Who The Bleep Are You?
Who the Bleep Are you?
©2009 Dorothy W. Parker All Rights Reserved
I am a stranger and I am writing this article about you, however I do not know anything about you. Over the past 49 years I have realized the average person I have counseled don’t know much about themselves, hence the many books on the shelves about getting to know yourself.
I do not want to know you; I am not that interested in knowing who you are. It is not going to help my life one bit to know you. We do not need to get acquainted, we do not need to hang out and we don’t need to be friends.
As a matter of fact I could careless to know you at this stage in your life because I am sure If I was to meet you right now I would not be meeting the real you. I would be meeting the social personality you have groomed yourself to believe you are. The person you would introduce to me would not last long and I would soon meet the real you, and that would be a surprise to the both of us. So let us get one thing straight before we get ahead of ourselves. I do not want to know the “you” that you have become, and I would advise you not to introduce that person to anyone else.
Furthermore, I would advise you to go to the closes mirror you can find and look that mask in the face and tell it, you are about to die. I will not take you to another party, I will not leave the house wearing you anymore, you have stolen my identity to long and it is time for you to go. I do not know who you are, and you are no longer authorized to use me as your pawn. You have taken advantage of me to long and I am no longer willing to lay on the back burner while you get all the attention and credit for my achievements.
Anyway, “who the bleep are you, and how long have you been using my identity. I have understood the loss you have caused in my life and I am no longer willing to lose. I am a winner, in fact, I am damn proud of who I am and I want the world to know me.
As you let the mask drop to the floor turn, walk away from that mirror, and never allow your identity to be stolen again. Look in the mirror everyday and ask yourself this one question, “who the bleep are you” when you have the answer you can FORFIET this practice for the one you will be given at the end of this book.
Ok, now you see why I do not want to meet you right now, nor do I want to be your friend. In fact, I think you should re-evaluate the friends you have, to be sure you know who the bleep they are. Otherwise you are probably not dealing with the real person, just some social personality they have cooked up to get them through the day.
Mostly, we have all allowed ourselves the luxury of a social personality, one who is everything we are not. One who can handle the crowd? We look through the eyes of our social personality and we feel confident it will get us through the moment. Nevertheless, we know at any moment we may be exposed and what are we going to say, what will be our excuse, who will we display. I am sure you have seen or heard of Stephen King’s show on Showtime called the” United States of Tara”, it is about a mother with multiple personalities. These personalities arise when they are necessary and each one is aware of his or her role in Tara’s life. These personalities can rise up randomly without prior notice. I love the show because the family treats her like she’s normal and nothing is wrong with her. When the personalities allow Tara to use her own body she is always unaware of what happen when they took her body over, her only clue many times was smells, tastes, body scars, the way she looked, or what the family told her.
How many times have your loved ones described actions they have witnessed you perform that you were not aware of but have vague memories of. We all have personality disorders, we all have social personalities that we form to get us through situations that may be too much for us to handle. None of us is normal, what does it mean to be normal. Who the bleep is normal? I am not normal by a long shot, however, I am awake to the fact that normal is not my goal. It is just an attitude we ascribe to fit in. I will leave “normalcy’ for the professionals to figure out, all I can tell you is that, we are all working out of some kind of personality disorder and none of us qualify for exemption.
So what the bleep do we know about ourselves? How will I know when I’ve met the real me:
1. You know yourself when you can control your action, the way you think, act, speak, respond, etc...
2. You know who the bleep you are when you can truly know your place in the world.
3. You know who the bleep you are when you no longer have to use a social personality to help you get through the day.
4. You know who the bleep you are when you can handle the toughest situations and come, out not perfect but aware that you are not the situation.
5. You know who the bleep you are when you stop using excuses for your mistakes.
6. You know who the bleep you are when you realize you are more than the flesh and bone body you live in.
7. You know who the bleep you are when you can look at yourself in the mirror and love what you see.
8. You know who the bleep you are regardless of what others say about you, it does not change your actions or love towards them.
9. You know who the bleep you are when you know a person’s actions are just physical responses to misunderstandings of spiritual situations.
Ask yourself this question, if you can be honest, it will surprise you, look in the mirror and name the personality you see, write that name down. Now if you think of more than one name than I would advise you to use the one that describes you the best. The name you will write is the name of the social personality you have allowed to run your life.
Do not try to be intellectual here, this is a question for lay people not professionals, I fear professionals can over emphasize situations at times when things are not that complicated.
Now that you have given the social personality a name, try to think of how different you are from that personality. How would you act, if you had more confidence in yourself and could express yourself without the mask?
What is the difference between you and the social personality you have become? What makes that particular personality more acceptable? If you are the one performing the actions through that personality what is the difference between what you do as a social personality and what you would do if you lacked fear and did not use the personality.
The next time you are at a social gathering or in a situation where you are experiencing any degree of fear, try to remain consistent in your actions and just observe yourself interacting with others. Notice everything about yourself in the situation; be as attentive of your actions as you can. The next time you go out try to gradually change a particular action and let go of your fear do what you really want to do in that situation.
In other words, be yourself, do not act or use a social personality to help you through the event. Allow yourself to experience the moment and as the event move on, gradually notice your emotional states. A word of caution, this exercise does not include harming yourself or anyone else.
Ask yourself when the event has completed, “what was wrong with you”? What was it, about that event that made your social personality necessary?
When you are alone, go back to your meeting place at the mirror, and ask yourself the question… “What is wrong with you”?
Be honest, because there is no one there to impress but you. If you have to empress yourself than you have another issue, you have to deal with. That issue is called ego, and it may not want to talk with you now. It may find you intrusive and pushy, so be persistent with you and get an answer. Once you are satisfied you have an answer that is honest you can began the road to recovery. The road to recovery involves knowing who the bleep that is looking at you in the mirror and understanding what makes it tick.
After you have reached a consensus with yourself that this personality is not you but acting in your stead you will began to notice it more often than not. You will start to notice when you are using it to get through a situation and when it is on automatic.
After going through this grueling process be aware of you daily, when you are present and when you are using a social personality.
Believe me others notice it more than they will admit. It does not take a person a long time in your presence before they notice a contradiction in your actions and your emotions. Your face is definitely transparent; it is hard for your face to lie. Your eyes are the window to your soul.
Articles by Dorothy W. Parker, PhD.
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