The Idea of Pride, Listening and Faith
If you read anything that you don't agree with please tell me. Without your input I am limited to only what I can research and think of. With one comment you could shed years from my ignorance.
Over my life I have realized that not many people can clearly define pride. This is the definition by dictionary.com
1.a high or inordinate opinion of one's own dignity, importance, merit,or superiority, whether as cherished in the mind or as displayed inbearing, conduct, etc
2.the state or feeling of being proud.
3.a becoming or dignified sense of what is due to oneself or one's position or character; self-respect; self-esteem.
This is the definition by wikipedia.org https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pride
I'm just gonna throw this definition out. I don't need their language rules! I'm trying to get stuff done! For this article Pride is going to be defined as: When you think that you are definitely right. I think you will see that it fits perfectly.
Conflicts in communication
If you really think about it the only time when problems arise between people in communication is when both are certain that they are correct on an issue. Conflicts arise because you are certain of your side, Then the next person is also certain of their side. In reality it would be really difficult for a person to know all that there is to be known and you probably have at least something wrong.
If you look at politics, Bernie Sanders supporters are certain that they are correct, while Trump supporters are also certain that they are correct. They can't both be correct. If you look at religion, Christians are sure that they are correct, Baptists are certain that they are correct, Buddhists are certain that they are correct, Hindus are certain that they are correct, Muslims are certain that they are correct and each other religion is also certain that they are correct. They can't all be correct. So who is right? we can't all be right at the same time. Am I right? Are you right? Are the Muslims right? Are the Trump supporters right? There are a lot of people in the world, all positive that their sides are correct. So did you get it right? Did I get it right?
We all had to start out in this life knowing nothing at all. It is okay to not have the answer to something. Really if someone corrects you on something, It is something that you should be grateful for not something that you should get defensive about. Every time you learn something you can move further in life. I like to use this metaphor, Although I am a socialist. If you give a homeless man a million dollars he will end up back on the streets worse off then before you gave him the million dollars. When self-made millionaires go broke they bounce right back about 90% of the time. It isn't the money that makes a difference it is the lessons that they learned in life.
How it holds you back in life
They do a lot of studies on chimps https://en.wikipedia.org /wiki/Primate_cognition One thing that they realized is that chimps never ask questions. They are self assured. We have taught them thousands of signs and they can speak fluently in sign language but for some reason they cannot imagine that anyone knows something that they don't. This is what happens when you are sure that you have all of the answers. You become stunted in your growth, Like a monkey!
It happens to small business owners a lot. They think that they have the best way of running a business and that there isn't a better way. At that point they stop growing. There must be a better way though because people are bigger then them.
Pride and Confidence
Pride and Confidence aren't the same thing, although some people confuse them. Pride is when you are sure that you are correct, for example
A Medical Doctor compared to a Hollistic Doctor. Confidence would be to know that possible the Hollistic Doctor has some things right and you are open to being wrong. Pride Would be to say that the Hollistic Doctor is definitely a quack on all points.
In religion, Pride would be to say that your religion is definitely correct, Faith would be to say that you aren't sure but you choose to believe in it. Confidence would be to know that you aren't sure and confidently have faith anyways.
The problem with pride is that you cannot prove that anything you see exists, You cannot prove that the world is round, you cannot prove that other people exist, you cannot prove that your god exists. You cannot really prove anything. Other people know that. That's why they get so mad when you tell them that you are correct. It is better to say that you aren't sure but you choose to believe. That won't offend anyone.
Living without Pride
Einstien said that insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results. If you break that down you could say that that means that insanity would be to not be in a state of learning. So the reverse to that would be to say that, To be in a constant state of learning would be sanity. It would seem that he thought that, To have the answers to everything seemed ridiculous as well.
The problem with knowing everything is that you are going to run into someone else who also knows "everything" and when you do, You guys are going to disagree about "everything" If you acknowledge that possibly you might not have all the answers, Then this wouldn't happen. If you really think about it, Every time that there is a disagreement, It is because two people are sure that they where right. So if a person was never sure that they where right then they would never have a disagreement with anyone.
People remember the way that you make them feel more then they remember what you say. So when you read "the meek shall inherit the earth" It is literal. To be meek is humility in action. Over the course of time if you live without disagreements, People will love you more and more and you will quite literally inherit the earth.
There is an easy way to get rid of pride in conversation. You just have to replace any definitive words, like "always" and "never" and use "I think"
Communicating Without Pride (listening)
The trick is you listen and understand where the other person is coming from. Then you ask them questions, That the answers to, Are the reasons why they are wrong. If you cannot do that, then it's probably you who are wrong. The thing about a proud person is, They have the answer to "everything" so If you ask them the question that the answer to is why they are wrong. They will think of it so that they can tell you.
If you can listen and understand the other persons perspective. Then you can see where the two of you disagree. Then you can go from there and think about what made you get past that point. Then you ask them to consider the thing that made you consider more. You can either get shut down at this point, Come to understanding or you can get to a new disagreement and then you just do the same thing from there and keep going. Socrates used to do this a lot.
Pride in Science
I would argue that even science is based on faith. When people who are into science are certain that they are correct it attracts problems. There are people who are certain that it is wrong. The reason why you can't be certain that science is correct is because, and I know that this sounds ridiculous but, You can't actually prove that other people actually exist. The closest that we have come to proving that we exist is, "I think therefore I am". If you are going to believe that science is correct, The way to do it is, To say that you are not sure that science is correct but, It seems legit so, you have faith in it. It is for that exact reason that, A lot of religious people believe in religion. Then science and religion get into a fight with each other for no reason. In reality you both are unsure but, Are choosing to have faith.
Famous Examples of Pride
Socrates. He was famously the very least prideful person. He quoted often that the only thing that he knew what that he knew nothing at all. So why did conflict arise in his life? It arose over the pride that he took in knowing nothing. I don't think he would have died if he would have said that possibly he could know something. If you read "The Trial of Socrates" You will see clearly what I mean. It's a wonderful read.
Jesus. Everyone loved Jesus, But he was just certain that he was the son of god. If he had not been certain of that I don't think that he would have been killed.