ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

The Strangled Self

Updated on April 13, 2014

The Strangled Self

By Tony DeLorger © 2011


Feeing indistinguishable from others of our kind can make you feel lost in a pool of humanity, an individual cloaked in anonymity. Being a more reserved self and driven by thoughts of worthlessness, certain behaviours can impede and indeed strangle a life of success, or even function. People that have these dark feelings become reclusive, unengaged and self-effacing. Connection with the world can become limited to necessity and beyond that life is within the self, a secret world where reality is often manufactured rather than experienced firsthand.

These people fall from society like flies, and end up being found dead, alone and often weeks after their passing. Within their homes and from an outsider’s viewpoint, they can appear normal, their lives ordered and functional. But the reality of their mental state is very different.

Isolation is often chosen because the daily stress of having to deal with other people is just too much and at least by themselves they feel in control, not be looked down on or judged. They can choose what they do or don’t do. The less connection outwardly, the easier life is and the more settled the person, and the levels of anxiety and self-loathing diminish.

So how does a person get to this point? What drives a human being to become isolated out of choice? Often created as a child, this defective personality has been deprived of basic nurturing by their parents. Without love and support, being held, cuddled and given positive role models, children can grow up dependant and unable to act effectively themselves. Without being taught how to establish and maintain relationships and having not experienced the basic needs as a child, this person becomes an adult without the emotional understanding necessary to function daily.

Often rejection or even co-dependence can create a damaged personality, a personality that has no defining experience other than loneliness or catering for the needs of the parent of co-dependence. This leaves the person ill-equipped to deal with the world emotionally. The lack of confidence and the shame of feeling worthless can create a world much harsher than we could ever imagine. Their response then is to consolidate with all they know, being by themselves and away from that harsh world.

This damaged ‘Child Within’ as it is commonly called in psychology, is a fragile and deeply scared child, begging for nurture and release from their self-imposed prison. However, it is not easy to treat these people as they often display many phobias and even psychosis at the hands of their mental imbalance, year after year.

Isolation can create hallucinations, false beliefs and imaginary friends, hearing voices and can develop into symptoms of paranoia and even schizophrenia. Human beings need touch, to be heard and understood and above all to be loved. Without it we are prone to all manner of mental disorders and afflictions.

Children have needs that must be met. Children should never be fitted into one’s life; they should be the priority of it. For without our constant input, advice, example, love and nurturing they are liable to grew up unable to adjust to the world we have brought them into. The damage that can be caused by our carelessness can be devastating and we have a duty of care to our children. We have to see our actions and words as a major influence on their young lives and adjust our thinking to consider them foremost.


Comments

    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    • Tony DeLorger profile imageAUTHOR

      Tony DeLorger 

      7 years ago from Adelaide, South Australia

      Thanks for reading Jami

    • profile image

      jami l. pereira 

      7 years ago

      Hmm.. an enjoyable , factual , look at a percentage of society and/or people in general , i think alot of people go through this in life , moreso than others may think . Sad but painfully true , thanks for the read , voted up useful and awesome .:)

    working

    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, hubpages.com uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: https://hubpages.com/privacy-policy#gdpr

    Show Details
    Necessary
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the googleapis.com or gstatic.com domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Features
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Marketing
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Statistics
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)