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Theory of a Hairy Back

Updated on August 31, 2010


Theory of the Hairy Back


Why do men have hairy backs if 70 to 80 of women don’t like hairy backs?  The answer seems to be that the hairy back seems to have evolved INSPITE of the hairy back itself, in that some other trait must have been intrinsically linked to the hairy back which was more valuable than the turn off of the hairy back, as to say that the hairy back was some negative, while a greater positive out-weighed the negative.  The hairy back may be a negative 5 in the mind of an observer, but must be connected somehow to a plus 6 of some other attribute, to give an overall attract quality to it. 

At first glance it seems that the hairy back is also linked to larger males.  It is the bigger male that seems to have a hairy back, but also it seems that this is not enough.  The largeness by itself may not be enough of an attractant to counter-act the hairy back.  Thus, there must have been some historical significance to the hairy back.  In its own right hair is a deterrent for the spreading of disease, as we can see from the top of the head and the pubic hair, so that it seems that the hairy back is a disease catcher, but why didn’t females evolve this hairy back at least in part?  Why didn’t at least SOME females develop a hairy back?  This seems to be the answer.  A certain set of males in the history of the species were assigned to carrying the dead animals back to the tribe.  In the process of carrying the dead animals, and before humans knew of diseases, the man mixed his sweat with the potentially diseased fur which slowly seeped down his body.  If it reached the body of the torso, the diseases may have found their way into the body, but during the voyage downward if the disease got caught up in the complexities of the hair on the back, it never reached the hip area, where it could find a way in, thus, he never died from the disease.  So you may also ask why largeness and the hairy back.  Common sense seems to insinuate that the larger males would be selected for the task in the first place.  Get the large male to carry the deer.  Here we start to see the connection between largeness and hairiness of the back.  Other traits may also evolve alongside these, such as a diplomatic, judicious personality.  Imagine that since he is large and the deer-carrier many would be involved with him dispersing the deer meat.  Even though one of the other males may have killed it, two or three other males may have driven the animal to the actual shooter, and this large male is the transporter.  We see then that the chasers that pushed the deer toward the shooter have a claim to the deer meat, the shooter, and the carrier, all have a claim to the meat.  Here we see a problem.  How determines who gets how much… he does, the deer-carrier, because he is big enough to be the enforcer.  In his diplomatic, judicious personality he is actually good for his society because they will be healthy upon his effort and equal dispersing of food.  If he unduly feeds his favorites, they will grow stronger and the others will grow weaker.  So he will create weak enemies but strong friends.  This may be good, but if he is the largest male, he would do better not to strength his favorites who then may compete against him, but he would do better by NOT strengthening the few, but would do better by strengthening all.  Furthermore, this is where he comes to be desirable to the females.  He is the holder, the carrier of food.  In part their survival rests upon him.  He evolved INSPITE of his hairy back because the hairy back was a significance of his food possession, his central judicious fairness, and his integral social status.  Furthermore, he is large and the first feeder.  Since the food’s arrival is dependent upon his arrival, we see that he will eat first and be the most defended part while traveling, the sergeant surrounded by his privates, the walking leader.  To some extent he hold morality much the same way a bank does.  He must hold the food deposited upon his back until it is called upon to feed the depositors.  To some extent we can see then that HE must be judicious but he must be associated to an aggressive female to fend off the females who would fight for food, so that her personality may be one of aggression and fighting but his would be one of silent fair strength, an even tone, and even personality. 

This is the rudimentary theory of the hairy back.  He may also have teeth like fangs in that he is primarily THE meat eater, while others may choose other food sources like apples or berries, his size, strength, and proximity to the meat, MAKES him a meat eater primarily.  So we can see that he would evolve the sharper fangs of meet eating.  


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      Dick 21 months ago


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      mooney 3 years ago

      Yea hobbits I am a big man with a hairy back I crave meat am strong and reserved.and my wife is crazy the theory is 100%

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      newarkstar 5 years ago

      This theory is flawed to believe only big men have hairy backs. I know many little men with hairy backs as well.

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      AlMorr 5 years ago

      Its all to do with testostorone and genes hairybackedman, I like you am very hairy all over, although my back hair is a bit lighter than my very bushy hairy chest and shoulders. The article states that 'big guys' are the ones the most likely to have really hairy backs, that is possibly true, it seems to me that a lot of brick layer type men seem to have the most hairy backs than other men, maybe it is something to do with them always bending and exposing their backs to the sun and air, maybe.

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      hairybackedman 7 years ago

      It is interesting to wonder why a man from the 21st century like myself has a body that isn't too far from the apes we evolved from. I'm covered in thick hair, back included. Yet there are other men around me who don't have a single hair on the chest or back. Why would there be such a difference?