The Shattered Maker.
Is history a wheel doomed to repeat?
I met him, I finally met him.
The blue-eyed man.
They said it was all a dream.
They laughed at me for my ships not coming in.
As everyone else, lucky them.
“My name, Diana”.
“It’s good to meet you properly, Diana”. He said, smiling.
“Don’t worry, he’s one of the clean ones”.
She told me. Wise woman.
“You’ll get there. I didn’t give up”.
“Now I can read minds”, he said.
Why does my back hurt so much?
Uh-huh, because I carry all the burdens.
They have confirmed it.
That I am not imagining it.
They took it.
It was just on the table.
When I was not looking.
That they are invisible monsters.
They took it.
Now they are asking what I am talking about.
Behind the screens, the shadow watchers.
Because they are always watching.
Using my words against me.
And stealing to silent me.
But whatever I do with my life has nothing to do with them.
You must be a really bothered human,
To bother someone who is not bothering you.
Lessons after Lessons.
I remember everything.
When I saw it coming.
I saw it all. I can see it all.
Seems I’m not heading in the wrong direction.
Look at my life.
Lessons after lessons.
And I love relishing while I live,
Learning while I party,
And earning, while I snooze.
I mean, not from another human’s programming of my lessons.
But from the lessons written in my book of records.
And my pages are not there for them, but for me and people with the same concerns/interests/hobbies.
I need not explain to anyone what I do with my life.
You get to live.
Appreciate the little things.
“You should have let me die.
At least I’d have control over that”.
I kept telling them.
Since they all want to control me.
Copy-cats of the monster that was not even supposed to be in my life.
But came to my life for a purpose.
Belongs in the past,
Hasn’t been in my present,
And shouldn’t be in my life.
Plus the physical presence,
I don’t need his omni-presence.
I am not one to suffer for love anymore.
But I thank the sprite’s short presence in my life.
For were it not for the fiend’s psychological abuse, I wouldn’t have known much.
Saged me, the Cat.
That was quite a show.
But it’s over now.
They came to beat me in my own game.
Really painful to see your people trying to be you.
Just so they can beat you with you.
Because I know I’ll have to cut them all off.
I can’t deal with people paid to stab me in my back.
And I remember their words, “What is your biggest fear?”
And I said, “Stupid people who stab others in the back”.
And he used it against me.
You have no right to destroy what you did not create.
I love surprises,
I love visitors,
I love surprise visitors in my phone.
But what I don’t love,
Is you spreading my phone number to strangers?
So that people can nag me?
So that they can gaslight me?
All in the name of covetousness, you say?
Get out, right now.
It's the end of you and me.
A mortal somewhere wanted the whole town to do what he wanted.
And I became broke, and broke and broke.
And the city turned into the sphere.
And the sphere turned into a planet.
Well done, psycho.
You are a complete mess.
Still, nothing has changed about me.
You will have to deal with me first, to get to me.
My finances don’t define me.
Thank you for pushing my buttons though.
Balance, and Control.
Balance, and control.
Without them, chaos will kill you.
Not only are we fighting COVID-19,
We are also fighting absurdity.
At least on my end.
Why in the world would you use my odes against me?
You call it human? I call it STUPIDITY.
You may be idle, but must you always focus on the trivial matters?
Where did our humanity go my people?
And you wonder why I insult them?
Because they are intentionally infuriating.
It’s like they want it. It feeds them.
To them, any kind of attention is attention.
And so I decided to keep quiet.
For they use my words against me.
Sometimes I will give them a taste of my medicine when I’m pushed.
And they have no one else to feel sorry for them, but them.
What has the good helped me with anyway?
Sometimes a flower is just a flower.
Devils do exist.
Sometimes as monsters,
Sometimes as money.
And sometimes both.
And now they all come bragging to me,
Of how life has worked out on their end.
After taking, and taking, and taking from me.
I mean, are we in kindergarten?
They come speaking of business,
But in real sense, they only come to compare.
Compare their services, their competence with me.
They have nothing to offer.
Nobody told me, what the hell was going on.
I still don’t know yet.
And honestly, I do not care.
I should live the life I deserve.
Perhaps not on this planet.
Earth, has only but left a bitter taste in my mouth.
Perhaps maybe the blue-eyed guy will take me to another domain.
A world I never imagined before.
Let me go and focus on greener pastures,
Where there is happiness,
Where bills no longer bother me.
Where everyone can get anything they want,
And do anything they want.
Without so much struggle.
Without people wanting to show you they are better than you.
Just so they can feel good about themselves.
Without people who enjoy to see you suffer.
They all did it.
They all caught the lightening in the bottle.
And I was the only one who never jammed it.
Well, not until later on.
They were praised, and told they are the strong, among-st the weak.
Took credit for my work, and I never got a dime.
“What you did there was pathetic and dangerous”.
They told me, when I tried expressing my opinions,
So that I couldn’t get my justice.
Do you have what it takes?
As they recruited all the others in the filming and writing groups, and secluded me.
And so I observed, and observed, and participated in some.
Turns out I have to give something to get something.
After using my methodologies for their gain,
I knew they were up to something.
So I didn’t waste my time.
They can’t promote your writings, but they are busy criticizing and using them against you.
But at least some are inspired.
Good job, Dee.
But how deep is the mental folly of this person?
I don’t even want to think about it.
All in an effort to make me feel trivial?
Well shame on every one of them,
For projecting their insecurities on me.
It is a pity. Really pity.
You can fool the world, but you can’t fool me.
These were my very words to him:
“Keep the love, keep the fame, just give me the loyalty”.
Because you can say you love someone, but do a number on them.
Thank you, 21 Savage for the mind-opening.
But he went ahead and did the opposite.
These lot of narcissists, never found true love till they met me.
They took it for granted.
By the time they realized my worth,
I was already gone.
And now they are using pain, and manipulation, to lure me back, destroy my happiness?
You can’t keep someone who doesn’t want to be kept, can you?
At least not in that pattern.
Your ways of doing kept pushing me away.
“Then go somewhere else.
Rebuild, get stronger.
Show these humans, what you are made of.
Show them, that you are more, more than what they fear you to be.
I learned to live with them, so that I can live”.
He alleged, as his blue-eyes locked up in his pretty yellow face ogled at me.
“Take this dosh, it should be enough to take care of you for months”.
Am I living a dream?
“I am ready”, I said.
“My position on this planet should not be taken advantage of”.
“I took away her control, but she still has power”.
“Sometimes what a flower can do for us is just die”.
They talked me down and talked about me.
All in an effort to show me that I am insignificant.
But it never did, and it never will.
Because I can see it’s all an act.
But why?? Why? How do they think they appear?
Powerful? Lucky? Blessed? Wealthy? I bet not.
We remake ourselves, on our terms.
The world has no say in it.
Seditious rumors, should never have an effect on you.
You can free the victim in the mirror forever,
And be who you want to be.
But first, you have to let them know you’re no longer their object of detrimental scientific experiment.
Leave, never to return.
Money Is Happiness, but it’s Not My Only Key.
We all have equal access to our features.
You can call me negative,
But that’s not the case.
And after draining all my resources,
So that I can be stuck and helpless,
So that they can mock and laugh,
So that it can feed their ego,
So that they can manipulate me into joining them,
I came out stronger, better, more empowered.
Do not make decisions based on money.
Do not make decisions based on how much money you don’t have.
Do not offer free services to greedy employers.
Do not kick down doors that have been shut.
When doors have been slammed on your face, walk away.
Do not be too quick to assign a meaning to everything happening in your life.
Sometimes it’s the devil’s doing.
I don’t care who you are.
Be patient; King, Queen, Princess, and Prince.
Don’t expect it to happen overnight.
Wonders take place when you are not thinking.
I value my FREEDOM.
It is not the money I thirst for, per se.
I got stamina. I’m free to be the whom I want.
You can’t fight a lady who isn’t afraid to fight on her own.
I choose the Law of Surprise.
Who are you to challenge destiny?
Justice for George Floyd.
“Please I can’t breathe.
My stomach hurts.
My neck hurts.
They are going to kill me”.
Those were his words; George Floyd.
As he struggled to grasp his last breath.
Scourged and crying for pity.
That is how it feels when someone steps on you.
All because of race, gender, age-group, religion, culture?
Justice for all my people.
We all need each other.
Let us try and see the effects we have on others when we are driven by anger, pride, envy, or self-image.
I love all: Whites and Blacks, Indians, Philippines, Jews, Muslims, Pagans, Christians and many more.
We are all GOD’S children.
© 2020 Diana Bernie