The Fruits of Action - 3
Anybody who knows the connotation of the ‘fruits’ of action will easily understand the dream!
In the dream, I was seated in the same auditorium that was now hosting the Summer Course. Swami is distributing slices of muskmelon to everyone. Swami was soon about to come into my row of seats to distribute ‘fruits’. I then saw that I had some slices of fruit already in my hand. I tried to throw them aside so that I could get the fruits that Swami was giving. I also took out fruit that was in my mouth and tried to throw it away. Swami saw me and said, “Finish those fruits first. I shall then give you these.” Swami then saw a camera in my hand and frowned. I kept the camera down and quickly ate the fruits that He had referred to. The frown on His face disappeared. I beseeched Him to come near me.
Then I told Him, “Swami I am sorry! You know everything right?”
He simply smiled broadly at me and I felt so happy.
“I want to start getting my camera, sitting in front and shooting again.”
“No objection”, was His reply. He was now sitting beside me on the chair. I asked, “Swami, can I get the camera tomorrow itself?” He again repeated, “No objection.” Then He rose from the chair and left.
I woke up and felt so light in the heart. So all that had happened was me ‘eating the fruits’ that I had gathered. Only when those fruits were eaten could my hands be free to receive the fruits He wanted to give. And the dream signified that my fruits had been consumed. I decided that I would take my camera right away. But how was I to get the ‘permission slip’ necessary to take my camera into the hall? The person in charge for giving permission slips had been specially told about my ban.
Not bothering too much about it, I had my bath and found myself whistling joyously too. I got ready and then went to the person in charge for the camera chit. I told him, “Sir, I would like to take my camera for darshan today.” He simply nodded and signed me a permission slip! Was I amazed.
I went to the first lines along with the ‘birthday boys’. Swami came for darshan. As He neared me, I was wondering what would happen. Nothing happened - neither a smile, nor a blast. I was happy with that and had some satisfaction welling within me. That satisfaction was only short-lived.
The teacher in charge of the audio department called me and asked, “How come you are sitting in the front?”
“Sir! The problem got solved now.”, I replied.
“I asked the warden. He said nothing about the problem being solved.”
“Sir! The problem was never between me and warden. It was between me and Swami and it is solved.”
It is little wonder that I was summoned to the warden’s office.
“Boy! You were lucky today morning. It is hardly 4 days since Swami was so upset and you openly flouted what i told you.”
“Sir! These four days have felt like forty for me! Swami came in my dream and told me that He had not objection. So I will no longer stick to my ban.”
“Are you sure about this?”
“I am very sure sir. In fact, tomorrow is my duty to be in the audio room. I would like to resume that.”
“Swami is definitely going to see you there before He goes for darshan!”
“I know and I want to do it.”
“You might lose your place in the college...”
“Sir! If Swami kicks me out, I shall leave for it is His will. I am not scared anymore.”
I walked out of the room. I was very sure that if any ‘mishap’ were to take place, I would get the ‘I-told-you-so’ look from warden. I began to pray to Swami about the next day morning when i would stand right next to the blue carpet on which he would go walking towards the darshan hall. I would be all alone there. But I was comforted by two things - one was the dream. The second was the fact that Swami usually walked looking at the ground and carpet in the area that I would be standing. He would look up only after the devotees came in sight. I thought that most probably Swami would pass by me without even noticing me. It was with these thoughts that I welcomed the 3rd of June, 2002.
I arrived early to Swami’s residence and set up all the mikes and other audio system. When everything was ready, I took Swami’s handkerchief from His chair in our room and kept it in readiness in my pocket. I usually carried a handkerchief for Him always anyway. Then, I took my position by the side of the carpet. I was praying that everything should go on fine. And then, Swami arrived. A hush fell over the entire place.
Swami came walking down the carpet, looking down at the carpet all the while. I was relaxing a bit for things were indeed working out exactly as I had thought. He came just three feet away from me. I could smell His wonderful fragrance even though I held my breath. But then! He stopped right in front of me. My heart skipped a beat. He looked into my eyes. I was inwardly screaming, “Swami! You said that you had no objections and so I came. Do not scold me...”
“Where are the fruits?”, He asked.
I was dumbstruck. I immediately remembered my dream and was about to say, “Swami I ate them”, but I stopped. I saw far into the background where students stood in readiness with basketfuls of mangoes. I realized that mangoes would be distributed as prasadam today. So I said, “Swami the fruits are there.” He smiled. He looked at the boys and called one of them. He felt the mangoes and told me, “These should be distributed after the bhajans.”
I nodded with an understanding smile and offered the kerchief to Him as His hands had been ‘soiled’ by the touch of mangoes. He took it, wiped His hands and playfully threw it back at my face. He beamed another smile and walked on. Everything became so clear for me.
Once the message becomes clear, the messenger ceases to exist. Anger was simply a messenger here!
The warden and my teacher in charge came to me and broadcast smiles. They said, “Swami is so happy with you.”
I was again crying!
It is 2012 now and I still work for Him at the Radiosai Digital Studios.
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