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Who and What am I ?

Updated on June 28, 2013
who am I? from Red Snap
who am I? from Red Snap
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Who am I 6 from Ankhbayar Tumurbaata
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Billions and billions from Richard Mitchell
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Pensive from MarkEllis

Who and What am I?

By Tony DeLorger © 2011

Where am I, if not within with my consciousness. Am I whole, my body and mind in sync, coexisting in a harmonious way? Or am I displaced, my consciousness alluding to singularity and my body its partial slave and occasional receptacle for fragmented thought. I often wonder why I see so completely the anomalies of existence, and don’t take for granted the assumptions of greater minds than I.

What is the real me? Am I but an accumulation of experience that dictates my own assumptions about what I am? I am to believe that I am soul with shell, or a momentary consciousness that comes and goes, and is silent in death. Am I the dust from where I came, a manufactured being by a creator of purpose, or am I a random act of aspiring life? Am I a series of chemical reactions that somehow squeezed into an organism, and then by experience gained knowledge and developed an intellect?

Was I orchestrated, or am I a fateful being, haphazardly coming to life and eventually awareness? But am I aware? Are my questions based on a ground level stupidity, too ignorant to understand what science believes is right. Or am I beyond what science knows, looking further to the truth and not accepting what technology explains and is understood at the time?

I see ambiguity in such mammoth quantity, loose ends that are nicely tied up by current accepted knowledge, but with holes as big as super novas. Human knowledge can only be as great as our capacity allows, none of which infers truth. Science only claims based on aptitude, understanding relevant information, not definitive truth. So who among us can claim any truth, beyond what we are capable? None of course! So our understanding is based on a maybe at best.

Why may I ask these questions when real answers are impossible to be analysed and concluded as truth; because we assume and therefore stop aspiring to know. Knowing is less of a truth of fact and more a feeling of understanding. And in that sense I question myself to understand me alone. Not the world or universe but me, I claim as my quest of knowledge. From that I will seek outwardly and apply what I find.

So who and what am I? I am a spec amid a trillion to the power of infinity. I am here and then gone, my life a flash of light so meaningless that no-one will ever perceive me in the night sky. My awareness does little but upset my capacity to understand, for I am so limited in thought, I use logic to prop up my knowledge.

The only time that I have meaning is when I am attuned to creativity, without thought and intention, with vague consciousness. The only time I feel real is when I’m in the state of experiencing love. Not sex or lust but pure selfless love. Then I have meaning, I have purpose and therefore existence in a undeniable way. Not contemplated, not measured, not judged or claimed to be anything other than an experience that is beyond thought or logic.

What am I? I am potential to love. Who am I? I am a spec that has the potential of light the size of a pinprick. My value is that I can become part of a greater light that can be seen in the night sky, can be accepted as being. The rest is questionable.

Life is far too complex to understand in any meaningful way. Getting lost in the stream of logical attempts is wasting time. All roads lead to love. Not that which we think we understand but something far greater. All we can do is follow it, our meagre addition giving relevance to the whole.

Who am I? from Kalle W
Who am I? from Kalle W

No matter how deeply we probe our souls, we are who we are regardless. Trying to be someone we're not is counterproductive and without purpose. Accepting who we are, with all our foibles, will set you free.


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    • Tony DeLorger profile imageAUTHOR

      Tony DeLorger 

      7 years ago from Adelaide, South Australia

      Thanks Spacekid. I'm glad you found it thought-provoking. Thanks for taking the time to read and comment.

    • Spacekid profile image


      7 years ago

      Sometimes i wonder the same thing, then i think that as long as i'm here, i'll live life to the fullest, and also find an answer or two. Anyway, nice work! It made me think of a lot of things that could really be the answer to those questions

    • Tony DeLorger profile imageAUTHOR

      Tony DeLorger 

      7 years ago from Adelaide, South Australia

      Thanks for your comment alok agarwal. I appreciate it.

    • profile image

      alok agarwal 

      7 years ago

      You appear to be on the gate-way of self realisation,that is the reason you have

      generated this question within you.The

      process of self realisation ultimately

      ends into the confrontation to ultimate

      Truth of this Universe.

      How our body is constituted:

      1.We have this body alive,because of all

      that bio-chemical and metabolic reactions

      that are undergoing within it,making and

      enabling it to move & react.

      2.Thereafter you also have a mind and

      brain,these two pertain to field of

      consciousness,which leads you to take

      Deliberations & Decisions,in order to

      preserve your existence together with

      your wishes.

      3.Lastly the deepest thing you have

      got in this body is your Conscience.

      The human existence is the perfect

      blend of these three.The first one

      vanishes following the death of body.

      The remaining two vanishes with death

      or not is a question which invites great

      discussion since the History of Mankind.

      Many believe that everything vanishes

      consequent to death.

      But there are many philosophies which

      are suggestive of fact that there still

      remains something that continues beyond


      But we have no evidence to prove that

      remaining continuance of existence beyond

      death.General concept of Law & Science

      is,that nothing remains after death of

      body,except some fortunes that the deceased

      has left to taken taken by his heirs

      by way of succession.

      Recently in an episode in Discovery Channel

      I had seen that one medico-injury case,the

      person who inflicted the fatal injuries,in

      an American Hospital was declared Brain dead

      and all his life saving appliances were

      removed from his body,and Doctors were

      asking his parents,if they were interested

      in donating his vital organs.When that man

      revived to alive he told that he was hearing all

      those talks,and had remained in resentment

      why his parents were permitting doctors

      to eliminate the life saving appliances from his

      body,and also that when doctors were offering his parents

      to donate his organs.

      This case,which occurred some time in year 2006,

      leaded to the conclusion,that the though process

      within human body is not subjective to the Grey

      or White matter of scalp,but the effective conscious-

      ness remains somewhere outside of human body,we

      just need this material body and we just need

      the blood,brain and neurons just to express those senseness & sensations.This means consciousness transcends death.

      In this scientific perspective your quest as to,

      What and Who am I?,is very releventand pertinent.

      In Indian theology a renowned philosopher Maharshi

      Raman had described this philosophy,the conclusions

      whereof i would try explain some other time.

      I had an opportunity to write the an article under

      the same head & title,as you have got some time during

      1999 through my website

      But unfortunately i couldn't continue it because of

      the lack of helping hand,and to certain limit lack of financial resources also contributed to it.

      Now i am back again.Very soon i will be helping you

      further to come to the conclusion of Ultimate Truth.

    • Tony DeLorger profile imageAUTHOR

      Tony DeLorger 

      7 years ago from Adelaide, South Australia

      I agree completely D.G. Glad the piece inspired, Thanks for reading and commenting. Cheers

    • D.G. Smith profile image

      D.G. Smith 

      7 years ago

      I enjoyed your article Tony it inspired many thoughts

      here is one or two

      To me

      logic is a tool for understanding. It is one tool of many. We can not 'understand' or determine esoteric truths with logic alone, anymore then a carpenter can build a house using only a hammer.

      this said I am not claiming to have stumbled onto any grand overriding truth. Not because I don't believe they exist, but because I believe we can not analyse our lives and purpose in whole while immersed in the drama of living.

      My truths are similar to yours though, to me love is by far the most meaningful moments I have experienced here. However, to me all moments are important and each one i get to experience is sacred, even though I can not fully understand their meaning.

      life what a wonderful gift!

    • Tony DeLorger profile imageAUTHOR

      Tony DeLorger 

      7 years ago from Adelaide, South Australia

      Thanks misty95

    • misty95 profile image


      7 years ago from uk

      The only door I close, is a persons aura to face their own shadow. Even if that means guiding to and past death.

      Reflection is the knowledge of knowing we write or say what really we need to face ourselves.

      The same as I close the door on myself.

      That is not a blockage, that is going within.

      Not doing the things you normally do, IE, I did not watch telly for nearly 2 years.

      Why. One level we get the telly of shadows talking to us.

      Energy's pass what stars have been through each time we blink in the Etheric (In the KARMIC dictionary it is etheric) ether.

      If we are not conscious, vet what we and are children watch, (before learning how to fight first in spirit) then we obviously take thought form of ills, this is the fighting light of spirit.

      You may be honored placing new words in the dictionary, I find it laughable with my standing of the world of what I see.

      Loads are hooked on cocaine, facing levels of suicide.

      Certain things we watch, we blink unconsciously, following

      Try to see the difference in mind, that in shadow we would kill in one breath.

      See the difference that words all have feeling and color.

      All stand in mind as the world is saying every thing about you, the worlds thought's. Even the worst.

      Then you accept all. So you kill the lot on first thought.

      That is not letting them as close, otherwise it is.

      Round and round the garden like the bell in my teddy bears ear.

      That learnt me, the world about poltergeists.

      For us all to conquer our fears.

      1. This helps to beat paranoia.

      You are both facing the worlds shadow, they are energy's.

      This is also guiding a world.

      I am the spider that travels the world on every connection.

      Once you click to the truth the spirit is like a machine fighting for more knowledge more truth.

      It would be nice if we could see these as lesson's, and change the tone, to both throw some area's of thought you both, and the world are having trouble with.

      Other's will then use this as a HELP hub.

      This you either see you both got riled for, or we carry on biting.

      Someone at a stage thought, or did get to the tablet level.

      I will give a clue, I learnt that all that have created any form of tablet have probably gone though these stages to get where they are.

      If your spirit truely wants to rid self of illness, it learn's to fight the creator of shadow on this level.

      As energy's in patch form pass all the time in what we are not conscious of knowing.

      The past is a learning lesson, bring it up and they are first sign's of retching, of sickness, fight the past then you reflect,learn. (one of them.

    • Tony DeLorger profile imageAUTHOR

      Tony DeLorger 

      7 years ago from Adelaide, South Australia

      The nature of your attack simply tells us that you have personal issues to deal with. A critique is one thing but getting personal and trying to bully what you think, is an embarrassment. And I'm not the only one who thinks so. Unfortunately your ego and underlying issues blind you completely to the point of my original article. You are so far from claiming anything, just by your negative attitude.

      I am open to anyone's view, we all learn from one another, but when someone is as negative and non objective as you are, I tend to reject it. It's simply not worth the aggrivation or effort. Do me a favour and don't read or comment on my work again- because after seeing how you conduct yourself, it just wastes my time.

    • Cagsil profile image


      7 years ago from USA or America

      Only chosen ignorance closed the door to truth. And, I never choose ignorance.

    • misty95 profile image


      7 years ago from uk

      Then you didn't bash his head for long enough if you picked the headache up.

      There is opinion, then there is the shadow.

      Consciousness can be lost, in the level's of insanity and skitzo levels.

      There we can lose all sense of everything.

      Some never return.

      Some learn to fight for their mind.

      Cagsil it looks like some mad man jumped in not knowing what he was supposed to be reading, just looking for a fight.

      I state fact of what can be seen.

      Although if we do not get riled, we are not really alive are we, we will not have the benefit of the parallel.

    • Tony DeLorger profile imageAUTHOR

      Tony DeLorger 

      7 years ago from Adelaide, South Australia

      Finding answers is not the point at all. Your arrogance is astounding Casgil. Anyone who thinks they have achieved or found or anything definitive has just closed the door on truth and being open. Our primitive process of thought and logic is a means to an end, but truth and understanding is always in flux. I am now expremely bored, appreciate you comments but its giving me a headache. Bashing your head against a wall does that.

    • Tony DeLorger profile imageAUTHOR

      Tony DeLorger 

      7 years ago from Adelaide, South Australia

      Firstly thank you for reading, but I fear you miss the point. This article is not a personal statement, rather a conglomeration of expression that hopefully triggers some personal thought and consideration among readers. I simply raise questions for consideration. Your inferred understanding beyond these words is an indication that you too are seaching, endeavouring to understand, certainly not that you do. that would be your ego being demonstated. before you go off assuming and concluding your own thoughts, you should read many more of my writings and poems, over 380 of them. My collective experience in these matters is vast and I certainly don't claim to know anything beyond what I have personally concluded at this time. I am open always. You do not affend but rather give away your own personal issues, and for that I'm sorry. But I do appreciate you taking the time to comment. regards

    • Cagsil profile image


      7 years ago from USA or America

      Hey Tony, your title has two questions in one. You must answer the second one before you can answer the first one. Who is the form functioning as What? So, answer what are you first. You are just no different than many of others like you. You are human. What is human? Human is an individual being existing in this time and space. What allows you to understand that is your consciousness. If you didn't have your consciousness, then you wouldn't be aware of what you are, much less, be able to figure who you are.

      You want purpose for your life, then I would suggest you create a purpose. That individual purpose should be something that is beyond yourself, so you can obtain a constant stasis of selfless love. Thus, bringing meaning into your life, like no other.

      You claim people cannot know truth, but fail to notice that there are no words of wisdom in your hub. So, yes there is no truth in your hub. I understand why you have no truth and that's because you've managed to convince yourself that life is too complex to figure out and you use the holes of science to make that claim, when the truth of the matter is much simpler.

      I am not trying to offend, but hopefully make an impact so as to get you to recognize truth for what it actually is. I was once like you and almost everyone goes through the steps. It's about knowing yourself, your potential, your capabilities, your limitations and recognizing the sole source for not truly understanding your life, which is derived by your own ego. Not consciousness. I bid you good luck going forward.

    • misty95 profile image


      7 years ago from uk

      I have added your hub to my ghosts and poltergeists hubs, as these are levels of thought we tend to have here.

      Down the line also, here though we open our mind to all possibility's, suddenly all seems so big, yet small.

    • Tony DeLorger profile imageAUTHOR

      Tony DeLorger 

      7 years ago from Adelaide, South Australia

      Thanks for reading and commenting Misty95

    • misty95 profile image


      7 years ago from uk

      YOU ARE LEARNING The levels of self. You will not feel love if you do not experience hate. Every thought has its parallel.

      Very educated hub on the lostness we have to pass.

      These are hubs that the thoughts can be used in teachings of levels.


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