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Unpopular in High School-So What! Be Yourself

Updated on August 16, 2016
gmwilliams profile image

Grace loves to write commentaries on psycho-cultural and sociocultural dynamics in their myriad forms.


Unpopular in High School-So, You are a Diamond in the Rough

The definition of being popular is to be liked and adored by the majority of people. Oh to be popular in high school! Many teenagers in high school are obsessed with being popular. For many in high school, being popular is the apex of their lives. A popular person has the respect of his/her peers, A popular person is the king/queen of his/her social circle. He/she can determine who can join his/her circle and or selected the circle he/she wants to join. He/she is considered "cool", "suave", "awesome" ,and the "leader" of his/her peers.

Of course, popular teenagers are highly regarded by their friends and peers. Others look up to them in terms of fashion and advice. A celebrity reported that she was so popular in high school, that her peers called her nightly, asking what was she going to wear and they will wear the same thing. Many high schoolers elect their government officers based upon how well they are liked, instead of their inherent ability to perform the job. Popular teenagers are considered to be the "A" group in high school. Most teenagers want to be like them and worship them.

Then there are the unpopular teenagers who are not liked by the majority of students. Some teenagers are deemed unpopular by their peers because maybe they are intellectually mature and/or highly intellectual at the genius level. Many unpopular teenagers are highly creative and are not in tune with the average teenage happenings. Many brilliant teenagers stated that they are unpopular in high school because they were more interested in pursuing academic and intellectual pursuits over social/extracurricular pursuits.. Oftentimes, unpopular teenagers are highly individualistic and nonconformists who believe in marching to their own drummers. Many unpopular teenagers assert that they did not want to be part of the herd mentality of high school and have better things to do.

Many times unpopular teenagers feel ostradized by their associates and peers. My advice: so what you are unpopular! Not everyone is going to like you. You can have a so-called winning personality and be a complete angel and still someone is going to dislike you. This is a part of life.

Many teenagers submerge their own personalities in order to be liked by the majority. How many times in high school do teenagers often perform banal, detrimental, and/or immature acts in order to be liked by their peers or to be in the popular crowd? How many teenagers turn into not so pleasant people to garner popularity points ? Some teenagers even experiment with drugs, become bullies, and/or slack off in their academic pursuits in order to become "more popular". Many teenagers with a poorly developed sense of sense even become self-abnegating, self-destructive, and commit suicide because they yearn to be popular and loved by their peers.

Many unpopular teenagers learn to develop thick skins and utilize their human potential to the utmost. In my high school, there was a classmate who was the smartest person in the her class. Many of the other students made fun of her, calling her pejorative names, misspelled her last name, and insulted her to her face. She was a highly intellectual teenager, very mature beyond her years. She was a highly creative and artistic person. Her art work won prizes in high school. The other students derided her and excluded her from their groups. She did not care but pursued her own solitary pursuits. She was very gifted artistically. Furthermore, she was very kind to people and was not exclusionary in her choice of friends(which she had outside the school). She did not care if she was popular or not. She believed in being an individual who thought for herself and asserted her own persona although other students laughed at her. She was not a chameleon and I highly respected that.

Unpopular teenagers, oftentimes than not, are the people pleasers that popular teenagers are. The mantra of unpopular students is to be themselves. They often are not part of the group and do not care. They would rather be happy by themselves or with a small, select group of friends than to feign another persona to fit in. From my experience, many popular teenagers are chameleons and inauthentic changing their personalities to please people in order to be liked. There was a girl in my high school who constantly changed her personality in order to be popular and well-liked. Although the majority of students liked and worshipped her, there were a few who detested her, considering her a phony.

Unpopular teenagers learn that life is not necessarily a popularity contest. They can face adversity better and are resolute in asserting their persona. They also learn to think outside the box and to be more creative in solving life's problems. They also understand the intricacies of relationships more. Unpopular teenagers will not crumble if someone states that they do not like them! Their mantra is so what I like myself and cannot please other people! Many unpopular teenagers learn to be highly nonconformist and to say what is on their minds. They do not try to please people as you cannot please everyone!

Many unpopular teenagers blossom into adults who are highly regarded and well-respected because people know that they have authentic and fortright personalities. Many adults who are unpopular teenagers have a thick skin, are tough, and learn to use their individuality to the utmost. Oftentimes, being unpopular in high school cause people to achieve phemonenal success and to be fearless in life situations. Many unpopular teenagers mature into quite empathetic and compassionate individuals who root for the underdog.

Plenty of unpopular teenagers are socioeconomically successful much to the chagrin of their more popular classmates. I know of a friend who stated that she was unpopular in her high school but now is a highly successful and sought-after professional. She relayed to me that when she went to her thirty-eighth high school reunion, she and her so-called unpopular group were the most successful socioeconomically whereas the so-called popular group was the least successful socioeconomically. Think of Heather Mooney in the Romy's and Michelle's High School Reunion movie-she was very unpopular in high school yet she became a multimillionaire due to an invention of quick burning cigarettes and the so-called popular cheerleaders had mediocre lives as adults. So, unpopular teenagers, you think that you are hopeless now because you are so-called unpopular. Be glad that you are unpopular in high school because you can develop yourself emotionally, spiritually, and intellectually to be a great person later in life.


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    • gmwilliams profile imageAUTHOR

      Grace Marguerite Williams 

      2 years ago from the Greatest City In The World-New York City, New York


    • Rockstarhobbo profile image


      2 years ago

      This is an awesome article !

      I've written one about it myself too! Do check it out!

    • profile image

      Patricia Marinelli 

      6 years ago

      Usually the really smart unpopular kids become very successful. A lot of times the quarterback for the footaball team life turns out to be less successeful

    • gmwilliams profile imageAUTHOR

      Grace Marguerite Williams 

      6 years ago from the Greatest City In The World-New York City, New York

      To nik: Find out what you really like and wish to pursue and just be yourself, nothing more and nothing less. Never adopt a false and/or pretentious persona just to be liked and part of the crowd.

    • profile image


      6 years ago

      what a vice would you give to someone who is unpopular because he isn't in to mainstream stuff like music and t.v shows, etc.

    • gmwilliams profile imageAUTHOR

      Grace Marguerite Williams 

      7 years ago from the Greatest City In The World-New York City, New York

      To Peter: Thank you for your response; however, there are teenagers who are quite happy having very little or no friends in high school. There are teenagers who are extremely mature for their ages and find other teenagers to be totally asinine and immature. They often prefer the company of their parents or adults to their teenaged peers.

      Also there are teenagers who chose to be loners. This does not mean that they do not have any type of social skills. Social skills is not a rocket science. My God, this society makes a tremendous deal of social skills. Anybody can have social skills. Let us get real.

      Teenagers who are often unpopular are often the smartest and most creative teenagers around. They are very comfortable in their skins and know to be an individual and not a clone of anyone else. In other words, there is nothing wrong with being unpopular. In fact, I prize, respect, and admire teenagers who are unpopular over the popular clones who often are inauthentic and superficial people whose personalities turn on and off depending upon the person and circumstances. At least, the unpopular teenager follows his/her own drummer and is a nonconformist who will one day be a WILDLY SUCCESSFUL person. Think about what I have said.

    • profile image


      7 years ago

      Well done article, but there could be a risk for being yourself if carried to the extreme. If a teen is a complete loner and avoid their peers entirely, a teen wouldn't develop social skills needed for later in life. A teen should at least try to have some friends. Being a loner won't help the teen in the long run. Eventually every teen has to socialize with other people.


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