Why Do People Have Children?

The reasons that people have children are as varied and/or vastly individual as the people themselves. Some people have children because of outside pressure whether it is parental, from relatives, peers, and/or associates. It is not only parents, relatives, peers, and/or associates who exert either overt or covert pressure for people to have children, society convey subliminal messages that it is desirable to have children.

In our pronatalist culture and/or society, having children is viewed in a positive light. Messages abound that children are what makes a family. Further messages affirm how children enrich couples' lives. People who have children are viewed as true, legitimate adults. In our culture and society, having children is considered the valid parameter of true adulthood. Some even believe that one is not considered an authentic adult unless and/or until he/she has children. They assert that until people have children, they are adults in name only.

Our culture and society furthermore relay the message that it is a sign of responsibility and unselfishness to have children. Having children makes people more responsible and altruistic that they have someone else to consider other than themselves. In relation to the responsibility and unselfishness apparent as a result of having children, it is contended that having children makes people more stable. It is long thought of that people who have children are more responsible, stable, and less selfish. They are aware of the sacrifices it entails to have children and to provide them a secure environment. In this hub, I shall discuss the seven key reasons why people have children: (1) outside pressure from parents and friends, (2) religious obligation, (3) old age insurance, (4) to make an imprint on the world, (5) as an exercise in power, (6) to fill a void, and (7) because they truly want them.

Many people have children because of outside pressure from parents, other family members, relatives, and/or friends. They feel that they must give their parents grandchildren to fulfill their parents' wish and their filial duty. They contend that by giving their parents grandchildren the family will be further complete and they will create a family legacy. They also succumb to the wishes of their siblings, cousins, and/or other relatives to have children because the former either want companions for their own children or they want some descendants that they can dote upon.

They can be pressured and inculcated by their friends to have children because it is the socially acceptable thing to do. They can be the only couple in their social circle not to have children. They may feel that they would be the odd/outside couple if they do not have children. If they do not have children, they will be ostracized, even marginalized by their particular social circle. So they have children in order to belong and be part of the group.

There are those who have children because they are religiously obligated to do so. They feel that they must have children to fulfill some prescribed, even preordained religious mantra. They contend that the reason to get married is not to indulge in some selfish, hedonistic relationship centered on pleasure but to unselfishly produce children and to make a true, authentic family. In their purview not to have children is viewed as an aberrant immorality, even a mortal transgression. It does not matter if they want children or not, they contend that whether or not they want children is totally immaterial. They vehemently argue that they must subvert their innate selfishness to the familial, if not common spiritual goal to bring children into the world as some type of religious duty and/or fulfillment.

There are people who have children because the latter are seen as security measures, some type of insurance protection in their old age. They view having children as ultimate safeguard against being old and/or alone. They may even feel that their children's primary purpose, even obligation, is to look after and take care of them when they become old. They know that by having children, their children can and/or will be trusted to be there when needed. They even contend that by having children, they will always have someone by their side who can provide emotional, psychological, even financial comfort and/or assistance when the time comes. They further believe they can feel safe and secure around their children that they cannot feel with anyone else.

Some people have children because they want to make their particular mark on the world. They believe that by having children, they will be immortal. They see having children as some type of posthumous contribution to their particular society, even to the world. In their purview, they contend that if they are unable to contribute to their society and the world through their talents and works, their children will somehow be their contribution to their society and the world at large. In their eyes, they and their children are one. Their see their children in living in their name and people will know them through their children.

Many people have children with the purpose of employing upmanship and other displays of power. There are people who use parenthood as an excuse to establish unadulterated dominance over their children. They are of the school that as parents and adults, they are the masters who are in control. They hold the opinion that their children are not individuals in their own right. The thought that their children are individuals is totally incomprehensible and beyond their purview. They maintain that as parents, they can treat their children in any matter that suits them. After all, their children are mere replicas of them and the latter exist to obey their directives. They see themselves as the boss and superior ones while their children are subordinate and inferior to them and each ought to act accordingly.

There are people who have children to fill a void in their lives. Their relationship may be unhappy, even unfulfilled so they believe that by having children, their relationship will be happy and fulfilled. There are some who have no outside jobs/careers, hobbies, friends, and/or interests. They feel an aching need for some type of outlet and involvement. So instead of pursuing a job/career, getting a hobby, or being involved and/or participating in an activity, they have children to satisfy their need for an outlet. They feel that by having children, their particular needs are met, even satisfied.

There are people who believe that they were meant to be parents. They put a lot of thought and planning regarding having children. They were prepared emotionally, psychologically, and financially before they decided to have children. They embrace, even love the idea of having children. They consider their role as parents to be a spiritual experience. They view their children as wonderful entities with their unique personalities, mindsets, consciousness, and/or psychology. They want to guide, teach, and/or nurture their children to be the best people they can possibly be. They furthermore believe that their children are teachers and guides, teaching them new, exciting, and/or different perspectives on life. To them, their children are not merely their children, they are their closest friends and companions. In their purview, their children are unique beyond all compare.

In summation, people have children for many different reasons. Some have children because of outside pressure either from parents, relatives, friends, or the general society. Others feel that they have a moral, even a religious obligation to have children. There are those who have children to fill some type of psychological void in their lives. However, there are others who love, even embracing having children. They see children as one of the greatest joys in their lives.