I do with this dragon?
Here’s what I have to say “Green dragon, right or wrong you may be, I am still me and I know what I want; What’s more is I always get what I want and deserve regardless of people, time, situation and circumstances;
This dragon should recognize how strong I am.